Finish the Hardboiled Detective story: "A Beautiful Corpse"

I pulled my arm back and snapped, “How did you even get in the joint, anyway, Marvin?”

He let go at once and looked even more hangdog than usual. “I… I told the doorman I was a friend of yours.”

I wasn’t feeling too charitable, I admit, but even so I bit my tongue before saying, “Well, you’re here now, so out with it. What was so important you had to see me right away?” I saw that Mr. Strauss had reached the table, grabbed David himself, and with Mickey’s help was leading him away. I couldn’t hear what anyone was saying in all the hubbub. In disgust, I spun back to Marvin.

“That partial number…” he stammered.

“Yeah? Spit it out.”

“There are only four numbers in the city that it might be, given the exchange. Three of them haven’t been in service for more than a month.”

“And the fourth?” I made eye contact with Linda, who gave me a brave smile and a thumbs-up, indicating that she and Mrs. Wolfe were OK.

“It’s right here in this building,” H. Marvin Blenkinsop gulped. “Our records show it’s a private line, upstairs.”

Jesus, Joseph and Mary. What had I gotten myself into…?

While Strauss was occupied, I decided now was a good time to make a discreet exit. I jerked my head to the door and Linda and Mrs. Wolfe slipped out of their seats. To my surprise Bruiser followed. Marvin and I headed out.

We escaped through the crowd and turned the corner so we were out of sight from the bouncer at the door.

“Okay, I’ve had it,” I said, rubbing my face with my palms. “I didn’t get the best of sleep last night, I’ve been running all over hell’s half acre today, and it’s still hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk.”

Mrs. Wolfe looked shocked at my obscenity, but I wasn’t playing her game anymore. "We’re going back to the docks, " I said. “Except for the hookers, we shouldn’t be bothered. I want some answers and I want them now.”

“I really should be getting back to my hotel,” Mrs. Wolfe protested. “I have funeral plans to make, I must call my parents…”

“Quit it, Violet,” Linda said. “I saw your tattoo in the bathroom. Are you blackmailing David Strauss or are you really in love with the guy? And how did you get your sister killed in your place?”

Now that the cat was out of the bag, Violet turned white, then with a ladylike air, turned and vomited against the side of the building. “Still pregnant too, I see,” Linda observed.

“Joe, we really have to go,” Marvin said nervously. I agreed we were too close to the Owl Club for comfort and we headed for my car.

A police siren caught my attention, and to my dismay, it pulled up right next to us and Faraday got out of the car. “I need you all to come down to the police station for questioning.”

“Are we under arrest?” Bruiser asked, pulling himself up to his full height, which is quite substantial.

“You will be if you don’t come with me.”

Violet turned and vomited again. Unless something happened in the next few minutes, this case was going to be taken out of my hands.

“Oh, no, they won’t. You leave them be.” We all turned to see who was talking. It was some guy in a grey suit, looking mighty uncomfortable.

“Who are you to give me orders?” demanded a flustered Faraday.

The man in the suit walked up to our little group and tossed a badge to Faraday. “Douglas Murphy, FBI.” The Feds? My heart just sank a foot lower. “I’ve been trying to have a word with that gumshoe all day. You are not going to take him from me. Not now.”

Faraday sighed and tossed the badge back to Murphy. “Okay. You can have Maynard, but the rest come with me.”

Murphy looked us over. “No, that won’t do. Seems to be something bigger than an old grifting case going on.” Hmm…Murphy wanted to talk about grifting? I hadn’t worked one of those in a while. At least he didn’t know about the murder.

“Okay, okay. I know better than to argue with the Feds.” Faraday climbed into his Ford and sped off.

I looked Murphy in the eye. “You say you been looking for me all day?” Murphy nodded, then turned away, as if looking for someone. “You wouldn’t happen to drive a blue Packard?”

“Not exactly.”

“Hey,” prompted Linda, “don’t you guys usually travel in pairs?” Both our questions were answered when a blue Plymouth pulled up where Faraday had been.

Murphy turned back to us. “I call it a ‘Plackard’," he grinned. It really did look like a Packard from the front! The Plackard’s driver rolled down his window. “Mr. Maynard, I believe you know Agent O’Connor?”

I sure did know Jack O’Connor, helped him bust a big-time grifter back when he was a local cop.

Murphy held open the back door to the Plackard. “Ladies first,” he said. He grinned and pointed at Bruiser. “You first, ma’am.”

Bruiser shot Murphy a dirty look and twitched the lapels of his jacket before climbing into the car.

Linda grabbed Violet by the elbow and steered her toward the Plackard, despite her muffled protests that she was going to throw up again if Linda didn’t stop pushing her around.

“Save it, sister. You haven’t got anything left to toss. Now, move.” Linda shoved her into the backseat.

I slid in behind them and greeted Agent O’Connor. Christ, but was it good to see him again.

“Hiya, Jack. How you been?”

Jack glanced in the rearview mirror and I could see the corners of his baby blues crinkle as he smiled. Murphy slammed the door behind me, walked around to the trunk and started to riffle around.

“Can’t complain, Joe, can’t complain.”

“How’s Maggie? And your little girl?” Back when we were working that grifter, Jack used to invite me and Angie to his place for a home-cooked meal with his wife and daughter. Maggie O’Connor could do things to a pot roast that would make a Catholic think hard about embracing a life of sin just to eat it on Friday night.

