Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about.
Reading that was the point where I started thinking “This G-d guy, he’s pretty cool. He’s just got really bad PR people working for him nowadays.”
I find reading the old testament, like you would read The Illiad or The Obysey, gives a much better feeling and view of the book. Then reading the new testament gospels like conflicting and mixed up news reports, and the rest of the new testament like web pages and blogs, leads to a much better view of the whole bible.
Numbers, 31. Looked it up. As for my least avorite, it would be all those bits mentioning that a portion for Gad had been divvied out and then to the side of that a portion for Naphtali, etc.
The endless geneologies are the biggest snooze ever, don’t need em. The ones that cover the same stuff, like the gospels…condense them into one and call it good.
I rather like Revelation, after 25 books that are about being nice to your neighbor and all that, getting an ass-kicking god back is refreshing.
I agree Job is the obvious “least favorite” part. But let me add The Passover story from Exodous.
When I was in college, my best friend (Jewish) had me over for Passover Dinner. I accepted and enjoyed it, but after dinner he and I were talking, I asked him was it bad that we just enjoyed a wonderful feast that celebrated the massacre of Egyptian babies?
He said had never thought about that. Since then, every passover he calls me and wishes me a happy baby killing.
In fact, I’ve started to really enjoy the Genesis just because of the preachings of KRS-One (yes, that’s right):
Favorite–Ecclesiates, the only book in the Bible that reads like philosophy.
Least Favorite–all those stupid laws in Leviticus and the rest of the Pentateuch. Come on–trying to pass of the customs and prejudices of your obscure little tribe as the Word of God? Who’s gonna fall for that?
No votes for the beatitudes yet? Then I nominate the entire 5th chapter of Matthew. We all know the beatitudes well, but I find the rest of the chapter equally challenging:
Even if you don’t accept the divinity of Christ, what a better world it would be if we all lived with this philosophy.
As for least favorite, I have to go with Revelation. I’m in the camp that it was meant to give hope to those persecuted under Roman rule and that the 666 was plainly referring to Nero. It’s my opinion that those churches that make Revelation a central part of their preaching miss the point entirely. Of course, you may disagree and neither of us is going to be proven wrong.
But the point of Job, I suppose, is that though God in general does reward the good and punish the bad, there are occasions when this, by all that we can tell, does not happen - and when it does, we are to remember that we’re in no position either to make a judgment call on God or to call him to account. I don’t know Ecclesiastes as well. God says to Job “Here’s a basic checklist of all you need to do before you’re in a position to question me: 1. build your own universe out of nothing…”.
It’s also important to remember that Job is probably the work of divers hands at different times. The prevailing theory is that the “Prose Job” (the introductory/historical chapters 1 and 2, and the concluding chapter 42) was added to an older “Poetic Job.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Job#Authorship In the orginal story, there was no bet between God and Satan; Job simply suffered for no explained reason. (Which is what happens IRL.) And there was no happy ending, either.
I don’t like Revelation simply because of what it’s done to Christianity. Everyone who tries to attach a meaning to something (ie. “This symbolizes the war in Iraq”) and the whole “sky is falling” attitude are really making Christianity discussions very grating. That, and I hate how people keep adding an “s” to the end of “Revelation.”
You knew someone was gonna do it . . . 
– A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess
Matthew 6
Um, hey guys, this is Jesus. You know all that stuff you do to show everybody how Christian you are and how much you love me and how much better you are than everyone else? Cut it out.
I love reading of Jonah - comedy disguised as a Bible lesson and Nehimiah - a drama with no “miracles”.
You’re probably going to owe my MIL a new tablecloth in a couple of weeks. I just know I’ll end up thinking about this during Seder, and probably at some point where I’ll laugh wine out through my nose.
I love the whole story of David. It seems a lot more “real” than most of the biblical narratives- you know this guy by the time it’s finished. Such a pity there’s never been a much better movie about him (though a miniseries would be better, though they’d mangle it I’m sure.) My favorite moments are his relationship with Saul (love-hate mentor-enemy) and Jonathan (note: I do not see it as a gay affair), Bathsheba and the dramatic highpoint- the all male pieta remix as he holds the body of Absalom (not the first son lost to deeds he can blame himself for). Even Abishag in old age- this is a character worthy of Shakespeare (and I was really glad to see somebody else make the Godfather analogy- I’ve often wondered if that was Puzo’s inspiration).
Other faves: Abraham (also a very human character) and Jacob (he wrestled with an angel- how cool is that? And he’s the one who stayed in the tents with the women, imagine what Esau would have done to the angel!). Parts of the gospels.
Least faves: the Epistles, the books of law, and other things that are so clearly tied to a particular place and time. It’s almost like reading Assyrian recipes and zoning ordinances.
Revelations: it’s so clearly either coded or written by a wildly delusional zealot, and I’ve no idea why so many people still take it so seriously (its vagueness is so malleable I suppose).
One of my favorite ever overheard items happened in a grocery store a few years ago. I ran into “Miss Maude”, a former schoolteacher who had since retired and was the type of sweet Aunt Clara type lil’ ol’ ladies who has nothing of interest to say but doesn’t let that stop them from talking forever and ever to anybody who’s too polite to walk away. She was also the type who can put the LOL in Little Old Lady, but never intentionally.
We were at the meat counter in the grocery store and she was blathering on and on sweetly and boringly about her petunias or some such and I smiled and nodded and tried to name all of the presidents in reverse chronological order in my mind to seem interested when a lady came up, looked in Ms. Maude’s basket and said “Excuse me, ma’am, but I notice you’re buying kidneys… I’ve never bought those but they’re so cheap I probley should get some. Could you tell me how you fix them?”
Miss Maude: “Well, dear, I just boil them in some water with some salt and pepper and seasonings and then leave them to cool on some paper towels and then when they’re cool enough to touch I tear 'em into small chunks.”
Woman: Hmmm. Do they taste okay?
Miss Maude: Well, I don’t eat 'em personally, but I don’t like red meat [insert long story about why she doesn’t eat red meat here], but Sam and Lou and Ray and Josie eat 'em like there’s no tomorrow!
Woman: Hmmm. Well, it’s less than a dollar, I’ll get some and try that. Thanks!
Miss Maude continued talking about her petunias or whatever, then when the woman was long out of earshot she cocked her head and asked, completely innocently and seriously, “Do you suppose I should have told that lady that I only cook kidneys for my cats?”
AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGG!!! Please pardon that last one. It was meant for another thread. (Second time today I’ve done that- must be the new computer tabbing.)
Hee. I was figguring that you were heading toward some Exodus-based dietary rule. Like maybe she’d mixed dairy with her kidneys. 
You think those are dull?! I bet your town’s zoning ordinances don’t prescribe impalement for violators!