I got pestered about my cell phone last time I went in there, too. It was weird. Yes, I have a cellphone, and no, I’m not interested in whatever you’re pushing - I’m content with my pay-as-you-go plan. It was a complete non sequitur - “I’m just browsing, thanks.” “Have you got a cellphone?”
Can’t argue with you there.
There will always be somebody more beautiful out there. Besides, I bet you look great just the way you are!
But most of the people who walk for exercise are doing it for things like “joint flexibility” or “to get some air”. If my mother’s heart ever gets to pumpin’ super-duper-hard, we’ll have to call 112.
Waitacottonpickingminute! You realize that this is the Pit, right? No matter how absolutely fabulous Lindsay looks, no matter how superlatively beautiful, this is supposed to be MiniRants! Get with the program! Just because Lindsaybluth is blindlingly, marvelously gorgeous is no reason for you to sidestep the rules here, bub!
Oh, and co-workers? Don’t gripe if I can’t notify you of schedule changes if you can’t be arsed to update the home/cell/e-mail contacts I have for you. I’d try smoke signals, but it’s raining pretty hard, and I’d have a pretty rough time trying to build a fire for that…
To me, walking from one place to another is ‘activity’ (and the more the better, surely) but not ‘exercise’. Physical exercise is a planned exertion, outside the norm of how most people move around all day, by definition. Well, I guess this does apply to a lot of sedentary people I know, who get out of breath going up the stairs in their house. But I think the US Government agrees with me here.
Still, it’s like how moving your arms to wash the dishes isn’t exercise. Or lifting your drink to your mouth, even if it’s a pint glass or larger. I’m walking around all day at work (often at a good pace), I’m sure it burns more calories than sitting in a chair but to call it ‘exercise’ just seems silly. It’s physical activity, yes, and very good for me.
I’ll start a thread on walking as exercise rather than continue here. 
ETA: And here it is.
I’m confused. Those are the three things I’m most likely to do on my breaks. What are the other options that management are trying to discourage?
My rant: To the support manager in my office (who I thankfully no longer report to).
You forced your employee to stay on the phone for 45 minutes attempting to support a fax machine that we didn’t sell, or manufacture, and which was having a problem totally unrelated to the service we provide, on the basis that we should try to ‘help the customer’ (apparently, by wasting their time and preventing them phoning the people who can actually help, like for instance Lexmark’s support line).
This, for the record, prevented said employee going for lunch at 3.30 (when there are three other people working support). He got off the phone at 4.15, went to get lunch, at which point you gave him shit for getting lunch after the two morning people left for the day.
If he’d stood up and punched you in the mouth right at that moment, no jury in the world would have convicted him. I also would have volunteered to provide an alibi.
I forgot to check back in at the end of the day and then took a snow day* yesterday. This morning, the inside of the breakroom freezer is one sticky mess.
@lindsaybluth: there’s only one dipshit here who puts her soda in the freezer because fridge temp is just not cold enough. It’s been gently (and possibly not-so-gently) suggested she set an Outlook reminder to go retrieve the fucking thing. She apparently has yet to try that out.
*side rant: I really shouldn’t have to blow through my vacation time to protect my own safety when the entire rest of the city has shut down for a day. Every time I think about it I get seriously pissed the fuck off. I mean, this place isn’t as bad as the circle of hell where Chimera works, but … damn, dudes.
Oh, and other co-worker? (Not soda-in-freezer girl, a different one.) Those gloves I gave you? I’m thrilled you like them. Really, I am. I know you like vintage stuff, and those things are as old if not older than my three decades on this earth. Their age means the leather is soft as anything, but they’re well-cared-for. I’m honestly glad you like wearing bright fuchsia - I don’t. They’re small, and I don’t know many people with hands small enough that they can fit, so I’m glad yours are. I ferreals happy that you posted a note on your blog about how much you like your little random surprise gift.
But, the real reason I gave them to you?
They were my mother’s. She gave them to me years - maybe a decage - ago, once her hands were just too irredeemably knobby to fit anymore. Every time I wear them, they make my hands, to me, look like hers. I just can’t take seeing my hands gripping the steering wheel, looking like her hands did all those countless hours I spent trapped in a car with her.
I’ll never tell you this. But I’m putting it here, where you’ll never read it.
heh, thank you both 
Stop that fucking smiling right this second!
Shouldn’t that have been in CAPS?
Caps sound too gleeful. I am being emphatic and stern. Stern!
I cried. True story.
Good.
You stupid cunt. If the baby’s sick you take the baby to the pediatrician. You don’t go on a message board asking about homeopathic remedies. There is no such thing! You give your baby access to medical care. You know the kind that works rather than the kind that’s overpriced shaken water.
Some people should have their breeding licenses revoked.
Sounds like a self-correcting problem to me!
I’m glad that you restricted to yourself to 1500 calories a day and continued regular workouts during your whole pregnancy, darlin.
Enjoy that 4-pound 12-ounce, full-term baby that’s in the NICU now. Aren’t you proud of yourself?
Done and done! I bought sugar free cake mix (sweetened with Splenda) this afternoon. I have no idea what I was thinking but I’m assuming it’s gonna taste like shit.
But my pride won’t allow me not to make it.
Dear Friend: I would prefer that you politely decline my request for a favor, rather than agree to it and then never do it.
After two months, when I come to you and say listen, I can tell you are busy, why don’t I just tell my business partners that you are over commited? It would be much better for me if you agree, rather than tell me no, you really *really *want to do this and promise me again to have it by the end of the week.
Really, we are desperate for the favor, but it would be so much kinder for you to just tell me no. This way is agonizing and my partners call every day asking me if the report is done.