When I was 17 years old, I discovered local BBS systems on my parents 286. I discovered that I could be somebody else there. I was slick. I was smart. I didn’t stutter and I could take my time and say something witty, unlike IRL, where I would always think of the perfect thing to say in a situation…one hour later.
But on the BBS, man, I was it. Hell, I even got laid IRL twice by girls I met on BBS’s.* See, they got to know me first. They met me only after we had established some groundwork. No pregnant pauses, no sounding like a complete and total geek. And if I did, well hell. Those boards were full of geeks anyway. I learned from those experiences. I actually could talk to girls.
The point of all this being that is was a different world way back 9 whole years ago. The Internet is different today, and I am a different man today as well. Today, that “anonymity” doesn’t exist. A great deal of you could probably find out who I am, or at least what my IP address is, fairly easily. This is also a different kind of board. One must take one’s time and pound out a clear, concisely worded post to be taken seriously, even in the Pit.
For myself, I’m married now. I am not on the 'net to get laid. A different type of validation is needed.
So why do I come here? What type of validation, if any, does one find on the SDMB? I dunno. People get it in different ways.
The troll, well, that’s easy. If I piss you off and you feed me, bingo. Instant gratification, instant validation.
The One-trick-pony is a different animal than the troll. By using the same schtick over and over, I get attention at first. Then I get called what I am: OTP. I then drop off the SDMB, to use the schtick elsewhere on the 'net, or I stick around and develop a personality. Then again, maybe I don’t.
There it is. Develop a personality. On the SDMB, you will eventually be no one other than yourself if you stay. If you post. And that can be hard for some, being yourself. Some have a good deal of success here, some don’t. Some find validation here, some don’t.
Some of us invest so much of ourselves in the SDMB that we become fragile here. I can understand why we do this. This place is full of smart people. Beautiful people. Witty people. Funny people. I can see why you all love it so much. I love it too.
But I don’t post that often. Why? Because I don’t want you to judge me too harshly. I don’t want to offend Esprix. I don’t want to pile on His4ever. I would loathe feeling the lash of jarbabyj’s acid keyboard. I don’t want Coldfire to step in and tell me that, “that’s quite enough, thank you.”
These are just examples off of the top of my head, and I don’t mean to single these posters out. Not trying to make enemies here, that’s just the point. (OK, well, I did mention Esprix because I know he does vanity searches, and I wanted to get his attention. I think he’ll post here that way. ;)) I respect you all immensely.
I guess this rant was brought on by the now locked Google Search Mod Orgy! thread. Yeah, that one. I slogged through that whole damn thing. I’m not even sure why. I guess it was morbidly fascinating to me, watching egos get crushed on the 'net. The formerly “anonymous” 'net. And in the SDMB. Watch out gang, we eat our own here. I dunno why. But I do know that it hurt to read. Every post of it.
That’s the kind of thread that scares me here. Look, I understand that some people need a good old fashioned pile-on sometimes. I understand that there will be debates that people line up and choose sides for. But it seems to happen often. That is why I read often, post infrequently.
Maybe this is just another Plea for Tolerance and Understanding. But I’m putting it here because, hey: It’s just IMHO.
So do you post here too much maybe? Not as much as you’d like? Why? Do you find that the SDMB validates you? Do you think that too much of your validation comes from here? Just the right amount? (That makes it a poll, I guess)
My God. If this was /. this post would be rated -1(Flamebait).
Thanks for reading this.
d_redguy
*They were sweet girls. Really. Maybe “got laid” is a mischaracterization. Well, no it isn’t either. The point is, they were both very sweet and good girls, and I am sure they would/do make excellent wives.