You’re welcome, and thank you for the compliment. I’m still not sure it was a good idea, but it’s done now.
It can be tough to overlook things, to pretend you don’t notice the stares or whispers or random comments from complete strangers. It does take some of the shine off my day when it happens. But either it happens less often now that I am middle-aged and therefore even more invisible, or I just don’t even notice anymore. (That would be a hoot, wouldn’t it? )
Either way, I have things I have to do and that I want to do, and I’m going to do them regardless of what anyone else thinks. I hope that’s how you feel, too.
Spectre Well, I find myself a bit overwhelmed by identity politics. The idea that suffering, if done as a group, can be described as some sort of political oppression, really annoys me. Everyone suffers. Everyone is judged. We all belong to some archetypal category that is derided by some other group. It’s just par for the course. That’s life. Yes, I would like it to be better, yes I would like to live in a kinder and more compassionate world, but as it is, I don’t see this sort of ideological balkanization as the answer to our problems.
I used to be a smoker. I quit because it was too expensive, bad for me, and made me smell like smoke (that was the worst of the 3 for me).
I still believe that smokers should have some rights… Like not being bitched at by every non smoker (especially if their bitching doesn’t involve “the smoke is bothering me in this smoking area, I can’t go elsewhere, would you mind stepping a few feet further away?”… to which I’d respond “sure, no problem.”)
Outside a Burger King (no less) one time a rather obese man told me that smoking was bad for my health. I told him never to eat another cheeseburger because he looked like a fat disgusting (expletive).
Cruel? Probably. But since when is it just fine to bitch at smokers smoking in a smoking area respectfully (not blowing it in someone’s face or smoking right next to someone who might not be a smoker) but its not cool to point out that an obese person, just the same as a smoker, is racking up a large future bill for medicaid (if they make it that far)… as well as, well, repulsing me (sorry, but if I was told by non smokers that it made me not look attractive or disgusted them… I can respond in turn).
The guy was rude to you and you responded in kind. Not even the same thing the FA people are talking about. And nothing to do with political correctness.
No, but you should accept yourself as a person, regardless, and other people have no business imputing poor character, bad work habits, etc. to you because you smoke.
Here’s where it gets interesting. AFAICT, we know a fair amount about what works, and what doesn’t work, with respect to quitting smoking, and making it stick. OTOH, we don’t know a hell of a lot about what works about how to keep weight off over the long haul, once it’s been lost.
Oh, we know in the basic sense of “eat less, eat healthier, exercise more,” but that’s the food equivalent of “don’t smoke.” Every smoker knows they shouldn’t be smoking, and every smoker who’s quit knows they should stay off the cigs. The hard part is doing it, and that’s what we’ve got more understanding about with smoking than with keeping the weight off. Because at some point, whether it’s keeping off cigarettes, or keeping the weight off, life forces other priorities on us, and maintaining in either situation ceases to be at the top of the list. Finding out what works after that point would seem to be the key.
Suse, thanks for taking the time to post your experiences and thoughts on this subject. What you say makes a lot of sense (and is well articulated) and it honestly helped me see where you, and I’m sure many others, are coming from.
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