Flying w/ baby: advise me (or tell me off -- your choice)

In My Humble Opinion
1

Seriously. We’re taking our 4-month old with us on two flights on Friday – the first almost 3 hours long, the second over an hour. I hate it when other people inflict their little screamers on me, but we don’t have much of a choice this time. Holler at me on behalf of the poor innocents on our planes, or give me tips to make it go more smoothly. Anyone?

I will be taking a bulk box of 32-dB-NRR earplugs to hand out to nearby passengers as needed, on advice from a friend who’s done this and says it was a hit.

We’ll have all the normal baby-calming stuff we usually use, of course. Not that there’s much – he’s too little to be interested in toys yet.

2

Arrange your schedule so you are giving him a bottle at take-off and landing so his poor little ears don’t hurt. That should stop him from hurting other people’s ears as well.

3

Well one option is to stop fretting so much over other people is my view. Its societies job to deal with children existing.

That doesnt mean telling people to get bent, just to not feel like you have to apologise for even being there.

Otara

4

We sat behind a baby from ATL to SLC a couple weeks ago and he never made a peep. Just popped his head over the seat back to look at us all the time. The mom spent a lot of time jollying him, though - he never did go to sleep.

5

I’d second this. And relax as much as you can - it’s not like you can stop the plane midflight if your little one loses it, so just focus on dealing with your own issues if something arises. If someone gives you grief and you’re doing your best to remedy the situation, you really can’t do anymore than that.

With respect to toys…they can lose their lustre pretty quickly. I’m sure you’ve already thought of it, but bring a variety. Oh, and we found that water bottles make excellent playthings during a 17-hour flight. I know you can probably only bring on formula or breastmilk through security, but after you get checked in, pick up some water (you may be planning on it anyway) and, once you’re done with it, keep the bottle and find something to put in it. If you happen to have some Mardis Gras beads or something else that can be tucked in a purse or diaper bag and easily removed from the bottle, bring those. Instant new rattle!

6

This is good advice. The only other thing I can think of is be prepared to give the baby your full attention for the whole flight. You may not have to (might fall asleep and stay that way) but you should be prepared just in case. Don’t be too disappointed if you don’t get a single minute to eat or read or sleep on the flight.

7

Also, if you suspect he has even the slightest hint of an ear infection don’t make him get on that plane. I had to fly with an ear infection once and I have to say it would have been worth losing the $700 I paid for the flight and the week with my parents not to have to deal with that ever again. It felt like my skull was trying to implode!

8

Having shared plenty of flights with little 'uns, I can tell you that for most average people (read: not the asshats - you’re on your own there) you’ll get a lot less stinkeye if you make some visible effort to calm/quiet/distract the baby. Nothing’s worse than a baby shrieking in earcanal pain while the mother completely ignores it and leafs through a magazine.

Four months is old enough to be drinking water, right? Schlurping on a little water if it’s not exactly feeding time should help your son’s ears pop.

(Also: I super-love the idea of handing out earplugs! You and the friend who suggested it are my new favorite new parents.)

9

I think the earplugs are a fantastic idea, if even just to make the surrounding passengers look upon the situation with a sense of humor. It’s true that you could just take the attitude that “It’s a baby, people. Deal with it!” but flying is difficult enough already for some people, and infusing a potentially bad situation with a little humor and humanity will go a long way.

Baby Smaje will be here in a couple of months, and we already have plans to take her on a plane trip at two months, so I’ll be keeping a close on the advice you get here today. Good luck!

10

Welcome to the world of flying with children. You will never look at your flying experience the same again. Even if you get to fly without children again in the future, you will be ever sympathetic towards those parents.

Seriously, don’t sweat it. Just do what you have to do to keep him occupied and soothed.

Don’t forget that the airline will gate-check your stroller. That means leave it somewhere on the jetway before you get on the plane and they will return it to you at the same place when you land so that you will have it while you’re in the airport. Just ask the gate attendant for a gate-check tag and where to leave it.

Also, if you are taking your car seat with you as checked baggage, most airlines will allow you to check that bag without a fee. Just let them know when you are checking in at the ticket counter.

Good luck.

11

We’ll definitely try this. Sadly, he’s resisted scheduling of any kind so far, so if he’ll even accept a bottle at the right time it’ll be by luck. I’m hoping pacifier use might work too.

True. I don’t honestly think people should be excoriated for taking babies on planes – but it is hard on the babies and hard on anyone who has to listen to screaming ones, all the same.

Crossing my fingers!

True dat, and that’s pretty much my mom’s advice, too.

You might have missed where I said in the OP that my son isn’t interested in toys yet. At all. He really ignores them. I’m actually starting to worry about that just a teeny tiny bit (in those 3 AM moments when you can’t stop yourself from worrying about stupid things because you’re too bloody exhausted). He does like to have books read to him, though, so we’ll take a few of those. “The Belly Button Book” seems to be his favorite right now. “BEE BO!”

:stuck_out_tongue: I wasn’t even planning to bring a book!

I hear ya (see what I did there?) I used to get a lot of sinus infections – just no. I’m not that mean.

I’ll tell my friend you said so! she is awesome. She introduced me to my husband back in the day, too. On purpose – she knew what would happen.

If I (strangely) have any spare time before we go, I’d like to make up little stickers for the earplugs with a cartoon of a crying baby and a sentence of explanation. I think our printer’s out of toner, though.

On preview: Wilbo523, thanks, and you’re right, I’m sure. We don’t actually own a stroller (we use wraps and Baby Bjorns and such) and will be renting a car with a carseat when we arrive, so no worries about gatecheck, fortunately. We’ll probably need a small cart just to carry all the other baby gear.

