I have this problem constanly, and my wife (who is a teacher) has it ten-fold, due to some unusually gullible people she works with. She stays with the 1a response pretty continuously. I usually go for a gentle breaching of the subject like this:
Some Plebe: “Hey Slacker have you heard that the Mormons own Coca-Cola?”
Slacker: “Wrong.”
There exists no data that suggests otherwise. I bet with the properly worded grant application, you could get some government money to aid your continued fight against ignorance of all kinds.
I aim to please. Thank you for the compliment!
I’m not certain, but I think there’s a sort of paradox in that statement somewhere…
and, yes, killing said ‘Phil’ would be bad - who the hell would we get our tech support from???
I dunno. I kinda worry that if I sent in a grant application with the words “wish to study the effects of goat copulation on ignorance” I’d get arrested.
ohh… right after i saw the OP, i was planning on doing what JC did, though less eloquently.
oh well.
john, i must say…
LOVED IT!
LOVED IT!
LOVED IT!
LOVED IT!
LOVED IT!
you are perfection! you are great! you did exactly what i planned to do so i must praise you or cause my shrivled ego to decay yet farther!
and, here’s how the grant should probably be worded…
inductment;
to study the effects of sexual deviancy on the induction/expulsion of human ignorance and stupidity, objectively judged by third party observers.
resourses requested;
free licence to survey for appropriate volunteers for testing/ third party observers/judging.
fifty (50) notebooks, “Mead” seventy (70) sheets, wide ruled
fifty (50) “PenTel” mechanical pencils, .5mm leads.
twenty-five (25) bottles “jack daniel’s 7 year whiskey”
three-hundred (300) feet of rope, hemp tricross braided.
twenty (20) feet rubberfoam insulating pad
three (3) IKEA foux mahogany tables
twenty (20) tubes “KY jelly”
three (3) goats, bull, age three years
$$$cash$$$
so, using that application, i would grab people off the street and get them really drunk until they consent. then I have them tied to a table and lubed up. then i let loose the goats.
during this process i have other people i grabbed off the street standing by with notebooks and pencils, prepared to write down anything stupid seeming, devided into before and after columns, each further devided into drunk-before and drunk-after columns.
with these resources, we can determine the exact teperament adjustment properties of forced anal bestiality!
well, that and the determination of just how big perverts the researchers are, by combinig alcohol, “KY”, and goats.