What's that? Another bicycle rant?

The BBQ Pit
1

I try as hard as I possibly can to be a courteous, responsible bicyclist. I don’t ride on sidewalks when there’s even a slight chance of pedestrians being there. I don’t run stop signs. If I’m not comfortable riding through an intersection with a light, I’ll get off my bike, wait for the signal, and walk it across. I don’t ride against traffic. And if it’s at all possible, I’ll ride on side streets that have much less traffic. I don’t like riding in traffic, because cars are bigger and faster and will win in a fight.

And yet there are times when I sincerely wish I had a baseball bat strapped to my bike, so that when needed, I could pull it out and smash the fuck out of certain cars. I try not to get worked up about the accidental or unthinking stuff, but when people intentionally threaten me, then I get really fucking pissed off…

This morning I’m riding, unavoidable, down a fairly major local road. It’s a divided road. There are three lanes going the direction I’m going in, which expands to four as you approach Major Intersection: two dedicated right-turn lanes - the type divided by the little triangle median - and two ‘go straight’ lanes. Regrettably there is no shoulder.

Now, let me put you in the drivers seat. You’re driving a very large pickup truck. You are in the center lane, before the fourth lane appears. The light has just turned red up ahead. You see, just ahead of you, a bicyclist, riding along the right lane. She has not taken the lane, and if you drove a reasonably sized vehicle, you could easily get by her without crossing into the center lane.

Do you:
A) Ignore the bicyclist
B) Make a mental note of her presence in case she does take the lane or otherwise get closer to you
C) Lay on your horn, swerve sharply into the front lane, and scream “Get out of the fucking road you whore!” at the bicyclist?

If you picked A, well done. If you picked B, I adore you and think you’re a very kind, responsible person. If you picked C, you’re a miserable asshole with a microscopic penis who deserve to have hot shards of glass, just this side of melting, shoved into your eyeballs, and then I’ll kick you in your tiny, tiny balls, you miserable maggot-ridden sack of shit.

Seriously, what the fuck? It’s one thing if you don’t give me more than a foot of clearance. Maybe there’s not room, maybe you’re not paying that much attention, maybe you just don’t know to do so. Fine, I accept that. If you intentionally try to run me off the fucking road, that just makes you a 100%, Grade-A, premium Asshole.

Thankfully I managed to not wipe out; there is a tiny little sidewalk that I somehow managed to hop up onto without killing myself. I have no doubt that if I hadn’t, he would have actually hit me. And if I didn’t have so much to do this week I’d be tempted to say that fuck, I should have let him hit me, because then the police would have been called and, hopefully, King of the Fuckwits would have gotten himself in some trouble.

2

sigh Sounds about like the story my roommate told me when he got home yesterday. There’s a bit of construction on Airport, one of the few streets that actually has a dedicated bike lane. However, it seems that the construction crew has decided the best place to put up all their signs is right in the middle of the bike lane. Fortunately, he said the person who zoomed closest to him was easily identified by the “POLICE” decal on the back of his car.

3

Woah, how did he know you were a whore?
:wink: j/k

4

I was a teenager on an old Schwinn, riding on a suburban side street. One lane in each direction with no center line and completely empty except for me, or so I thought. Then I heard an engine behind me so I moved to the right. The engine noise stayed behind me so I moved over even more. No change. I start riding on the curb (the curbs in that area are set at about a 35° angle). Still no change; remember, this is on an otherwise empty street. At this point, I decide I had enough, ride up the curb, and stop in the grass. Turns out I was being followed by a pickup, from which a voice called out, “You’re in the way!” Empty street, no center line, and you refuse to pass until I’m completely out of the street?
:confused:

5

Didn’t you know? His father was shot by a bicycle. That same bicycle raped and murdered his sister, killed his dog, and stole his Bible.

In the light of that knowledge, how can you question his actions?

Seriously, though, the worst that’s happened to me is being honked at, and I just don’t understand what they get out of that.

6

This isn’t just a problem for bicycles, but pretty much anytime a powered vehicle encounters a small, unpowered one. I’ve especially had this problem when sea kayaking and boaters thinking it is great fun to zoom up and try to swap the kayak. (On the plus side, it gives you plenty of practice with your bracing skills.) I’ve also had this problem with small sailboats; fortunately, a Sunfish is easy to unturtle and the mast is way overdesigned, taking the water load on the sales with ease.