12

Well, my youngest will be 37 in a few weeks, so it’s been a long time. Nonetheless, I don’t mind crying babies at all. The advice about feeding at takeoff and landing (especially landing) is good.

13

Mine’s only 11 years (thanks for making me remember she’s still “young”) and we flew about half a dozen times while she was between 3 months to a year.

Feeding during takeoff and landing worked every time for us. She seemed to like the noise and motion. I always spoke to staff on boarding and asked what I could do to make life easier for them, they were far more experienced than me and offered all the same advice you’re getting in this thread.

A friend of mine was a stewardess and pilot for many years and said that if the parents would let her, she was always happy to take a fretful infant for a while to give the parents and other passengers a break. That was on longer international flights, I never got that offer (not really needed) on the 1 hour flights we did.

14

Start by telling him/her what is going to happen on the plane. Not that he/she can understand, but he/she can sense your feelings. Let him/her know that it’s safe and you will be there with him/her. Keep at this till you feel he/she understands it.

On the plane, constant physical contact, let him/her know you are there.

Much Blessings to you both

15

I flew alone, with my daughter, when she was that age and only breastfeeding. She slept through the whole thing. Nursed right up until the plane started to taxi, and then slept through everything…her little ears didn’t bother her a bit, thank goodness.

16

[quote=“emmaliminal, post:11, topic:556820”]

No advice about the OP (the Little One has still never been on a plane, although my sister-in-law swears by the nursing-at-takeoff-and-landing) but just to say that my daughter wasn’t at all interested in toys OR books until she hit a big cognitive leap at about 5 1/2 months; she then started to be interested in them, but it wasn’t until about 7 months that I had to start packing toys/books in our travel bag because she now loves them so much she gets bored without. So I don’t think you need to worry just yet :slight_smile:

17

I flew round trip Australia-New Zealand 3 times before Baby From Mars was 6 months old, so hopefully this will come in handy. I was by myself for 2 of those trips, so if you have an extra pair of hands things should be a lot easier!

See if you can schedule flights around naps - you might be lucky and have them sleep on the plane but this is doubtful, especially as they get a little older. If you get them freshly napped on the plane they can be in a better mood. One bad flight was delayed 4 hours and she was way overdue for bedtime, and was trouble on the flight.

Ask about a bassinette option - my flight gave me this which helped when she was 3-4 months old and she slept - by 6 months she was too aware of what was going on and wouldn’t.

I breastfed on takeoff and landings, and never had any issues with ear popping - if this won’t work for you a dummy can help. ’

I also brought lots of quiet toys to keep her entertained - graphic cards, books, soft toys etc. A few that you can rotate can help keep things fresh.

I carried her through the airport in a sling - it meant no unloading her from a stroller, or having to return this at the gate etc and gives extra hands. I also found she was much more settled (although be aware that they get you to unload them from the sling to seatbelt you both in, so don’t make the mistake I did the first time of getting her to sleep just as we boarded!

Go for walks - it helps calm them down and I do think they can get bored sitting still for a long time. I had stewardesses who offered to carry her too - use this if you need a break.

Bring something you can eat with one hand. Usually not enough room to put a table down and you may need to eat.

Ask when you check in if there’s a chance of a seat away from other people ‘to spare them in case she cries’. This got me a row to myself, which is great if you need to put them down to sit, or eat, or just rearrange things.

Above all, just relax (hard I know). People expect babies to make noise, and they only care if you are clearly not doing anything to try to calm the baby. And if they still don’t forgive you then, stuff them. You can’t do more than you can do!

18

Just please, please keep an eye on him. I once had an 8 hour flight in which some poor mom was stuck managing 3 little kids for the whole flight. I sympathize with her, but she strapped her 2-3 year old in the seat next to me and spent most of the flight ignoring him and managing her older, more hyper kids.

While that little fucker kicked me. For eight. hours. And I don’t mean “occasionally he’d move and accidentally knock against me,” I mean "I’d be woken from sleep because the little shit-sucking sumbitch had squirmed around so he was half on his back in the seat, braced against it, and kicked me in the head, and now that I was moving he was adjusting his aim.

I love kids, but I wanted to beat the everliving hell out of that one, and if his mom had even made a token effort to manage his scrawny ass I think I would’ve been significantly less angry at him. :slight_smile:

19

When our Taller Girl was 3 months old (4 months when we came back) we took her to visit my parents in the UK. Two legs each way, about 9-10 hours per leg.

The single most useful piece of equipment we had with us was a sarong. With that, some borrowed clothespegs and two flight safety leaflets, we MacGyvered a canopy over the bassinet, cutting out the glare of the overhead lights (right over the bassinet area) and allowing her to sleep (which she certainly never would have otherwise).

Three legs out of four, she slept so well that I was compelled to continually peek under the canopy to satisfy my parental paranoia (still breathing? poke wriggle phew!).

Fourth leg she didn’t sleep at all, which is where our second most useful piece of equipment (sling, for walking her up and down the cabin) came in.

It was surprisingly doable, even for that length of journey. Of course, I’d never want to do it again, but it didn’t kill me and she didn’t scream the cabin down even in her “9 hours no sleep” stretch, so I think that’s a win!

20

Get to the airport early - a lot of airlines won’t reserve a bassinet and it’ll be on a first-come, first-serve basis.

I’ve been told to give the child children’s antihistamine on flights to induce sleep but our daughter (who first flew at 11 months) tends to react to antihistamines with a bad case of the squirts, which is far worse than a bit of screaming and restlessness. Plus, four months old is too young for that.

Other than that - distractions and comforting are all you can do. I’ve seen babies fly happily without a peep and others scream all the way through. It’s luck of the draw, I’m afraid.