Data: Captain, the universe will begin collapsing in upon itself in 1.99999999999999999999999999999……
Picard: Two, Dater, the answer is two!
Data: Captain, you do not yet know what units I am using. The number of significant figures may still be relevant.
Picard: I am going to make you relevant with a soldering iron, Mr. Dater!
Riker: Captain, perhaps you should lie down in your ready room. You seem to be disturbed.
Troi: I sense someone bucking for a promotion.
Picard: Disturbed? You’re damn right I’m disturbed! (Gestures dramatically at view screen, like Horatio pointing to a bridge) People down there are killing and eating each other and the Prime Directive limits us to drinking this vile tea and scratching ourselves!
Wesley enters the bridge, kicking a soccer ball. He cracks the viewscreen.
Picard draws a phaser and shoots Wesley dead.
Picard: That cost me 1,500 credits!
Riker: Sir, may I remind you that we do not use money?
Picard shoots Riker dead.
Troi gestures to Worf, who approaches with a large butterfly net.
Chakotay mused over his situation.
Maybe if he left some Janeway/Seven slash outside her cabin door…His finger idly slipped over the RESET switch. Dammit
Troi senses Worf’s power and cries “Worf. I sense your power!”
Worf, who prefers less verbal forms of communications during the practice of mating, growls, dumps Troi in a corridor, and goes to 10-forward for a drink.
Picard smirks and presses the Reset Button.
Nothing happens.
“Geordi! Fix this damned thing! How can we run a starship without a reset button?”
“She’ll no take it,Captain!”
Picard began to shake, repeadedly jabbing the inert button…