No, you’re right. Even a diary is written for an audience, albeit a small one. It is nigh-on-impossible to write totally unself-conciously, without a thought for the effect your words will have, even if it’s for your eyes only. There’s a little internal censor, the bullshit chip, it’s difficult to bypass and is what causes writers’ block (you can tell it’s working when you look at every damn word you just wrote thinking “wow, this is bullshit”). Even when the words are flowing from your fingers as if they are completely disregarding your brain, there is a mental process going on, watching your words, considering their weight. It’s happening while I write this post, and is telling me I sound like a dork. It always does that so I’ll ignore it for now…
Your point is too simplistic. You could say, as I just did, that every word written (just as with spoken words) is there for an audience. Produced for an audience, even. However, even if something is written specifically for an audience of millions, it doesn’t mean that you are not writing purely because the act gives you pleasure. Hence, writing it for yourself.
I’ve read some great fic. I’ve read some really bad fic. All I see is people being into what they are doing for their own purposes and needs, but also enjoying that they can share it with others and find out if it was a good experience for somebody else other than themselves. As I said in my earlier post, I do not get feedback. I don’t have the support of an instant community of like-minded people. So it is very much a one-way street for me, and what do I do? Keep writing because I need to, I want to, and because I probably get more out of it than any poor sod trawling through my turgid prose. I write very much for me, but in the simple act of telling a story, I also write to be read. The one does not exclude the other.
And it won several fanfic awards.