“Both of them are bossy as ever and getting prettier every day. How’s your Angela?”

“We split, Jack. She got so pretty towards the end that I wasn’t the only one that noticed.”

He met my eyes in the rearview. “I’m sorry to hear that, Joe.”

Murphy opened the door to the passenger seat and climbed in. He looked over the seat into the back, staring hard at Violet, who was whimpering.

“You urp in my car, lady, and the federal government will be the least of your worries.” He turned to his gaze on the rest of us. “Y’all snug back there?”

Four of us in the back was a tight fit. Bruisers shoulders were up tight against the door on the other side, and the girls were squeezed in between us.

“As bugs in a rug,” Linda replied. “You mind telling us what’s going on here, Agent Murphy?”

Murphy waved a hand towards Jack, who started the car and shifted into reverse. He backed across the street and then turned in the direction he had come from.

“I’ll tell you all in just a moment, miss.” The twang that had been present in his voice earlier deepened and one eye twitched in what could be called a wink if you looked hard enough. “And you can call me Doug, Miss . . . ?”

Christ on a cracker, a flirtatious Texan. And he was twitching at my secretary. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Bruiser tense and glower thunderclouds at the back of Murphy’s head. I guess he couldn’t see the bright side of having Linda along, like having a fed warm up to her right off the bat.

“Her name’s Linda. You can call her Miss St. James,” I interjected.

“Mr. Maynard,” Murphy said, drawing something out of his coat and handing it over the back of the seat. “I think you might find this useful.”

It was my Bledsoe, safe and sound as I left it.

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” I shoved the revolver back in my shoulder holster. “I’d appreciate knowing the story here, too.”

“I think we all would,” Bruiser chimed in.

Violet moaned and clapped her hand over her mouth.

“He meant what he said about yakking in the backseat, Miss Collins,” Jack warned from the front. He pulled the car smoothly around a sharp corner.

Murphy ignored Violet’s theatrics. “I’ll tell you what’s going on as soon as we get where we’re going.”

We traveled in silence in the direction of the docks, whipping past businesses that were dark at this time of night. Here and there a square of yellow light showed rooms where folks were still hard at work or just getting home to their apartments. I would have given anything to be back at the office, curled up in my Murphy bed with a pint of Old Rotgut and the evening paper. Or at Bruiser’s diner, sipping on a bottomless cup of java and shooting the breeze with that pretty waitress who worked the graveyard shift. What was her name again? Jessica or Juniper or something like that.

Beside me, Linda snorted and then giggled nervously.

“What’s with you?” I whispered hoarsely.
“I was just thinking,” she answered, her eyes shining as we passed under a streetlight, “that I should have listened to my mother and taken that job at the banker’s office. Then I’d be in bed already and only dreaming of these sorts of hijinks.”

“You’d be bored as hell, too,” I pointed out.

“That too,” she agreed.

Jack pulled up in front of a warehouse with a broken yard light over the loading doors. The water in the bay was slapping rhythmically against the pilings, and the entire place stank of dead fish and wet rope. Fog was beginning to move in off the bay. Pretty soon we’d be lucky to see our hands in front of our faces.

A lighter flared off to the side of the car, and I briefly saw a pencil thin mustache and the brim of a dark homburg. The tip of a lit cigarette glowed red in the night.

“What’s the news, Dougie?” A voice with an unmistakable upper class British accent came from the general vicinity of the glowing cigarette tip.

“Haven’t got any yet,” Murphy replied tersely. “The gang in the warehouse?”

The voice tittered. “The gang. How droll. You Americans and your slang.” The mysterious man paused as he took a drag off his cigarette, making the tip flicker. “Yes, they’re in there.”

Murphy stifled a curse. “If you weren’t so useful, you’d be damned annoying, Thompson.” He shot a glance into backseat. “Begging your pardon, ladies. Maynard, Miss St. James, Miss Collins, Mr. d’Abruzzo, I don’t believe you’ve met –“

The man tossed his cigarette to the ground and shoved his hand in the window. “Horatio Michael Stephen James Thompson. Charmed.”

Thompson gave us all the glad hand as Jack spilled the beans. “Remember how we knew Ziggy must’ve had a partner?”

“Yeah, but we could only get dirt on Ziggy himself.”

“Until now. An old associate of Ziggy’s turned up in Joliet and I got some friends out there to lean on him; gave up a name in exchange for better treatment.”

“Well?”

“Douglas Firth. Fled the country after Ziggy was booked.”

“Lemme guess,” said Bruiser. “He’s been living in England.”

“Precisely,” answered Thompson.

“We believe ‘Firth’ is an alias, though,” said Murphy.

Linda giggled a bit again. “Yeah, sounds like a tree!” Then she looked at Miss Collins. “Wait a minute…”

“Hold that thought, Miss,” FBI Special Agent O’Connor said. “Joe, come inside with me, please. Agent Murphy, please keep these other fine folks company in the conference room. Coffee and danish all around.”

“You got it.”

We went inside, and I saw that the G-men had been busy. Very busy. Although still rusty and run-down outside, the warehouse had been cleaned inside until it shone. A half-dozen black Packards were parked inside, being swarmed over by another dozen agents. Others were cleaning Tommy guns, checking boxes of handcuffs or reviewing documents from what looked like armored filing cabinets. A long row of cots and a small Army field kitchen in the corner made it clear that this was their home base for a major operation. The offices of what must’ve been a defunct shipping line had been spiffed up and were now filled with a swarm of senior FBI men, attended by a bevy of no-nonsense secretaries. Telephones rang and typewriters rattled away.

