Every HACK hired by FEMA will wind up with free healthcare and a huge pension. How long the American taxpayer can continue to pay for this is open to question. but think about it-and there are HUNDREDS of FEMA-like organizations! 
I’m inclined to believe that any agency that is unable to correctly assign (and then measure!) its disposable utensil budget is probably not going to handle a nuclear strike of any magnitude.
“Mr. President, the contingency plan for dealing with fallout is now in effect. We are distributing golf umbrellas to all citizens in the affected areas.”
“Well, we were going to deliver golf umbrellas to the affected areas, but we messed up and ordered VW Golfs.”
“Then VW called and said they’d changed the name of the US-market Golf to the Rabbit, so we now have $4.2 billion dollars’ worth of fluffy bunnies. Suggest we fit them with Geiger counters and release.”
And while we wait for the approval for this plan, we will store the bunnies without food in this unheated, non-airconditioned warehouse on the other side of the country from the fallout.
Deadly Ninja Throwing Sporks™.