Farewell, my old friend

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I noticed that you were slowing down. You just weren’t putting out the energy that made you such a loyal companion for all of these years. Your strength was waning, and I knew that the time was approaching when I would have to say goodbye. It was sad, and frustrating as well, to see that once-robust and responsive performance become lackluster.

But now it’s time, my dear Makita. Your batteries no longer hold a charge and your torque is not up to the task. It’s time to trade up to an 18v model and toss you on the trash-heap of history. We’ve driven a lot of screws over the years, and drilled a lot of virgin lumber, but it’s over. Farewell, my old friend.

2

Followed by a bunch of comforting comments about the rainbow bridge. We know the drill.

3

There’s a hole in all our hearts thinking of your loss.

4

Remember before you and Makita hooked up when you had to do all your screwing by hand? Jeez, my forearms were huge from all that exertion.

I’ve had my own Makita for coming up on 15 years now. She’s never failed me despite having been taken to task innumerable times and for every conceivable project. It’ll be a sad day indeed when I have to trade her in on a newer model. Well, sad until that… you know… first screw.

Galvanized screws. I’d tap that.

5

Bravo!

6

Not without a washer, surely.

7

This thread is boring.

8

I was bracing myself for a bit of a tearjerker thread. This doesn’t auger well…

9

Me too. It turned out to be only a drill, but I bit.

10

My drill’s name was “Chuck”. ::sob::

11

Well, crap. I came in to chastise you for ditching your drill because she wasn’t as young as she used to be and had lost some of her moves. Only to discover she’s a he. Nevermind.

12

And people thought I was odd for getting sentimental when my first scientific calculator died.

13

Well, when your number’s up, it’s up.

14

I’m going to send a thread link to my son. He had a more sudden loss recently when someone broke into the garage. No warning, just suddenly . . . the drill is gone.

15

I wish I could get this worked up over my drill. I’m sort of eying new ones - I want to trade up to a more powerful one with a better recharging system.

16

I’m sure it reciprocated your feelings.

17

Oh, darn it to Hex! That’s the square root of sad.

18

Oh Makita, tell me what’s wrong;
You’re constrained by your own charger.
We both know the problem is larger.
How I hate to see you like this;
There is no way you can deny it;
I can see that you’re oh so sad, so quiet.*
*with apologies to Abba

19

Yeah. ChefGuy was screwed.

20

Back in the eighties, there was a particularly annoying song called Nakita. One of the great 1970s rockers had gone all mushy. We called it Makita: The Power Tool Song.

Edit: it was Nikita by Elton John. A far cry from classics like Funeral for a Friend.