Even I was a little impressed. The Feds, they don’t screw around, and they had money to burn. Hardly surprising, I suppose, since they printed it all.

Murphy led the others to a conference room dominated by pictures of President Roosevelt and J. Edgar Hoover, while O’Connor took me down the row to his own office. He offered me a cigarette, lit it and sat down opposite me, looking at me speculatively. “You’ve been a busy guy, Joe. And on a Sunday, no less!”

“Tell me about it,” I said, stifling a yawn. The cigarette tasted good but what I really needed was a good night’s sleep.

He snapped his fingers, reached in his coat pocket and tossed me my P.I. badge. “Forgot to give you this earlier.”

“Thanks.” I looked at it, and realized where I’d seen it last. “Who do you have inside the Owl Club?”

“No comment. Y’know, Joe, you showed in the Ziggy, er, Zigowski case what a talent you have for sticking your nose into places it shouldn’t be…”

“Thanks, I think,” I murmured.

“…so I guess I’m not too surprised that you’ve gotten mixed up in the Violet Collins murder.”

“To hear Linda tell it, she wasn’t murdered. She’s sitting in your conference room right this minute.”

“Yeah?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Tell me more.”

So I did, at least to the extent that I understood it. I know a good cop when I see one, and O’Connor was one, through and through. Even Herman Strauss hadn’t gotten his clutches on the FBI yet. I had my doubts about Faraday and his erstwhile ACPD colleagues in blue, but deep down I was relieved that the Bureau was involved. It felt a little like the cavalry had arrived.

O’Connor listened as I yammered on and on, asking an occasional question but otherwise just nodding and taking it all in. I went through a few more cigarettes and the ashtray was getting full by the time I wound down.

He took a deep breath. “That’s interesting, Joe. And very helpful.”

“Well, good, because I have a few questions of my own.”

He grinned. “I’d have been disappointed if you didn’t.”

“What’s Thompson’s role in all this?”

He stared up at the ceiling for a minute, then shrugged. “Sure, why not? He’s with MI-5, the British security service. Kind of a playboy counterspy, in a way. Comes across as a Limey fruit, but he’s rock solid. He’s looking into whether there were any crimes committed on British shipping, by Firth or anyone else.”

That seemed a little weird, but OK. “And Strauss? You wouldn’t need all of those agents and all of those Gats and cars if you didn’t have something big planned.”

He nodded. “Mr. Hoover has taken a personal interest in Mr. Strauss and his… activities here in Adams City. We’re going to take him down, Joe, and it’s going to happen soon. Depending on how much I can find out about Violet Collins, or Rose Wolfe, it could be as early as tomorrow morning.”

“And Dr. Wells? And David Strauss?”

“Don’t have much more to add to what you’ve already told me. Wells is dead, probably at Strauss Junior’s hand, I figure, and both Strausses probably can look forward to adjoining cells at Alcatraz. Maybe a cupcake on Father’s Day.”

I nodded and sat back in my chair. I liked where things were headed. Just as I was about to take my leave, O’Connor buzzed on the intercom. A dark-suited agent even bigger than Strauss’s goons came into the office.

“Take Mr. Maynard and his friends to our safe house,” O’Connor said. “Take good care of them until I call.”

“I want to go home,” I protested. “I’ve told you everything I know.”

“I know you have, Joe, and the Bureau appreciates it. But there’s a lot going on here, and I don’t want word getting back to Strauss - even accidentally. Relax and enjoy the ride.”

I could see reality staring me in the face as well as anybody. It looked like we were going to be enjoying Uncle Sam’s hospitality at least until the morning.

The safe house turned out to be just south of the city, on a hill overlooking Haven Bridge. The area had been a tobacco plantation a hundred years ago but summer storms and blight had taken their toll. The town of Haven sprung up as bits and pieces were sold off from the estate. Our house for the night wasn’t much to look at, which makes sense; a safe house that stood out wouldn’t be very safe.

As we settled in, Linda prodded Violet. “One thing I gotta know. This guy who sounds like a tree, would he be related to you and your flowery sisters?”

Violet was perched on the very edge of the settee. Linda was sitting at the other end of it, slouched down in the corner with her arms folded over chest and one foot tapping ill-naturedly on the floor. Bruiser had his shoulder against the window frame next to the settee, looking like a cat with a kink in its tail. I suppose it hadn’t been a good night for them, either.

“Well, do you know him or not?” Linda repeated her question forcefully.

Violet glared at Linda, an injured look on her face. Her lower lip trembled beautifully – like one of those fancy French desserts at Gascoigne’s.

“I’ve never even heard of him before. My mother loved flowers; that’s the only reason my sister and I are named like we are.” Violet’s gaze darted from face to distrustful face. “It’s the truth! You gotta believe me.”

“Sweetheart,” I said, crouching down in front her, “you’ve fed us one line after another. You’ve been lying to Mr. d’Abruzzo over there from the start. How can we believe you after all that?”

She toyed with the collar of her jacket, rubbing the velvet between her fingers and occasionally brushing her throat with her fingertips. Her neck was starting to bruise from where David Strauss had tried to strangle her back at The Owl Club.

“I’m ready to talk, Mr. Maynard,” she said. Her voice wavered like a drunk at bar time on Friday night. “Rose is dead and David wants me with her. I don’t owe him a thing.”

I got up and sat down in the armchair across from them with a sigh. The springs in the chair were bad and screeched in protest. I dug my notebook out of my inside jacket pocket and flipped it open.

“Why don’t you go ahead and start by telling us what was going on between you and David Strauss.”

She laughed unhappily. “I didn’t suppose you wanted to start with anything easy. I met David at The Owl Club when I started working as a cigarette girl. He said such pretty things to me -– oh, you’re too beautiful to be selling cigars, you ought to be some rich man’s wife, blah blah blah. I guess I started to believe him.” She looked very sad for a moment, then smiled cynically. "It wasn’t easy for him, though. He must have bought nearly two hundred dollars worth of tobacco before I gave in.

“One night I was working, and some dirty old man got handsy with me. David had him thrown out and blacklisted him at the club. When my shift was done, David said he was going to take me home, and wouldn’t let me say no. He left my place the next morning and said he’d take me home again that night. And I let him. I was crazy in love.”

Violet fumbled in her handbag and brought out a cigarette case and a lighter. She tried to light the cigarette, but her hands were shaking so badly she couldn’t get the lighter to catch. I reached across the coffee table between us and lit it for her. She smiled her thanks.

“How long did the, ah, arrangement between yourself and David Strauss last?” I asked, slipping my lighter back in my jacket.

She took a drag off the cigarette. “Until a few weeks ago, so nearly a year.”

Linda snorted. “Well, that’s a new record for Strauss the Younger, right there.”

“It would have lasted longer, too, but his fiancée found out about us and told him to get rid of me or the wedding was off.” Violet tapped the ash off the end of her cigarette. “I know he never would have married me, but I thought we might have kept what we had going, even after he married her.”

“What made you think that?” Linda inquired, surprise written on her face like bad poetry on a Burma-Shave sign.

“David doesn’t like Miss Dalton very much. She’s a good girl, and David doesn’t really like good girls unless he’s going to turn them bad. He does, however, love her money. And with all that money, I thought he might be able to afford to keep me on the side.” She smiled out of one side of her mouth and shrugged. “He wouldn’t have been the first husband to do that.”

Like father, like son, I thought sourly.

“How does Dr. Wells come into all of this?”

That question obviously didn’t sit well with her. Violet started to tear up again. She stubbed out her cigarette and covered her eyes with both hands. Linda tugged a handkerchief out of her sleeve and passed it to her.

Violet blotted at her eyes and sniffed a few times. “Thanks,” she said to Linda. Taking a deep breath, she continued. "Not long after Lily Dalton put her foot down, I found out I had the Egyptian flu – "

“The Egyptian flu? How’s that?” I asked.

She smiled waterily. “In nine months I was going to be a mummy. Anyway, I thought that if David knew, he might change his mind. So I told him, and it didn’t go at all like I had expected. He was so angry. It frightened me; I’d never seen him like that before. He said if I didn’t go to Wells and have an abo–” She stumbled over the words. “He said if I didn’t have it taken care of, he’d beat me until it wasn’t an issue anymore. So I went to Wells.”

“But you didn’t go through with it. Why not?” I leaned back in my chair, prompting another shriek from the springs.

“The Strausses owe Dr. Wells big money. Not just because they send all David’s girls to him, but some business deal gone wrong.” She knotted the handkerchief up in her hands. “I didn’t mean to lie to Mr. d’Abruzzo, but Wells said if I helped him blackmail David and his father, he’d give me enough money to get away from Adams City and take care of me and the baby. I guess that won’t happen now, either.”

“But what about your sister?” Linda asked. “How’d she end up at the docks?”

“David used to have me run errands for him in the warehouse district. Dropping off messages, picking them up, carrying little packages. Those sorts of things. A couple of days after I saw Dr. Wells, David stopped by my apartment and asked me to carry one more message the next day, for old time’s sake. So I said yes.”

“That still doesn’t tell us where your sister comes in,” I pointed out.

Violet shook her head. “I guess I left that part out. Rose was visiting me that week, to go shopping in the city. She and Hank live in Gryton, and there’s not much for stores there. The day I was supposed to deliver the message, I wasn’t feeling so hot. I get pretty sick sometimes, what with the baby and all. I figured that since Rose and I look so much alike, nobody would notice if she was the one dropping off the message. It’s simple. I just drop off a note in the office at the warehouse. I never talked to anybody.”

The mention of the warehouse made me perk up my ears.

“Warehouse? What warehouse?”

“Usually Brooks Musical – you know the big one on Eisenhower? David collects rare musical instruments from Europe.” Her shoulders drooped. “My sister’s dead because of some antique lute.” She dropped her head and began to cry in earnest.

The clock on the mantle chimed the hour – two o’clock in the morning.

“I think that’s enough for one night.” Linda put an arm around Violet’s shoulders and made her stand. “I’m going to take Miss Collins upstairs and put her to bed, and then I think the rest of us should do the same.” She led the other woman out of the parlor.

“Well, what do you know,” I said, not really expecting a response from Bruiser.

