There are an abundance of house flies in the office today. Why house flies are in the office, I dunno. Seems like they should be at home. Anyhoo, the only swatting weapon I have is a plastic ruler (14", BTW. Mine’s 15% longer than average. It had to be said). Anyhoo, too, the challenge I put forth is this - kill as many house flies (home or away) as you can with an N.T.S.U. (Non-Traditional Swatting Unit). Post here your kill count, methodology, and any self-imposed rules to make it more sporting. Well, not here exactly, I’m using this space. Find somewhere else in this thread to post your results.
N.T.S.U. - 14" plastic ruler Self-imposed rule - must be swatted while airborne. Not only makes it more sporting but keeps unsightly splat stains off my paperwork. Kill count - 3
Wow, good job. I had 2-3 flies (last one still unaccounted for, but I haven’t seen it today) in my house yesterday. My swatter of choice is a rolled up advertising circular form the free weekly paper.
I am not talented enough to swat them while flying, I have to wait until they land.
So far I have gotten one fly.
Hanna (my hero) my tabby cat, also got (and ate) one fly.
I have other help too - Rocky the lab mutt and Bo the old ex-hunter cat also join in the fun. I haven’t witnessed either of those two make a confirmed kill yet, but one fly is still unaccounted for. Since the animals tend to eat their kills, one of those two might have gotten one.
I spent a goodly part of yesterday morning hunting those flies. sigh I have no life. For some reason, flies indoors really bug the snot outta me.
I use my bare hands, like a man! My wife raises small livestock and also likes to leave the doors open for an inappropriate amount of time, so there is never a shortage of game in the house.
NTSU- Bare hand, baby!
SIR- I “put them on notice” first, by declaring my intentions of killing them.
Kill count- Too many to keep track of, and damn proud of it!
I nailed one just last nite with my left hand while drinking a beer with the right!
How is Rap like Porn? Both are better with the sound turned off.
I do it with my hands too! Swatting doesn’t work, it goes like this.
Watch the victim land. Approach slowly, with both hands extended, one on either side. Very carefully bring hands closer together, and when less than a foot apart, clap hands as fast as possible, in the air just above the fly. A fly usually takes off straight up, like a Harrier jet, so the little sucker literally leaps right into your hands.
Dispose of corpse. Wash hands thoroughly. Lots of soap.
Nay, bare handers! I call you out as non-sportsman. Too easy, I say (although the fly-with-the-left-hand/beer-in-the-right was pretty impressive). Hands give far too much surface area. My ruler is a mere 2 fingers wide. Swat using only two fingers of one hand and I shall be duly amazed
Boscibo - keep practicing, you’ll be an expert in time. You might want to pick up a copy of my book, It Was A Fly But Now It Don’t, for some advanced techniques. Just go to any Borders and ask for it by name. Chapter 15, “Time Flies”, deals with swatting while airborne and may be of particular interest.
I got a wasp! I don’t know how it got in, probably when I let the refrigerator-cleaning guy in this afternoon.
I was going to catch and release it with a big plastic cup and some stiff paper, but it wouldn’t sit still. So I had to resort to rolling up the aforementioned free weekly paper, making a huge swatter.
It took me about 20 whacks to off it. I was freaking out, I am deathly afraid of wasps. By the time it finally lay still, my legs were weak and I felt like crying.
I had to sit down. Then about after 5 minutes of me staring at it, it started moving again. I had to whack it some more. I was afraid to look away, lest it get up and fly away. I stared at it for a few more minutes, and it started moving AGAIN~! Whack, whack, whack. Finally my boyfriend came home and threw it in the trash.
It was a very mad wasp, and it wouldn’t die. I can’t believe I killed it. Now I feel bad for it.
Heh. I just re-watched the independant film “Dead Alive” last night. It’s a campy, bloody, gory, zombie-filled, hilarious take off on horror movies. An un-dead wasp would fit very neatly into the plot.
If you’ve never seen the movie, BTW, I heartily recommend renting it (or keep watching the Independant Film Channel for re-runs). The final scene uses 300 liters of fake blood and took 2 weeks to film!
