Fertility Drugs

I know that infertilities issues have come out of the closet and are no longer taboo to discuss and this is great ( etc) HOWEVER, of the 10 women I know of who have had babies, 8 of them have had to use fertility drugs to get pregnant. ( Of the two that didn’t, one’s baby was unplanned.) Add me to the list of No Drugs Required.

NONE of these mothers were over thirty, overweight, drug users, smokers/heavy drinkers. They ALL are white, career driven women with excellent health insurance and disposable incomes.

This statistic in my own small little insular world totally blows my mind. If it is this rampant here, it’s gotta be outta control elsewhere.

I have come to my armchair quarterback prognosis after a few years of listening to these womens stories that: They are too impatient to try to get pregnant the usual year average it takes to conceive and after maybe a few months of trying, they go to a fertility doctor and lie about how long it’s taking so they can feel empowered by charting their flow and taking basal temps and then progressing on to clomid. I sincerely beleive that most of these women figure that they will get pregnant NOW and have the baby ON THIS DATE EXACTLY ( yeah, as if…) and it is set in her mind. Except her body is so stressed out from the super woman/Martha Stewart image that she is suppose to have, her body says, not this month.

Again, perhaps being conditioned by an instant gratification society and seeing results NOW, we have become a little too impatient with the most natural and fun thing in the world. It’s become less fun and more automatic. Or perhaps it is the mentality that if Sally had trouble conceiving and she is as normal as the next person, THEN I will do, and some women mental program their ovaries to shut down until they learn to relax.

I also firmly and you cannot change my mind on this one either, believe that if a woman believes that she is going to have a problem conceiving ( without any gyno problems or horrific accidents in her past, but it is all MENTAL) I beleive she will have said problems.

Example: Going back 50 years. When my Uncle married his wife, she told my mom that they could never have children and had to adopt. My mom (her college roommate) never asked her why, but her brother ( my uncle) and he shook his head stating that she got it in her head that she cannot have kids and her own mother thought she was nuts citing Auntie had never been sick in her life. They adopted two children immediately and within a year, she proceeded to pop out the first of her four natural kids.

Example #2, My sister in law tried every test and drug for two years to concieve. Had to tubes roto-rootered. After the regular methods of conception failed repeatly, some Einstein finally decided to test her husband. His sperm was healthy and good count, but ( to put it as my husband did) his drill bit was dull. After injecting his guys into her eggs, and doing IVF, she became pregnant the first try with IVF. If she didn’t have the mula, she wouldn’t have her daughter.

I’ve come to think that alot of this so-called infertility problem is probably bigger in the successful white women because of stress, impatience and the availbility of money.

Example number two is the only one where there was any REAL problem.

I’ve also noticed that of all these friends of mine who had to use drugs or IVF to get pregnant, EVERY ONE OF THEM HAS A DAUGHTER. I’m not sure where I’m going with that one, but it kinda blows my mind.I wonder if there is a stat regarding boy/girl ratio to women on drugs. Oh wait, a cousin by marriage who had to use clomid to conceive had a boy first BUT then became pregnant (whoops)4 months after that boy with another baby who was just born a month ago.

Begin personal rant:

Also, pardon my continual ranting, and maybe I am old fashioned BUT: WHY is it that women who are having " perceived" problems getting pregnant or no problems whatsoever, feel obliged to tell everyone that they are trying to get pregnant? LIKE I WANT TO VISUAL YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HORIZONTAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH. And the women who have problems, recite all the drugs they are taking and how often they have sex etc. WHAT ever happened to privacy? Cripes. I didn’t tell anyone I was trying ( Not even hubby, ok, I clued him in as a courtesy in case he thought he was on some kind of hot streak of studliness :)and didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant until months had passed.( I can keep a secret forever.) You know what I got from friends?
“Is it planned?”" Is it a mistake?" " You must have worried about a miscarriage."

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO. on all counts. The sooner you tell people you are pregnant, the longer your pregnancy will last and (this is the worst part) the more advice from the well meaning but totally WRONG ladies with a hatful of oldwives tales that after you hear enough of them you will start to actually beleive in the hold-a-needle-on-a-string-over-your-belly-and-if-it-turns-this-way-it’s a girl crapola.
Being innundated with that garbage was the WORST part of gestating ( even labor)
End Rant.

Comments, concerns, questions, views…What’s buzzing in your cranium on this subject?

People change not because they see the light but because they feel the heat.

I’ll heartily agree with everything in your rant, Shirley. I was one of those idiots who wanted to be pregnant right at a certain time, and Mother Nature sure taught me a lesson.

I got pregnant last summer, and lo and behold, my sister did at the same time. (Hers was unplanned- and she ended up with twins!). Mine ended in a miscarriage. :frowning: We thought then that we’d wait till she had her girls, so as not to “steal her thunder”, or give my poor Mom heart failure.

