Flying w/ baby: advise me (or tell me off -- your choice)

[pseudotriton_ruber_ruber]

I’m just saying that I could act like a selfish asshole whenever i take public transportation, but I don’t, drawing the line at being respectful of my fellow passengers’ comfort by avoiding doing some rude, selfish things just shy of “bringing a child too young to know how to behave” onboard with me.

As I said, when I had young kids, I would inconvenience myself (foregoing some trips, taking others by car, etc.) rather than bring my kids on a flight with me and creating discomfort for them and for my fellow passengers. “Wanting things my way or lashing out” is what I consider parents of young kids on plane flights to be doing, generally (the OP here excepted.) “I wanna see my friends for the weekend and let them meet my cute little drooling, whining six-month old, and if I can’t travel the fastest, most convenient way for me, life isn’t worth living. Me, me, me!”

Clearer?

[overlyverbose]

@Scougs

Oh no, please, no.

I was once on a plane with a fussy baby nearby. A fussy baby doesn’t bother me that much. I feel sorry for them - they haven’t a clue what’s going on, they are surrounded by strange people in a strange environment and their ears are hurting.

However, the parent who tried to calm down fussy baby with a noisy rattle for the whole flight… that’s a different story. The baby was clearly paying absolutely no attention to it, and it’s the only thing the parent continually tried to do.

My iPod can drown out most fussy babies. That rattle cut through everything.

Fair enough. Mardi Gras beads are remarkably quiet, but I wouldn’t use something like coins. If the bottle is dry enough, you can also use toss-away things like wads of colored paper. When we used the water bottle with our son, we just gave him some coffee stirrers - he liked to put them in, we’d screw on the cap, he’d shake, then unscrew, dump, repeat. It was that or water. Juice was better because it had a color and was more interesting. I can definitely see wanting to smack someone who brought a super loud toy. Plus, those loud toys on top of the unfamiliar noise of a jet engine usually scare the crap out of babies.

[overlyverbose]

@emmaliminal

Thanks, all of you. (“See here, Mr. Asshole On A Plane, I have permission from pseudotriton ruber ruber!”)

Those several of you who’ve mentioned a bassinet – I’ve never heard of this, or seen one on a flight. Can anyone attest that they’re available on domestic US flights, and maybe elaborate?

I’ve never seen one on a domestic flight, but if the plane is large enough, they may have one. The bassinets snap into the bulkhead wall. The only time I’ve ever seen them was on a flight to and from India - this mom was traveling with twins and they slept most of the time.

[Hedda_Rosa]

Honestly? Flying with a 4 month old is cake. Flying with an *18 month old *sucks. 4 month old can cry sure, but mostly is happy enough if you offer a bottle/the boob. And with luck will sleep. An 18 month old can spend an entire 6 hour flight from SFO to JFK awake and jumping in your lap and fall asleep in the last 5 minutes of the flight during the decent into JFK. Trust me on this one.

The trip that stands out for me though was when I took my then-3 month old and then-2.75 year old from CA to NY alone.

The flight attendants were very sweet and helpful, and brough snacks at off-times. And a nice lady in the row across from me held the baby every time I took the older one to the bathroom. The older kid watched TV the whole time - thank you JetBlue!

Nursing/bottle feeding on takeoff and landing is a must. I also brought a jar of earplugs to offer around, thinking it would buy me goodwill but mostly people just grunted at me or ignored me completely, so don’t get your heart set on definitely getting anything out of the effort.

In your carryon pack more diapers than you think you need and then put in 3 more. Same with wipes. Put in a new shirt for yourself and 2 changes for the baby. If you cloth diaper bite the bullet and go with 'sposies just for the flight (do a test run to check for diaper rash first). If you are bottlefeeding or nursing more often for soothing, you’ll go through more diapers and probably have more poops or runnier poops to deal with. Bring butt balm of some sort. Also a changing pad, the optsions for changing a baby in an airprit and airplane aren’t too fantastic.

Dress in layers, both of you - if the plane is held on the runway (god forbid) it might get hot in the plane, and also sometimes it can get hot just while the plane is flying. Also I wore my baby in our Moby, which was easier for me than the ergo, YMMV. But hodling a baby for that long also can get hot.

Grab a pillow, or two as you are walking into the plane, just steal from someone else’s seat (or ask the flight attendant). You’ll be glad to have the cushioning for your arms against the armrests, holding the baby that long.

