If you only knew the POWER …
A speeder bike scene that didn’t feel tacked on, and actually had reasonable motivation.
Let’s see:
[ol]
[li]No Ewoks - Are 1980s hell monsters along the lines of Gremlins who sap any film of intelligence and quality[/li][li]Have some ask “Won’t destroying the Death Star in orbit end all life on this moon?” - You know, have someone with a brain in the film.[/li][li]Have the Emperor have a “Plan B” for Death Star - Like Peter Griffin stated " We already didthis. That’s the really f8cked up part.) Something in case rehashing the already failed Death Star failed again.[/li][li]Place more obstacles in the protagonist’s path - Luke Skywalker basically phoned in his role in Jedi. Nothing of any consequence happened to slow or prevent the ending.[/li][li]More sex - Hell, ANY sex.[/li][li]More minorities - The Star Wars universe was a touch too “monochromatic.” Making it more diverse would make it better.[/li][/ol]
Not only did she die before The Empire Strikes Back came out, she didn’t actually contribute anything to the final film, her entire script was rewritten. Her credit was in respect to her memory. It’s all in the Making of ESB book by J. W. Rinzler.
This is not the thread you’re looking for. Move along.
First, Return of the Jedi did not suck. As a kid in 1983, it gave me everything I could have asked for.
Now as an adult, some of it doesn’t hold up as well, although it’s still really good. Keep the plot mostly the same, but have Wookies instead of Ewoks as another poster said. Also, Boba Fett deserved better. Plus, they probably should have killed off a major character(supposedly Han was supposed to get it but that got nixed). the victory was basically costless for the main characters of the Rebel Alliance.
But I can’t really second guess Lucas on the original trilogy. He knew who the fanbase was and he catered to it perfectly. Where he went wrong was in failing to recognize for the original trilogy that his fanbase was now in its 20s and 30s.
Right. And J.W. Rinzler, writing the officially authorized history of LucasFilms productions in a book series published by LucasBooks, is an unbiased authority on how much George Lucas contributed to the movie.
George is the one who gave her the credit he thought she deserved, often enough that people think she wrote the movie, when she only wrote the first rejected draft. Correcting that isn’t something George would’ve necessarily wanted anyone to know, yet that is what was discovered during the research for the book. It’s really a warts-and-all detailed version of events, I see no reason to disbelieve it.
I wouldn’t change a lot. Luke and Boba Fett have a knock-down fight during the Jabba desert sequence. Boba into the Sarlacc pit? Sure, but not after some old-school free-wheeling brawling.
The big menace is… another Death Star? Yawn. Spend a little money, George, and give us something bigger and scarier. After all, you are the amazing creative genius behind it all, right? Get to work.
Uh oh, it’s those Imperial guys in red robes who look so impressive! Turns out they ARE impressive and it’s time for another lightsaber fight involving something awesome that Luke’s robot hand does. You’ve got a robot hand, why not go for the extra attachments? Think of the resale value.
Okay, fine, have your Ewoks. Dial the “cute” back five or six notches, lose the singing.
Shooting lightning out of your hands… that’s your big climax move? Shooting lightning out of your hands? At what point did you just give up, George? Come on, give us something we haven’t seen every magical bad guy do.
WE SHOULD NEVER SEE DARTH VADER’S FACE. Like Dr. Doom, it should be left to the imagination. Particularly if what’s under there is a puffy old white guy.
Look at that, the Empire is beaten, goodness rules the galaxy. Or does it? Cue swirling dust and setting suns as Luke Skywalker sets out to walk the solar systems like Caine in Kung Fu, bringing hope to the hopeless. Suddenly it’s all on Leia to step up to galactic administration, to Han Solo to bathe regularly and learn “please” and “thank you”, and in general the REAL struggle begins. Cue music.
Remember, R2D2 can fly, work that in somewhere, maybe.
Anything to make the stormtroopers look like the badass soldiers that they are supposed to be, not the bumbling buffoons in ROTJ.
Get rid of the teddy bear planet.