“I knew Violet before all this happened,” he said, looking out the window like he had been during the entire interview. “Reminded me of my kid sister when she was that age. Crying shame Violet couldn’t have found a good man like Annamaria did and settled down.”

He shoved off the window frame. “I’m going to bed. Can’t imagine that those feds will let us sleep in tomorrow.” I followed him out the room.

Bruiser paused at the bottom of the stairs, one foot on the first step.

“Violet was a sweet kid before David Strauss got to her,” he said. “Those Strausses, they’re not good news, Joe.”

If that wasn’t the truth, I didn’t know what was, I thought as Bruiser finished climbing the stairs. It was an ill wind that blew nobody good, and the family Strauss was an entire hurricane of dirty deeds.

The next morning it was hot and muggy, but the mugginess had a smell to it that you knew it was going to rain cats and dogs later in the afternoon. Linda was up, and she was scrounging around the kitchen for our breakfast. Violet was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of joe and looking like she was trying not to be sick.

“So what’s the plan, boss?” Linda asked, dropping a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. Violet gave a funny little hiccup and ran out of the room.

“Simple, sweetheart,” I said. “We’re going to check out the Brooks Musical Warehouse. Something tells me David Strauss is not trying to get into the instrument import-export business.”

There was a knock at the kitchen door. I looked through the threadbare lace curtains to see Special Agent O’Connor standing there. He looked exhausted. He touched the brim of his fedora, and I let him in.

“Morning, Jack,” I said. “Hungry?”

“No, thanks,” he said, nodding a greeting to Linda and sitting down heavily at the kitchen table.

“Suit yourself.” I started shoveling my eggs and bacon in. “Why the long face, pal?”

“There’s been… a complication in the Strauss case. We’re not going to be able to move against him today. Maybe not for awhile yet.”

“What happened?” Linda asked, pouring herself a coffee.

He sighed. “Can’t say. But it was bad, and it was unexpected. Looks like you might have to stay here a few more days.”

“Like hell we will,” I said fiercely. “In case you forgot, I’ve got a detective agency to run. Some big cases underway right now. I’m not going to sit around cooling my heels while you get all your ducks in a row.”

O’Connor looked me in the eye. He seemed torn. “Well…” He pulled out a pack of coffin nails, offered them to Linda and me, and lit up. “I guess maybe I could let you go for now. But stay away from Strauss, both Strausses, and the Owl Club, you hear me? And keep everything you saw down at the docks under your hats.”

“I hear you. We’ll be quiet as churchmice.”

He puffed away in a desultory way. “And if you learn anything more about the Strausses, you’re going to tell me, right?”

I feigned shock. “Of course, Jack. You know I would.”

He seemed unconvinced, so Linda changed the subject. “What about Bruiser, and Miss Collins?”

Jack looked like he felt he had to take a stand. “Mr. d’Abruzzo and I need to have a nice long talk, so for now at least, he’s staying. Same with Miss Collins.”

“Not to mention the danger she’s probably in,” I said, nodding. “Probably better she keeps out of sight.”

“Good point. Yeah, that’s probably for the best. Where are they, anyway?”

“He’s still asleep upstairs, and she’s whopping her cookies in the bathroom,” Linda said.

I had the strangest feeling there was something else Jack wanted to tell me, but couldn’t. He looked at me strangely and said, “All right, you two, scoot. But keep in touch, all right?”

“Of course,” I said, grabbing my hat. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, I’m meeting a client in half an hour, and we have some errands to run.”

I got Linda out of there fast, before O’Connor could change his mind. Two G-men with bulges under their coats watched impassively as we walked down the narrow driveway to my jalopy, which miraculously started on the first try.

Linda said, puzzled, “I didn’t think he’d let us go that easily.” A dog barked somewhere in the distance.

“Ol’ Jack O’Connor knows we can do him more good out on the streets than holed up in a Bureau safe house. Even if he doesn’t know exactly where we’re going next.”

She smiled at me. “The Brooks Musical Warehouse?”

I smiled back and pulled out into the light morning traffic. “How lucky I am, Linda, to have a secretary who’s both beautiful and brilliant…”

“…but we can’t just waltz in there. We need a cover and help.”

“Broadway!”

“‘Broadway’? That’s clear on the other side of town! You feeling OK?”

Linda laughed. “Not that ‘Broadway’. You remember Danny Wood?”

“Oh, ‘Broadway’.” Daniel A. Wood, ‘Broadway Danny’, was a semi-retired song & dance man from New York. “I thought he went back home.”

“Well, his shop is still over on Buckner.”

The sign over the storefront on Buckner read Wood’s Wears. Two smaller signs near the door read Costumes for All Occasions and Tuxedo Rentals. A fourth sign read GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. A set of bells jingled over the whirring of fans as I opened the door for us.

Danny came from a back room at the sound of the bells, light on his feet as ever.

“Linda! Joe! Nice to see you.”

“Likewise,” I said.

Linda added, “Looks like you got plenty more snow on the roof.”

“Guess I do. Hard to make ends meet these days; being busy only a few months out of the year is no way to do business.”

“Yeah, we noticed your sign.”

I said, “There’s a rumor that you’re going back north.”

“Nope. West, thought I’d try Hollywood. Now, what brings you here? Surely not for one of my monkey suits.”

“We could use your acting ability to get us into a warehouse.”

“Ah, you need a distraction. Sure, I could use a break from packing.”

