I get this question asked all around the world and it’s starting to get to me.
Q: What’s your favorite actress?
Me: … umm… I don’t watch enough movies to have a favorite I guess…
[and if it would stop here, everything would be normal]
Q: Well you still can have a favorite actress, you don’t have to see her movies!
Me: I don’t watch enough plays either.
[I answered that a couple of times but now it’s forming a pattern so I don’t even try mentioning plays anymore]
Q: Well that’s weird. You must have a favorite actress though!?
Me: sigh Fine. Scarlet Johanssen
[Or some other random name I can pull from the depths of my mind]
Q: Oh yeah, she’s very pretty.
[Or some other variant thereof]
What the hell are these people smoking? Sure, it could be a veiled attempt to figure out what features I find attractive in women, but seriously, as far as leading questions go, there’s far better ones. How am I supposed to answer that? Should I just answer somebody off the list of actresses I’d bang? Cause I don’t remember their damn names most of the time.
The thing that perplexes me is that I had this asked in Russia, US and Japan by the locals, male and female. This isn’t “Nice weather, isn’t it?” or “Do you like ____?” or “Do you ever go hiking?” or “Do you prefer strawberry or chocolate ice cream?”. Is there just some canned smalltalk I’m supposed to have rehearsed that makes this less awkward? Should I just pick one?
I think I might start asking people about other professions.
Who’s your favorite radio talk show comic relief?
Who’s your favorite televangelist?
Who’s your favorite Manhattan saucier who works south of 34th and does not have a schwa in their name?
Who’s your favorite mayor’s aide?
