Bolding mine.
I am so pleased that this is catching on. I’m taking full credit for it, because I love it so much heh.
You can actually get a pH testing kit (or just some of the paper, the kind from science class, with a color key) totest your vaginal pH. It’s helpful for women who think they’ve got recurring yeast infections but may in fact have bacterial vaginosis or something else. And for nerds. Who, come to think of it, would probably like the volcano idea, too. But where to put the papier maché?
Well thank you for coining it! I think it’s a great new word.
I have heard of those, now that you mention it. Though back when women were douching b/c it was hard to see a doctor and Monistat wasn’t available over the counter, it probably wasn’t an option, was it?
Anyway, I’m glad my vagina is mostly self cleaning and moist enough but not too moist. It’s the baby bear bed of vaginas.
If you ever list yourself on a dating website, I absolutely demand that this be included.
Sure it was. Ph strips are easy and the technology has been around for eons. But to the best of my knowledge, most women just went for “wow, cheesy, yeasty discharge and itch - I bet I have a yeast infection.”
Well I was feeling old. Now I feel like mummified…leeches…
I am trying to work on some kind of vag slogan that uses “Give a hoot, don’t pollute.” Ah ha that brings us full circle to douching. Do they have different scents like deodorant? Can my hoot smell like cinnamon during the holidays? That would be really handy…
Just make sure you never develop a necrotizing wound (because maggots are introduced to clean up the mess) or an abscess, painful joints, glaucoma, myasthenia, venous disease or thrombosis; because leeches are still used for all that shit!
Well the first part is easy: Love your hoot, (etc).
…don’t douche and root!
That is PERFECT!
Aw, shucks… blushes
kicks floor
I’ve written a tagline or two in my day. This was my magnum opus, though.
*wipes tear
Thank you wimmins, for the best damn douching thread ever!
It makes me somewhat sad that then men would have shied away and missed this, but of course, since they are hoot-less, would not comprehend the entire thread anyway.
Bravo
First time I read that, the sounds of Funky Cold Medina came back to me…
I’m 34, and did it once, mostly out of curiosity and because I was slightly irritated for some reason – maybe it was those spermicidal condoms, now that I think about it. No harm done, and I did feel all nice and clean afterwards, and non-irritated. So it apparently worked.
But never again without a damn good reason, unless I attempt the volcano, which is damn tempting.
Awesome thread, ladies. Awesome.
God, I was skimming and I got to that curling your hair part… I howled with laughter, I did.
It kind of oogs me out that now I think there are people who think I have debris all up in my coochie-pop because I don’t go prospecting around up there. I mean, really? It doesn’t sit on ledges up in there like china dishes! Urgh!
Okay, so the day after, sometimes you get, you know, a damp surprise. With an oddly changed consistency, by the way. Most of the time you encounter it in the bathroom anyway and then you just, you know, wipe like normal. Otherwise, what, what’s the big deal? What’s so gross about it? Unless your man is fundamentally different from mine we are not talking about a gallon of fluid here. Wipe out your panties and have done with it. (But how’s come it’s like Flubber the next day? What’s up with that?)
I use baking soda and vinegar to clean my hair, been without shampoo for over a year and a half. I use only Dr Bronner’s Magic Castille soap on my skin, and Tom’s of Maine toothpaste in my mouth. I shave my legs and underarms maybe a couple time a year, when I will be wearing a dress or some such thing. I have been using The Keeper so long that it’s probably past its use by date. In fact, I have it parked up my hoot right now.
I do not do these things because I am some sort of granola hippie. I am, in fact, super into science and modern medicine. I’m just very sensitive to, like, everything. SLS, the adhesive in bandages, the sun, they all give me itchy rashes and lesions. I wasn’t like this when I was younger, but somewhere around age 20 my skin just got all crazy.
Anyway, I am telling you about my weird hygiene habits to show that I am not adverse to being less than squeaky clean. I am aware that humans are smelly, oily, hairy beasts and that is OK.
But I am an unashamed twat-rooter.
When I started on the pill at 18 I noticed a serious increase in the quantity and viscosity of my cooter crud. It was coating my panties and it just felt icky to sit in all day. So I started sticking a freshly cleaned, soap free finger or two up there each day to get out the majority of my vag junk. My panties stayed clean, my twat stayed fresh, and I’ve only had about 3 yeast infections since then.
I see no reason why a finger stuck hoot wise for cleaning should be any less healthy than one stuck up for pleasure. I find I have become more in tune with my body’s rhythm once I started investigating my drippings. I know when I will be ovulating since it becomes sticky and stringy. When I am about to menstruate it tapers off somewhat and my cervix opens slightly. Very handy.
And my panties, though not smelling of daisies at the end of the day, have remained clear of the stainage that I know cursed my mother. Win win.
Give a hoot, don’t pollute…
Seriously, though, Little Bird, I don’t think that counts. You’re not douching.
BTW, this thread has been a real hoot.
I seriously can’t believe the boydopers have stayed away from this thread - they don’t know what they are missing. But then we’d be dealing with calls for ‘Cite’ for posts like the one above.
I’m 34 and have never douched - was always told it was a completely ineffectual (and sometimes counter productive) form of contraception, and something to be avoided for normal vag health.
I have never rooted around up there for spare change either, nor felt the need - apart from once, following IVF treatment when I had to use progesterone suppositories.
The story was that the prog was meant to drain out, and I was pleasantly surprised that I didn’t have this problem (you know where this is going). After a few days I just felt the urge to check… When you have golfball sized lumps of a cross between mozzarella and chewing gum to contend with, that’s when you need to root around up there - if you don’t have that going on, leave well enough alone.