We headed over to the warehouse. I looked anxiously at the sky. It was getting that bruised look that meant it was going to rain, and rain hard, for quite awhile. The streets would be wet, and the fuzz would be busy with car accidents this afternoon.

Danny whistled as he pulled out his lockpicking kit. When he grabbed the doorknob of the Brooks Warehouse he frowned.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. He looked at me and twisted his wrist.

“It’s not locked.”

I sighed. That could not be good.

Danny came back to my jalopy. “Lets get out out of here,” he winked.

He rummaged around in his carpetbag as I drove up a block or so. From his carpet bag he pulled a ratty Army surplus raincoat along with a beat-up hat. After we stopped in front of another warehouse, he brought out some clear liquid in an unmarked bottle. He opened it as we got out; Linda caught a whiff and grabbed a handful of door to steady herself. “Whoo!”

Danny smiled. “Surely you didn’t think I stayed open this long just by renting monkey suits.” He took a couple of sips then passed the bottle to me. "Here, throw some on me, then wait.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had some shine, much less some as good as this smelled. “Mind if I take a swig first?” Danny shrugged as he put on his raincoat. I raised the bottle to my lips and let a bit of shine run down my gullet. Damn, it was good! “You made this?” I asked as I gave him and his coat a good dousing.

“Naw, I just sell it,” replied Danny as he mussed up his hair. “Made some friends in the business years ago while researching a role.” Then put on the hat, took the bottle, said “Showtime” with a little half smile, and staggered toward Brooks Musical.

“Shweet Adeline, my Adeline,” sang Danny as he swayed up the street and into the warehouse. “At night, dear heart, for you I pine. In all my dreamsh…oh, hello boysh!”

Me and Linda went up to the warehouse and watched the act through a dirty window, waiting for our cue.

“What have we here?” asked steve #1.

“Looks like a rummy,” said steve #2.

Danny protested, “I ain’t no rummy.” He pulled the bottle from his coat pocket and waved it around. “This be shine. Want some?”

“I haven’t seen such acting since the great Bernhardt herself,” came a voice from behind us.

Both Linda and I whirled around, my hand going to my shoulder holster and Linda’s into her handbag. She pulled out the little revolver she’d been so eager to flash around on the docks yesterday.

“And I thought you Americans were supposed to be easygoing,” said H.M.S. James Thompson, looking about as ruffled as the boat would at having two handguns drawn on her. He took a puff off his cigarette before dropping it to the ground and grinding it out with his heel.

“You’ve met Douglas Murphy and you think Americans are easygoing? Hell’s bells, Thompson, I’d never heard you limeys were stupid.” I shoved my Bledsoe back into its holster and gave him the stink eye. Linda was doing the same next to me. Thompson sneaking up on us had made her a little twitchy.

“What are you doing here?”

“There is a charming little Irish pub at the other end of the alley that serves the best shepherd’s pie I’ve had beyond fair Britannia’s shores. Of course,” he continued, smiling ruefully, “I’d prefer to frequent an English establishment, but one can’t be choosy so far from home.”

I waved off his babble. “No, no. What are you doing in this part of town? We’re miles from the G-men and the docks.”

“Ah, yes,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the alley wall. He looked faintly amused. “This may be your city, Mr. Maynard, but that is my warehouse.”

“Jesus – what?”

“Brooks Musical. I own it. I bought it last month and so far have turned a tidy profit in pianos, small organs, and saxophones. Accordions have proven surprisingly popular, but I think that will change in the new year.”

I was sorry I’d put the Bledsoe away. Every time I turned around since Bruiser called me yesterday morning, I’d found a surprise staring me in the face. This was one of the less pleasant ones, though none them had been exactly enjoyable. There weren’t any dead bodies or bullets flying, but I didn’t like the guy. I trusted him, but I didn’t like him. And now he owned Brooks Musical. Either it was a blessing or a curse, but I couldn’t figure out if this was going to help me out any more than a Mickey Finn too many on a Friday night date.

“Now what,” Thompson was saying, pointing at the window Linda and I had been looking through, “are we going to do about your friend? I’m assuming he is some person known to you.”

On the other side of the window, Broadway was bent over holding his nose while the first stevedore was rolling up his shirtsleeves and his buddy stood off to the side sipping appreciatively from Broadway’s bottle of shine.

“Yeah, he’s with us. Didn’t count on your goons beating up a drunk, though.”

“Poor Danny!” Linda said. Turning on Thompson, she shot her mouth off with the same fire that was known to get me to polish my shoes and toss my empties into the dumpster.

“You ought to employ a better kind of guy. It takes a real jerk to beat up someone as blotto as that.”

“Begging your pardon, Miss St. James, but one is caused to remark that perhaps a lady should associate with a better sort of --” He flicked his eyes toward me and the big baboon nearly laughed – “gentleman. Perhaps one who is in fact ‘blotto’ when he appears to be and doesn’t break into warehouses.”

“Now see here,“ Linda started, waving her index finger like some hopped-up schoolmarm.

“Poor Danny, my foot,” I broke in, watching the scuffle through the window. “He’s got a jaw like a brick wall. And I haven’t seen footwork like that since Bruiser fought that little guy with the gold teeth last spring. Whaddaya know.”

“Lemme see.” Linda pushed me aside to peer through the window. A few seconds later she winced. “The big guy just went down.”