Imagine my shock when I found out in November that I was 6 weeks pregnant. Chris just decided that was when he was arriving. :slight_smile:

My mom has a terrific picture of me, obviously pregnant myself, wheeling my ready-to-deliver sister up to the OB floor. The look on the nurses faces was priceless!

Hope all is well with you, Shirley!


If you’re not part of the solution you’re just scumming up the bottom of the beaker.

Needless to say, I agree.

(Quick question: Why do these types of threads always start with the three of us?)

I stand by my conviction that 90% of natural pregnancies happen the instant you decide that, for whatever reason, maybe this isn’t the right time to have a baby after all.

I can’t personally relate to the fertility drug discussion, between my two best friends and myself we have 7 children, all conceived the ol’ fashioned way, none planned for, all eagerly anticipated. (I’m planning on raising the number to somewhere between 8 and 10… the other two are finished spawning.)

I don’t really understand the desire to run right out and get fertility drugs. If you try for a while, unaided, with no results, get tested. If everything’s in check, get an ovulation kit. They’re available in most grocery and drug stores. Heck, having been pregnant, I gained a whole new understanding of my body. Ever since my period came back (about four months after giving birth) I can feel myself ovulating.
This mostly-irrelevant rambling brought to you by:
ChrisCTP, maker of Bowen. “When you need a little cute, look to Bowen.”
and by:
Ralph Cerebrum. “Right brain thinking just happens.”

Veni, Vidi, Visa … I came, I saw, I bought.

Two major factors in the impaired fertility problem.

  1. Older age when trying to conceive.
  • more anovulatory cyles
  • busier schedule/less impromptu “fun”
  • perceived pressure due to biological clock, & trying to make a baby fit into an aleady full life (well if it doesn’t happen in the next 2 months, we’ll have to wait 4 months because I don’t want to look like a cow for __________)
  1. More pre-marital partners, increasing the chances of a clinically silent chlamydial or gonorrheal infection. Men usually get a drip to warn them when they are infected; women often get no symptoms whatsoever. The first indication of problems is that the fallopian tubes are scarred & closed so that even if a sperm gets through to fertilize an egg, the fertilized egg isn’t getting back to the uterus. Usually these fertilized eggs die & get reabsorbed over time; sometimes, though they implant somewhere else - in the tube, in the ovary, in the peritoneal (abdominal) cavity & begin to develop. This is called an ectopic (abnormally located) pregnancy. Usually they abort/rupture between about 2 & 3 months gestation & surgery is necessary to prevent the mother from dying from hemorrhage, or peritonitis. Often the surgery includes removal of the ovary & tube on the involved side; rarely all reproductive organs have to be removed.

Ladies, if you are sexually active & not in a monogamous relationship you expect to be lifelong, get your yearly exams & tell your doctor. A culture can find an infection before damage is permanant, and a simple course of antibiotics can prevent a whole lot of heartbreak.

Sue from El Paso

Might be true for some women, but I bet that’s more the exception than the rule.

In fact, I know one woman who was told she would NEVER conceive . . . of course, she turned up pregnant. (And boy, was she surprised!)Who says this isn’t the age of miracles?

I know a woman who had, let’s see . . . a condom baby . … a foam baby . . .a diaphragm baby. She had 3 children BEFORE she started using birth control. Only reason she didn’t have a pill baby was that it wasn’t available then. Just one of those deals where two incredibly fertile people got together and sperm and egg could not be kept apart.

I know another woman who was on the pill AND her boyfriend used a condom. They gave the baby up for adoption.

Like so many other things in life, it’s not an either/or deal as much as it is a line . . . with the amazingly fecund on one end . … the completely infertile on the other . . . and everybody else scattered somewhere between the two end positions.

There probably are a few women out there that put that same proactive lets-get-the-job done mindset that’s worked for them in the corporate world to pregnancy, but by and large I would disagree that these are the women that wind up in fertility clnics. Fertility clinics won’t even talk to couples that haven’t been trying (and working it, charting cycles and etc.) for at least a year.

There are a lot more options out there for the infertile, but you still have a ways to go before you get to that place.

Some couples have a lot of pressure on them to conceive and that can affect matters greatly. From your folks yammering at you about giving 'em grandchildren to your to the “competition” as your friends and siblings pop out babies of their own, everybody tends to get pushed into the salmon run of reproduction. Some people can respond under this pressure; others can’t. This includes men too; I’ve heard more than one unhappy husband complain about having to perform “on demand” and I’m sure that has as much of a negative effect as any women’s nervousness.

Guess it’s just human nature; we take something that should be as easy as falling off a log and make it too difficult to bear.

No pun intended.

your humble TubaDiva

TubaDiva said:

Well, our humble moderator, for one! :wink:

An article in The Onion which, sadly, didn’t make their archives:

“Miracle of Birth Happens for the 87,942,350,026th time”

Visit the Internet Stellar Database at www.stellar-database.com

I wonder if problems conceiving might be due to women being fashionably thin. Underweight individuals often have problems conceiving.