To determine the threat level accurately, we really need more information. Was it a bad-ass BMX bike with knobby tires, flames painted on the frame, and playing cards in the spokes, or a pink banana-seat girl’s bike with a bell, handlebar tassels, and a Hello Kitty basket?
I love you.
For some reason this is how I’m envisioning it.
No, it was a tricked-out bicycle with chopper handlebars & small front & rear wheels.
Ohhh. . .is this your nemesis?
The verbal taunts of an idiot don’t give anybody, male or female, either a legal or moral right to commit violence. I’m trying to understand the mindset in which “standing up for yourself” means physically assaulting somebody who mocks you. (I can understand the impulse, but not the characterization of the action. “Standing up for yourself” implies that somebody is trying to oppress, bully or rob you.)
You don’t think Bosda was being bullied? This sort of taunting is classic bully behavior.
Bosda did need to stand up for himself, perhaps violence isn’t the answer, but there are nonviolent responses to this behavior that show the bully (and yourself) that you aren’t someone who takes shit lying down.
Instead, he did nothing except seethe and vent about it here.
The perp in the OP is just like a troll. He’s trying to get a reaction, maybe get you to run after him on the bike while he outraces you.
If you just ignore him he’ll get no satisfaction and most likely will feel somewhat deflated, even stupid. After all, you have a car and all he can manage is a bike.
Of course many of us would have reacted differently. But how many of us truly command so little respect that we can place ourselves in Bosda’s shoes? Even if while I was trying to change my tire in the bitch-ass cold and I split my pants and scurried home holdin the pizza box like a greasy codpiece nobody would do this to me.
Violence isn’t the answer, though. I suggest you find the little fucker, steal his bike and paint it pink. Ransom it with cut out letters from Mad Magazine. Make him do all kinds of stupid things just to get his pink bike back.
Remember the words of Khan, Bosda, it is verrry coold in spaaace.
Or he’ll become enboldened and ramp up his schtick. Now that he knows that Bosda isn’t going to do anything or stand up for himself, and is an easy target, what is to dissuade him from doing it again, only worse?
Let me put it this way- If you saw this guy bullying a child, wouldn’t you stand up for the kid? Then why is it wrong for** Bosda** to stick up for himself?
Yep. I might add it’s OK to stick up for adults too. If for instance a peckerwood at Sears is bullying “a guy who don’t speak the language” I might step in. Or if a dude in an argument thought it best to push his girl in an icy parking lot across from a bar. Anybody can step in.
I agree with you completely on this though: Bosda should’ve stepped up in the first place.
Nope; bullying involves attempting to force or intimidate somebody into doing something they don’t want to. The idiot on the bike was just verbally harassing Bosda.
Again, there’s nothing to “stand up for himself” about. Just an idiot to be ignored.
ETA: There’s always the option of inviting the taunter to back up his statements with either a cogent argument or physical action. Everytime I’ve done that, I’ve found a coward with poor rhetorical skills.
If you’re worried about escalation, I wouldn’t follow your advice.
Lets keep it at the level of verbal harrassment. I would advise the child to just ignore the idiot.
If you are walking down the street with your child, and a “verbal harasser” comes by and starts “verbally harassing” your child, you would do what? Whisper softly (to make sure you’re not overheard) to “ignore the idiot” and blithely walk on like nothing happened? Make sure there was no eye contact? Slump lower so create a lower profile? Even when he was following you, riding circles around you, trying to intimidate? I don’t want my children, or even any children, (Let alone full grown adult males) to learn how to be victims thankyouverymuch.
What a blathering pussy.
If this is such a minor thing, just a little talkin’ smack, why did the OP need to vent in big letters, wishing death?
There’s nothing wrong with him sticking up for himself. It depends, though, on what this entails. I don’t think that beating the crap out of a guy who is doing nothing more than taunting you constitutes sticking up for yourself.
But let’s assume for a moment that you’re right, and that ignoring him the first time might cause him to “ramp up his schtick” the next time.
Let’s start with two possible scenarios, in terms of the relative toughness of the protagonists. Secenario A says that Bosda is tougher, and could kick BikeMoron’s ass. Scenario B says that BikeMoron is tougher, and could kick Bosda’s ass. I know there are other possibilities, but bear with me here.
Next, given these two scenarios, let’s ask ourselves what might change (for either Bosda or BikeMoron, if BikeMoron is emboldened by Bosda’s casual attitude and comes back next week, seeking to escalate the situation.
In Scenario A, when BikeMoron returns and tries to give Bosda more grief, possibly attempting physical as well as mental attack, Bosda kicks his ass.
In Scenario B when BikeMoron returns and tries to give Bosda more grief, possibly attempting physical as well as mental attack, Bosda tries to kick his ass as fails, instead getting his own ass kicked.
How does that differ from what might have happened if Bosda tried to kick his ass the first time? The outcome is likely to be the same in either case. But, by walking away the first time, Bosda allows for the possibility that this might be a one-off incident, and that he’ll never see BikeMoron again.
Basically, violence is avoided the first time; if it becomes necessary the second time, then you deal with that possibility when you come to it. No point taking it to physical assault unless absolutely necessary.
And what if the guy on the bike was Hitler? Damn you Bosda, you just let Hitler escape!
There wasn’t a child involved in the story. If there had been your point might make sense, but there wasn’t so it doesn’t.
All you need to do is pull out the old “Why don’t you come over here and say that to my face?” line.
If he does, it means he is willing to escalate, in which case you do your best to kick his ass. It was HIS choice.
If he doesn’t, it means you’ve backed him down. You’re the alpha and chances are he won’t bother you again.
Case closed.
Dude, how is it being a “blathering pussy” to just roll one’s eyes and just walk right on. Please, I have much more important to worry about.
Bitch, PLEASE. If that’s the worst bullying you get, then you’re damned lucky.
mhendo, I have never said Bosda should have got into a violent physical confrontation. I just said he should have stuck up for himself. That might entail diffusing the situation, trying to engage in conversation, eye contact, firm strong voice telling him to knock it off, better physical body language, a few choice quips sprinkled liberally with expletives calling into question his ancestry, a call to the cops, or clotheslining the guy as he rode past.
Listen, I am 5’6, 130#, 38 years old, and a woman. There’s not a lot of physical confrontations I am going to win. I still wouldn’t have taken it lying down. If it was an off color remark as someone drove by, yeah, whatever. But this? No way.
Maybe I am different because I am a contractor, and am used to dealing with big asshole men on occasion, but I am no victim. The OP screamed victim. Being a victim is no way to live your life. Ignoring bad behavior does nothing but encourage it in most situations. There are many things you can do to not elicit this behavior, or to diffuse the situation quickly before it escalates.
Larry, that post was in response to Dutchman. Hence my quote tags. Though I did laugh at the Hitler ref, and was tempted to ask about a burning car, and a gun.
Guin, I’m sure you probably have a patent on the “eye roll of death.”
Well, he could’ve looked in a funny way…
Seriously, PALATR is only good answer for such silly provocation. For some reason, I find Sam & Max quotes strangely appropriate for this thread: