Normally, I’m a pretty slow person–not athletic, not quick on my feet, etc. But I have a couple of good examples of superhero-quality quickness, and I bet others–parents especially, I imagine–have equally impressive stories.
~This has happened more than once, and my husband is always amazed: I’m standing, say, by the couch, and one of the littlepoets is across the room, doing some goofy littlepoet thing like climbing the bookcase or walking around in Mommy’s shoes. Law of gravity intervenes, and somehow, I manage to be across the room before the little dumpling’s head smacks the floor. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve just managed to get my hand between the back of a sweet little skull and the nasty hard concrete. It’s sort of like catching a fly ball, I imagine.
~The best story I have…Wish I had a film of this one: Working in my second-story soap studio, which has lovely windows overlooking the porch roof and the street below. 2 yo littlepoet is in the next room, babbling as usual; I am in the kitchen, thinking to myself, “Wow, the acoustics in here make it sound like he is almost…well, outside! How interest—”. Then, sudden understanding of the mathematical equation involving 2 year olds, old window sashes, flat porch roof, etc, strikes.
Did I mention I was 8 months pregnant? And said window was approximately…well, SMALL?
Littlepoet was, of course, standing outside, on the creaky, un-railed roof of the porch below, waving merrily at the little cars that were driving by, no doubt while their owners called child protection on their cell phones.
You have NEVER, I bet, in all your days, seen a pregnant woman squeeze through an opening that small, in 1 second flat. Or less. And then grab happy child and squeeze back through that opening just as quickly. I was covered with bruises from hip to ankle, and I bet I could never fit through that thing again, even if I wasn’t preggers.
I wonder sometimes if I shouldn’t just velcro them to the nearest wall until they’re grown…
Anyone else got Superhero-fast stories?