I am so damned tired of getting e-mail hoxes forwardedto me …Now I’m getting mean and saracastic in my responses…other than pointing the guilty parties to the snopes site…any suggestions?
A friend of mine DID forward this to me…maybe I should use this a boilerplate reply…
Dear Kind Stranger,
I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I
can’t.
She is crying. Don’t cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad, but she says it’s not
my fault. I asked her if it was God’s fault, but she didn’t answer, and
only started crying harder, so I don’t ask her that anymore.
The reason she is so sad is that I’m so sick. I was born without a body. It
doesn’t hurt, except when I go to sleep. The doctors gave me an artificial
body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was
the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance. I
would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money.
Mommy doesn’t work because she said employers don’t hire crying people.
I said, “Don’t cry, Mommy,” and she hugged my burlap body. Mommy always
gives me hugs, even though she’s allergic to burlap, and it chafes her real
bad.
I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this e-mail. Dr.
Johansen said if you forward this e-mail then Bill Gates will team up with
AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the astronauts will collect prayers
from schoolchildren all over America and take them up to space so that the
angels can hear them better.
Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe just use my lungs
and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors said that every time you
forward this letter, the astronauts can take another prayer to the angels.
Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don’t want my leaves
to rot before I turn 10. If you don’t forward this e-mail, that’s OK. Mommy
says you’re a mean heartless jerk who doesn’t care about a poor little boy
with only a head. She says that if you don’t stew in the raw pit of your
own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long, slow horrible death so
you can burn forever in hell. What kind of person are you that you can’t
take five minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel
guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a poor,
bodiless 9-year-old boy?
Please help me. This really sucks. I try to be happy but it’s hard.
I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.
Thank You.
Billy ‘Smiles’ Evans,
The boy with just a head.
And a burlap sack for a body.
Obviously the c in rap
is silent
Dwyer-Land