I know that infertilities issues have come out of the closet and are no longer taboo to discuss and this is great ( etc) HOWEVER, of the 10 women I know of who have had babies, 8 of them have had to use fertility drugs to get pregnant. ( Of the two that didn’t, one’s baby was unplanned.) Add me to the list of No Drugs Required.
NONE of these mothers were over thirty, overweight, drug users, smokers/heavy drinkers. They ALL are white, career driven women with excellent health insurance and disposable incomes.
This statistic in my own small little insular world totally blows my mind. If it is this rampant here, it’s gotta be outta control elsewhere.
I have come to my armchair quarterback prognosis after a few years of listening to these womens stories that: They are too impatient to try to get pregnant the usual year average it takes to conceive and after maybe a few months of trying, they go to a fertility doctor and lie about how long it’s taking so they can feel empowered by charting their flow and taking basal temps and then progressing on to clomid. I sincerely beleive that most of these women figure that they will get pregnant NOW and have the baby ON THIS DATE EXACTLY ( yeah, as if…) and it is set in her mind. Except her body is so stressed out from the super woman/Martha Stewart image that she is suppose to have, her body says, not this month.
Again, perhaps being conditioned by an instant gratification society and seeing results NOW, we have become a little too impatient with the most natural and fun thing in the world. It’s become less fun and more automatic. Or perhaps it is the mentality that if Sally had trouble conceiving and she is as normal as the next person, THEN I will do, and some women mental program their ovaries to shut down until they learn to relax.
I also firmly and you cannot change my mind on this one either, believe that if a woman believes that she is going to have a problem conceiving ( without any gyno problems or horrific accidents in her past, but it is all MENTAL) I beleive she will have said problems.
Example: Going back 50 years. When my Uncle married his wife, she told my mom that they could never have children and had to adopt. My mom (her college roommate) never asked her why, but her brother ( my uncle) and he shook his head stating that she got it in her head that she cannot have kids and her own mother thought she was nuts citing Auntie had never been sick in her life. They adopted two children immediately and within a year, she proceeded to pop out the first of her four natural kids.
Example #2, My sister in law tried every test and drug for two years to concieve. Had to tubes roto-rootered. After the regular methods of conception failed repeatly, some Einstein finally decided to test her husband. His sperm was healthy and good count, but ( to put it as my husband did) his drill bit was dull. After injecting his guys into her eggs, and doing IVF, she became pregnant the first try with IVF. If she didn’t have the mula, she wouldn’t have her daughter.
I’ve come to think that alot of this so-called infertility problem is probably bigger in the successful white women because of stress, impatience and the availbility of money.
Example number two is the only one where there was any REAL problem.
I’ve also noticed that of all these friends of mine who had to use drugs or IVF to get pregnant, EVERY ONE OF THEM HAS A DAUGHTER. I’m not sure where I’m going with that one, but it kinda blows my mind.I wonder if there is a stat regarding boy/girl ratio to women on drugs. Oh wait, a cousin by marriage who had to use clomid to conceive had a boy first BUT then became pregnant (whoops)4 months after that boy with another baby who was just born a month ago.
Begin personal rant:
Also, pardon my continual ranting, and maybe I am old fashioned BUT: WHY is it that women who are having " perceived" problems getting pregnant or no problems whatsoever, feel obliged to tell everyone that they are trying to get pregnant? LIKE I WANT TO VISUAL YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HORIZONTAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH. And the women who have problems, recite all the drugs they are taking and how often they have sex etc. WHAT ever happened to privacy? Cripes. I didn’t tell anyone I was trying ( Not even hubby, ok, I clued him in as a courtesy in case he thought he was on some kind of hot streak of studliness :)and didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant until months had passed.( I can keep a secret forever.) You know what I got from friends?
“Is it planned?”" Is it a mistake?" " You must have worried about a miscarriage."
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. on all counts. The sooner you tell people you are pregnant, the longer your pregnancy will last and (this is the worst part) the more advice from the well meaning but totally WRONG ladies with a hatful of oldwives tales that after you hear enough of them you will start to actually beleive in the hold-a-needle-on-a-string-over-your-belly-and-if-it-turns-this-way-it’s a girl crapola.
Being innundated with that garbage was the WORST part of gestating ( even labor)
End Rant.
Comments, concerns, questions, views…What’s buzzing in your cranium on this subject?
People change not because they see the light but because they feel the heat.
We thought then that we’d wait till she had her girls, so as not to “steal her thunder”, or give my poor Mom heart failure.