Thompson, looking over her head, murmured, “Perhaps I ought to employ a better sort of flunky.”

Just then, the bottle of shine came rocketing toward the window. Thompson pulled Linda down and I followed them, but we all got covered in broken glass and then moonshine when the bottle shattered against the alley wall.

Rolling over to my back, I stared at the slice of gray sky at the top of the alley and wondered at the situation. Hell of a thing, watching a semi-retired tap-dancer beat the tar out of a pair of hired guns.

Next to me, Linda shoved Thompson off of her and pulled me to my feet. Together we ran around the corner of the warehouse to the front.

When we came through the street entrance, Danny was the only one standing, even if he was listing to one side like a car with a flat tire. He was holding his handkerchief to a cut on his cheekbone. His bottom lip was looking fat already, and he’d probably have a shiner the next day from the first shot to his nose. The two guys at his feet looked like they were in worse shape, though.

“You okay, Danny?” Linda asked.

“Yeah, I’ll live.” He sounded like he had sock stuffed up his nose. “That didn’t go down like I expected it to.”

“’S’all right. Turns out we know the guy who owns the place. Say, where’d you learn to fight like that?” I clapped him on the shoulder. He winced.

“I spent a lot of time in some pretty rough parts of town when I was a kid, Joe,” he answered.

Thompson appeared in the doorway, with a sour expression on his face and brushing glass off his coat. He looked around at the mess Broadway and the two thugs had made. Thompson kicked a chunk of packing crate and had his turn shooting us the stink eye.

“Well, now that you’ve destroyed my place of business, I suppose I ought to tell you whatever it is you came looking for,” he said. “You did, I assume, have a purpose for this mayhem?”

What a prick. It wasn’t like we ran over his dog or anything.

“We were hoping to find out something about David Strauss. Last time I checked, buying a fiddle or two wasn’t against the law. Sure, he treats his dames pretty bad, and he’s probably killed a couple people, but that ain’t nothing to involve the Feds in.”

“I see you are woefully uninformed,” Thompson replied. “However, I fail see why I should tell you anything.”

I toed one of the goons on the ground in the ribs. He moaned a little, but quieted back down.

“I might be able to find you some muscle that can stand up against a goddamn toe-twinkler,” I retorted. Glancing at Danny, I said, “No offense.”

“None taken, Joe,” he said easily.

“Or I could inform every thief in the city that Brooks Musical is currently short its only two guards,” I continued. “Your choice.”

Thompson stifled something that sounded like a curse.

“Very well,” he said.

At our feet, the smaller of the two goons was waking up.

“Ah, Mr. Higgins! I see you have decided to re-join the land of the living,” Thompson cried. “You and Mr. Showalter clear up the evidence of your fracas, and then go home. Your services will no longer be required.”

“But, boss –“ Higgins protested.

“No impertinence. I was obviously mistaken in employing you as a guard, as you were too intent on stealing liquor from a seemingly drunk man to attend to your duties. It might as well have been candy from a baby.” Thompson turned back to Linda, Danny and me. “I trust you are satisfied with this turn of events, Miss St. James?”

Linda, like a champ, said with a straight face, “I suppose it will have to do, Mr. Thompson.”

He raised one eyebrow.

“Indeed. You three follow me to my office, if you please.”

“If it’s all the same to you folks,” Danny said, “I’m going to head back to the shop and finish packing or take a rest or something. It got a steak in the fridge, and it’s calling my name.”

“Here, take the Model A,” I said, tossing him the keys. “I’ll pick it up when we’re done here.”

“Thanks, Joe. Nice seeing you again, Linda.” He nodded his farewell before limping through the door.

Thompson’s office was up a flight of stairs at the back of the warehouse. He took his seat behind the desk and waved Linda and me to chairs in front of it. The office wasn’t quite as lush as that of Strauss, Sr., but it was an improvement over my own. It was obvious, at least, that Thompson didn’t have to drip dry his socks and underwear over his garbage can.

“Just the three of us then,” he said in way of an opener. “How cozy.”

“Look, Thompson. Let’s cut the bullshit. Just tell us what we want to know and then we’ll get out your hair.”

“You Americans are so direct. No respect for the quieter aspects of business,” he murmured. Evidently he was feeling better after firing Higgins and Showalter.

“We’re not here for tea and sympathy,” Linda said.

“Hmm, no, I don’t suppose you would be. I haven’t had a decent cup of tea since I’ve been here. What can I tell you then?”

“What exactly are David Strauss and his father wanted for?” I asked. “I mean, they have the usual mob connections that anybody in the nightclub business around here has, and there are those unusual deaths, but the local fuzz take care of that. The Feds being here is kind of weird. And you being here is even weirder.”

Thompson laughed a little at that.

“It might be easier to make a list of what crimes the Strauss family hasn’t committed,” he said. “For example, as far as I am aware, they haven’t sold any white women into slavery or smuggled any non-indigenous wildlife into Australia. The international community takes a very dim view of such things.”

“White slavery or strange animals down under?”

“Ha-ha, very amusing, Mr. Maynard,” Thompson chortled. “Now, I’m afraid that I can’t tell you precisely why I am here, though I trust it will be clear by the time we’re done talking. Why don’t you take a look in that crate over there and tell me what you see.”

Thompson gestured in the direction of a shipping crate pushed against the wall to the right of his desk and under the only window. It had labels all over it in writing I hadn’t seen before in my life. It looked like the squiggles my kid brother used to make before he started school. Poor sap, his handwriting hadn’t improved much, but it was still more readable than the stuff scrawled across the case.

I got up to open it up and take a gander at whatever was in it. I couldn’t get the boards to budge, though. It was nailed tight.

“Hey, Linda, grab me that crowbar over there and give me hand.”

It took both of us to get the first slat of the crate up, and I was sweating a little by the time were done, but the rest of them came easy enough. Inside, there was a lot of wood shavings and sawdust. I scrabbled around in that, knocking some out of the crate and onto the floor.

“Have a care for the rug, if you please,” Thompson cautioned from his desk.

The slug – he hadn’t offered any help before. What did I care about his stupid carpet? It was the color of vomit, anyway. The sawdust belonged there.

My fingers hit something under the sawdust. It was cold and hard and smooth. I got a hold on it, and pulled it up into the light. In the large glass case that had emerged from the packing crate, there was a large musical instrument. It looked a lot like a guitar, but the neck pointed nearly straight back from belly of the thing.

“Oh, it’s beautiful,” Linda breathed next to my shoulder. She had a point. I didn’t care much for music, but I could appreciate a work of art when I saw one.

“It is, is it not, Miss St. James?” Thompson asked, joining us at the crate. He removed the glass case from my hands and held it reverently in front of him. “A 16th-century lute, if I’m not mistaken. The earlier ones usually have fewer courses, but this one has eight or ten, and so must be after the 15th century. The carving on the rose is a marvel not to be matched by modern luthiers.”

“I don’t get it,” I said. “Did Strauss steal this or something? Is it some country’s national treasure? Does it belong to your king?”

“Patience, Mr. Maynard,” Thompson responded. He set the glass case on his desk and flicked open the tiny hooks that held the back panel of glass in place. He took the lute out, and cradled it in his arms, one hand under the neck. He strummed his fingers across the strings. “It is so very beautiful that I very much regret what I am about to do.”

With a sudden twist of his hands, Thompson grabbed the lute with both hands by the neck and brought it down hard on the edge of the desk. The body cracked, and then broke open when he brought it down again. From the hole in the lute, little fabric bags fell out and landed on the carpet, giving out puffs of dust when they hit.

I picked up one of the bags from the floor and pulled at the string that tied it closed. It was filled with stuff that looked about the same as slightly gray powdered milk. I took a sniff – didn’t smell like powdered milk. Didn’t smell like much of anything. Figuring Linda could chew me out for it later, I took a pinch of it and put it on my tongue.

“Holy Mary, Mother of God!” I said, coughing. “That’s bitter.” I spit into the garbage can a couple times. “Got any water?”

Thompson tossed me a flask from the inside pocket of his sports coat. I took a swig out of it and found myself spitting into the garbage again.

“What hell is this stuff? It tastes like boiled grass.” I peered into the hole in the flask, trying to get an ID on whatever was in it.

“Cold tea, Mr. Maynard,” the limey bastard replied. “It is not my preference, but I understand it is quite popular in your southern states. It is also rather refreshing in the afternoon.”

“Forget all that,” Linda cut in. “What did you put in your mouth, Joe? I swear to God you’re no better than a dog sometimes.”

“Uncut heroin,” I said, after taking another tentative sip of the cold tea and swishing it around my mouth. It wasn’t bad when I wasn’t expecting whiskey.

“Heroin?” she repeated. “How does heroin get into something made in the 16th century?”

“Someone puts it there, of course,” Thompson said. He held up what was left of the lute and pointed to the medallion carved under the strings. “The suppliers in Burma slip the unfilled bags through the holes in the rose here, fill them up, and tie them off before letting them fall into the lute. We believe the heroin has its origins in China, but Burma does belong to the British, so it is of concern to our government.”

“There’s five grand of the stuff here easy,” I said, hefting the little cloth bag in my hand.

“I believe it’s actually closer to ten thousand American dollars, Mr. Maynard,” Thompson corrected. “And Herman and David Strauss have been distributing it in Adams City and beyond for quite some time now. This is, as I’m sure you know, illegal in your country, but shipping through several European countries as well as Great Britain has broken quite a few laws outside of your borders.”

“Is that why you’re here?” I asked. “To catch the bastards for that?”

“There’s also the matter of ten or so Renaissance and later musical instruments that have been destroyed to retrieve the illicit substance. These men may have been able to summon the funds to purchase these items, but as cultural artifacts they are priceless. It is a grave effrontery to Europe as a whole, not mention the academic community.” Thompson patted the busted lute on his desk like an old man patting his wife’s hand. “It is distasteful.”

“Er, yes.” What a nut bar. “So what happens now?”

Thompson settled back into the chair behind his desk. He rested one elbow on the armrest of his chair and leaned his head against his hand. He looked like goddamn Clark Gable, all weighed down with the injustice of the world. Even his mustache looked depressed.

“Now we wait for one of the family Strauss to make the next move.”

The rest of the night became a blur when I found my bootleg had been refilled. Danny must’ve done that when I wasn’t lookin’. T’weren’t no ordinary shine, neither. Naw, this was some high class homemade hooch and smooth as Linda’s legs.

I came to in the safe house with the sun beating on my mug and zombies beating out The Anvil Chorus in my noggin.