These rewrite suggestions aren’t actually going to be implemented, you know. You can still pop in your DVD and sing along with “Yub Nub” to your heart’s content.
Ignoring the relative merits of ROTJ, I’m pretty sure that “a financial and critical success” and “sucking” are mutually exclusive.
I’ve seen way too many award winning, box office busting movies that sucked gigantic donkey balls for that to be true.
One thing I like about the scenario upthread is that it points to a continuation of the saga. I like the idea of having Luke’s kid defeat the empire.
OBTW: Luke and Leia don’t have to be brother and sister, given Parts 4 and 5. That was just a way of avoiding the introduction of another romantic lead for Luke. Heck, up to that point Darth didn’t even have to be Luke’s father - it could have been a mind game he was playing. Though I’d keep that part: “Luke: I’m your father”, was good film making.
The Ewoks were patterned after the Vietnamese, who used primitive technology to defeat the US. Except the Vietnamese didn’t do anything like that, and the suggestion is frankly insulting. If you want to keep the same theme, pattern it after the Serbs during the Kosovo War. The Serbs took down a US B2 plane with a far lower level of technology plus good intelligence and ingenuity. That might fly. Bonus points if the SerboWoks understand that gimmicks only work once (but firepower is forever).
Actually though I didn’t think RoTJ was bad on a first viewing. Entertaining, not great, worth discussing with my friends. A bit disappointing given expectations, but that’s typical. It’s just that the Ewoks were the most idiotically memorable aspect of the film. Hey, at least Jar Jar didn’t make an appearance.
Oh yeah: At the time of New Hope, some of the biggest buzz was about the bar scene. A space-faring universe with many thinking and trading species captures the imagination. That aspect was never recaptured in later works.
And!
Wookies would have made fine SerboWoks. As another poster points out in another thread, people emigrate from primitive societies all the time. Furthermore, it hasn’t been unusual for primitive societies to provide a component of long distance trade partnerships.
If you want teddy bears in the film for marketing purposes (and frankly that’s a good idea monetarily) make them disgruntled imperial cooks or something.
One thing to bear in mind in these suggestions: Star Wars was the Saturday Matinee Swashbuckling Space Opera for Kids writ large. Heroes and Villains alike are larger than life, and hammy enoughto be an entire herd of pigs.
It’s perfectly in keeping with that theme that The Empire goes back for Death Star 2.0. The villain’s super-weapon is defeated in Ep. IV? Well guess what: it’s back, bigger and badder in Ep. VI!
Vader as Luke’s father is also in keeping with the melodrama of those Saturday morning serials; it was just Obi-Wan’s (George Lucas’) clunky “point-of-view” hand-wave that fell flat. I like the “Sorry I lied kid, but I didn’t think you were ready for the truth” expalantion’ it works a lot better for me.
And, Vader’s redemption and unmasking (symbolically shedding his evil man/machine persona and again becoming human) is also a good scene/plot device, since it also confirm’s the hero’s “good-triumphs-over-evil” convictions
What I would change is the encounter between the Ewoks,Chewbacca, Han, Luke Leia, R2D2 and C3P0. I would have Chewbacca receive friendly treatment from the Ewoks and have Leia be treated with suspicion and be put inline for the roast along with Han and Luke. I understand the Ewoks being akin to vietcong but always felt the script went out of their way to make friends out of Leia and the Ewoks.
Chewbacca and the Ewoks engaging in guerilla warfare against the imperial troops would make a better plot. Since most imperial troops were human (despite being clones), it would make more sense in my opinion for Leia and the other humans to be treated the same way when captured by the Ewoks.
Would also have hilarious memes of whether chewbacca would indulge in a feast of his former human comrades.
Make Darth Vader Luke’s much older brother. He lied about being Luke’s father, and he’s still Luke’s dark shadow (hence the vision Luke has in Empire), but it makes Obi-Wan not a liar. Drop the Leia-sister thing. Leia still ends up with Han, but for character reasons, not because of this last-minute sister thing.
Since it (could have been) the last SW movie, I’d have every character, living or dead, come out at the end for a big song and dance number. That would be AWESOME!