I’m sure it is just a small minority of drivers and power boaters, but these guys make up for their small numbers and presumably small genitalia (it is almost exclusively men) with the extreme amount of risk they pose to an unprotected bicyclist/boater/pedestrian for no reason whatsoever.

I am agreed with the o.p. (as is traveloguist Paul Theroux who rants on about the issue in one of his essays); people who do this are jerks who should be strung up by fishhooks through their toenails.

Stranger

7

Yeah, in my several years of biking in this town, this is the first time I’ve ever experienced anything clearly intended to be malicious. I’ve had a few people shout things before, but never like this. I just don’t get it.

8

I was on my bike one day and a man stepped out from between two parked cars, directly into my path. As I saw the situation unfolding I began muttering “you’re not looking where you’re going” - my strategy in such situations, my hands are too busy braking and turning to want to distract with the bell, so I use my voice, which gives the truly clueless an opportunity to hear me and get out of the way. He heard me all right, and instead of moving out of the way (remember, he was stepping out, without looking, from between parallel parked cars, into oncoming traffic - he was clearly in the wrong), as I swerved into the oncoming lane, he hollered and swore at me.

Some people are never wrong, and some people hate cyclists. For some, both are true. Cyclists need to watch out for those people.

9

I was struck just over 4 years ago and due to the injuries I received now ride a handcycle. The difference in the way I am treated is like night and day. I had my share of yells, horns and thrown objects. Now I ride many of the same roads as before but at a slower speed yet passing traffic gives me a wide berth. I have had only one driver display any impatience. I don’t get right hooked, tailgated in the bike lane at corners, none of the stupid behaviors of the driver in a hurry. When I rode my first century last year, along a long straight stretch, a jacked up,loud pickup was harassing riders, swerving close and blasting the horn. When he came near me, he slowed, moved to the left and passed carefully, then resumed his previous idiocy.

10

[deep cynicism mode]
Well, yeah. In your case, their work here is done.
[/deep cynicism mode]

11

He couldn’t see the seat?

:wink:

12

I’ve had objects thrown at me from passing cars, been driven onto the pavement at least once, been cut across by cars whilst on a roundabout numerous times, and once had a car door opened directly in front of me whilst riding at night, by someone sat in her car in the dark, who just decided to get out without even checking for traffic.

Still, what does not destroy me, serves to make me stronger… or a lot more wary!

13

Peddeling your ass all over town ?

When I was a cyclist, twenty years ago, drivers were less agressive.

14

I took sailing lessons when I was 12 and one of the things we did was a drill where the whole group would go out and turtle the boats and then unturtle them over and over again. I thought it was fun as hell - I would even do it by myself during free-sailing time.

(Yeah that had nothing to do with anything, I know…just reminded me of a little memory from the past)

15

I had something similar happen to me recently while just walking. It was in a national park and some friends and I were walking down a two lane road back to camp. Now in spots the ground on either side of the road slopes at about eighty degrees so you can’t walk on the side and have to walk on the road right by the outside line. There seemed to be about one car every five minutes though so this wasn’t really a problem. However one person seemed to be so offended by our walking on the road he actually swerved into the opposite lane in order to miss us all by about five inches and then honked at us.

16

There’s an (adult) macho-mountain biker that rides the streets near me on a regular basis. Normally I don’t give him much thought, but he really pissed me off yesterday. In the space of about 1/2 a mile, he cut in front of me twice, rode up on the sidewalk, and nearly broadsided me as I was pulling into my driveway. Lots of bike riders follow the rules of the road, just like lots of drivers…and there will always be jerks that spoil it for everybody else.

17

When I saw the thread title, I thought the OP had been involved in this incident.

18

From your link, I love the first sentence:

“JACKSONVILLE, FL – The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office is investigating a bizarre crash on the Southside involving a woman driving a car full of children and a bicyclist.”

19

I don’t think it makes you an asshole. I think it makes you a criminal.

(A 3-ton vehicle certainly seems to qualify as a with deadly weapon.)

20

Yeah, but around here at least, the cops would probably breathalyze him, and if he wasn’t drunk, they’d pat him on the back and tell him good job. :rolleyes: