I was responding to comments from Johnny_Bravo, which I thought were a bit harsh to the OP, and their hypothetical example of the drunken abusive dad I thought was a little over the top:
I’m not trying to beat a dead horse by bringing this up again; I think Johnny_Bravo and I came to an understanding about our particular stances.
To you I’ll repeat what I’ve already said: yes, every child and every situation is different; we want to protect our children, but we need to prepare them, too. In your example, let’s say the child had chosen to read Sal and Gabi Break the Universe on his own, not knowing the plot point of the mother dying. One way or another, kids will confront trauma. My point is that we can’t protect children from everything, we can only do our best to guide and support them when they are exposed to trauma, both real and fictional. And sometimes, if introduced in the proper manner, with the proper environment and support, I think fictional trauma can help to inoculate against overwhelming real trauma down the road.
I agree, it’s a complicated issue that goes beyond the OP issue of whether or not sanitizing children’s entertainment is a good thing, and would probably make a good Great Debates topic.
Which is understandable. I, as a grown ass man, almost broke down in tears during Darth Vader’s death scene while watching the special edition of Return of the Jedi in 1997. My father had died late in 1996, and I sure wasn’t past the grieving stage at that point. I sure didn’t expect to have that reaction.
A year after my dad died, I completely broke down watching the Dr. Who Christmas special. My dad had introduced me to Dr. Who when I was little, and when the new series came out in 2005, I got to introduce it back to him. Not sure exactly what set me off, some combination of watching Dr. Who my dad would never see, and my first Chirstmas without him around, but it was just full-body sobs. I didn’t cry that hard when he actually died.
Anyway, I can’t see how you can call kids these days “soft.” My childhood was soft. I didn’t have to do active shooter drills. I didn’t have to deal with quarantine as a kid. I could go outside in the summer without choking on smoke from wildfires. I didn’t have a bunch of peers who were half-orphaned after one of their parents OD on opioids. I could go to college without accruing crippling debt, and could get a decent job with my degree when I graduated.
If my childhood had been half as hard as the one kids these days are dealing with, I’d have snapped in half.
I didn’t call them soft. And I really tried in the OP to make it clear I didn’t think kids today were weak, woke, or any other such nonsense. The truth is there are things I saw when I was very long that I wouldn’t let me kids watch.
A friend of ours, on watching Mulan (the animated, not the unnecessary live remake) noted that this was literally the first Disney movie he’d ever seen where there was an older woman who was both a) alive, and b) not evil. Two of them, actually, the mother and the grandmother. I had to admit he was right.
Walt-boy clearly had some mama issues.
As far as trauma from movies etc.: I remember being terrified to have my windowshade open at night after seeing War of the Worlds. Which my logical brain KNEW was fiction, but I was still twitchy about seeing the nighttime sky.
A girl I babysat, 11ish years younger than I am, was taken to see Jaws in the threater. She was 6. I tried suggesting to her parents that this was maybe not appropriate (as I’d seen it already), but her older siblings took her. She was mostly fine - one evening shortly after she kept pulling her feet up onto the couch yelling that Jaws was gonna get her. Aside from that, it seems to have done her no lasting harm (from nearly 50 years ago).
In general I’m inclined to agree with the OP. Fictional accounts of trauma can help children confront and navigate these issues in a safe way. However, kids develop at different rates and it’s important for both creators and parents to keep that in mind. If Disney is targeting a certain age group, and on the whole, that age group is not developmentally equipped to deal with Bambi’s Mom getting shot, then more power to Disney for making that choice. I’ve never actually seen Bambi so I can’t judge on that account.
Which was a bit of a tongue-in-cheek reply, at least the first sentence, but I do feel like kids today are often too insular these days; and they seem to often have an extended childhood that is going well into chronological adulthood. It’s not all the parent’s fault, or even mostly the parent’s fault; it’s a complicated situation. Part of it is the internet age that allows them social interaction without leaving their rooms.
And Miller is right, kids today do have to deal with much more difficult and dangerous situations in certain ways. I don’t know all the answers, all I know is that we protect our kids as much as we can, where and when it’s appropriate, and try to prepare them for what we can’t protect them against.
We, as parents and caregivers have to make distinctions based on the child’s abilities and mindset.
I have 5yo grandchild that would not process Bambi too well. But her older sister loved it, at age 2 and 3.
Wizard of Oz gave nightmares to two brawny grandsons. For about a week. Then they wanted to watch again seeing it advertised. Mom vetoed it. I was willing to make the popcorn and sit with them spouting my trivia knowledge of the movie. No, she said.
My oldest son lapped up horror flicks, as a youngun. Worried the heck outta me. But he just loved it. I got the same vibe from him when he was so into The Walking Dead. He’s a big grown up man. Marine and combat veteran. So I try to let it go.
It’s all relative.
Apply the ages, demeanor, ability to understand and process and you’ll do okay.
ETA: plopping your kid, alone in front of the TV with endless Disney and cartoons don’t count, folks. Be there, and be ready to explain.