Farting in a Tank

There’s a periscope-kinda thing (nowadays festooned with filters and cameras and rangefinders and stuff) that can serve just as well as a place to hang air fresheners and the occasional mandala.

and a pair of fluffy dice

Would a gas mask help?

As Billy Connolly pointed out, a fart in a spacesuit is much worse. :eek: :smiley:

Whereas pissing in a wetsuit can be quite welcome.

As long as it’s your own, and you’re wearing it at the time. Departures from this are viewed rather poorly. :smiley:

As a Center in football I’d often fart on my Quarterback’s hand before hiking the ball. I’d imagine these tankers would just fart right inside the nose covering of a gas mask when their buddies weren’t looking.

I’d hold a fart in the huddle just so I could fart on the QB’s hands before the play started. Good times.

It’s a boy thing. Boys are gross.*

Ivylad was a sonar tech on a submarine. They used to rate each other’s farts on loudness, lingering bouquet quality, and the length of the fart. He had a very proud moment when he managed to clear out the sonar shack after one memorable bout of flatulence.

*I like boys. I have two in my family. But whereas women are highly embarrassed by such things, boys like to compete against each other.

Don’t know about tanks but I can tell you from personal experience that farting into a wet helmet is not a good idea.

In the infantry we would take our helmets off and turn them upside down and sit on them to rest. One time we had been in the field in the rain for a couple of weeks everything was wet. I sat on my helmet in the usual way and suffered a gas attack. My helmet stank for days. Never noticed the problem with a dry helmet but when wet it seems to retain the fragrance indefinately…

Nope, they don’t filter methane.

…for want of clean air the sub was lost,
for want of the sub…

The next time somebody tries to tell me that man is the only mammal that doesn’t intentionally scent-mark its territory, I’ll show him this thread.

That doesn’t matter – methane itself is odorless. It’s more complex aromatic (! technically correct, but oddly inappropriate) hydrocarbons that are responsible for the signatures of flatulence.

the answer is simple… Charcoal filters in your underwear…


Thanks for all the replies, folks. I’ll rest assured tonight knowing our tanker men are farting their way to victory! (I wonder if Iraqui tankers’ farts are any worse than our troop’s farts? Maybe we could end the war this way!!)

In wartime, tankers are always worried about putting gas in their tank…

Yep, there is ammonia in urine, and the smell from those rounds probably has a very good explanation. Aren’t most propellants nitrogen based? There are probably all kinds of nitrogenous compounds produced during combustion, but I would imagine that ammonia (NH3) would be the primary one.

Oh, yeah… good times!

Mind you, Maneuvering is much more open, but we did the same. But ask him about ‘venting Sans’ sometime… But not near mealtime!

Actually, nitrogen itself is probably the primary nitrogenous combustion product. Bi-atomic elemental nitrogen is very stable, which is why so many explosive compounds contain nitrogen: It wants very much to get into that stable state, and so it will do so very energetically. Any ammonia smell is probably from unburned propellant, not from the end product, so a more efficient formulation would have less smell.

What exactly do you think they refer to when they talk about “friendly fire fartalities”?