I was never really able to walk up and down the aisle in a plane - there is always a drinks cart in the way and it is so narrow it doesn’t make for good pacing, but again YMMV.

Either way, even if the baby screams the whole flight, remember that it is finite, eventually you will get there and go on with your life. And someday when your kids are older, you’ll see a young mother with her baby on an airplane and think to yourself “thank god I never have to do that again”, and turn back to your book.

Good luck!

[emmaliminal]

Lots of good stuff there, Hedda Rosa. Layers, check. Pillows, check – I have a couple blow-up ones I can bring, too. Heh. We got a disposables test run in this weekend – we have oil heat and hot water, and of course ran out of oil Friday afternoon before a holiday weekend. Stupit inaccurate oil gauge. But even the cheap store brand paper diapers surprised me with how effective they are these days, compared to when I was a babysitter in the 80s.

Re grunting at earplugs: but it doesn’t surprise me. All the more reason to hope I can get the stickers done, I guess; grunters may smile later when they think I’m not looking. (The friend who suggested these to me is a graphic designer and made her own stickers, and I suspect that played a part in her success with them.)

Change of clothes for the adults, check! A different friend recently told us the story of her daughter’s Epic On-Plane Exploding Shittastrophe. It happened early in a long, turbulent, “Seatbelts Mandatory”-sign-never-off flight. (shudder)
**
Tom Tildrum**, don’t think I haven’t considered it. I’d even poke air-holes in the box.

[Surly_Chick]

Carry-on under the seat, baby in the overhead bin…

[lost4life]

@pseudotriton_ruber_ruber

I’m just saying that I could act like a selfish asshole whenever i take public transportation, but I don’t, drawing the line at being respectful of my fellow passengers’ comfort by avoiding doing some rude, selfish things just shy of “bringing a child too young to know how to behave” onboard with me.

As I said, when I had young kids, I would inconvenience myself (foregoing some trips, taking others by car, etc.) rather than bring my kids on a flight with me and creating discomfort for them and for my fellow passengers. “Wanting things my way or lashing out” is what I consider parents of young kids on plane flights to be doing, generally (the OP here excepted.) “I wanna see my friends for the weekend and let them meet my cute little drooling, whining six-month old, and if I can’t travel the fastest, most convenient way for me, life isn’t worth living. Me, me, me!”

Clearer?

Not clear at all. In no way is it selfish or rude to use public transportation in the way it was intended. You’re the one who wants things their way.

This topic comes up repeatedly. Geez, why do people think that getting on an airplane is some sort of special privilege? I’m in no way what people would consider “kid friendly” but I’m always at a loss for this issue with airplanes and kids. Like I already said, it’s a flying bus with a very utilitarian purpose. Sure it’s nice when the people of all ages behave on a flight (I’m not aware of any planes being diverted due to babies), and nobody wants to sit near someone screaming their head off, but shit happens, babies exist, and I’m not going to get so worked up where “I’m going to inflict a little special pain on you, too.” :rolleyes:

Don’t want to be bothered? Drive yourself (don’t selfishly expect the rest of the world to do this for your convenience).
Too far to drive? Charter a jet.
Can’t afford a jet? Fly first class (could have kids, but usually not).
Can’t afford first class? Guess what, you’re stuck in the back with the rest of us cheap schmucks, most of whom are just trying to get from point A to point B with no grandiose expectations regarding airline travel.

[Balthisar]

Well, just to play devil’s advocate, one could always leave a bus or walk out of a restaurant. And if you’d rather not leave, then you can always get another seat on the bus or ask for a new table in the restaurant. Once you’re on the airplane, you’re pretty captive. There’s no getting off, and and most flights on my particular frequent routes, there’s never another seat to move to. Then there’s the consideration that as a paying passenger, well, I’m paying passenger. That baby is riding free, so, yeah, my comfort and rights are more important than the baby’s.

Now the reason I indicated that I was playing devil’s advocate is because in practice, I’ve never been on a flight where a baby has ruined it for me, despite being on many, many flights with babies. I have been on flights where evil, irresponsible parents have let their toddlers and young kids destroy my flight experience, and I always wish for a plane crash so that the tragedy would be on the news, would except for the obvious point of my not wanting to be involved in a crash.

[pseudotriton_ruber_ruber]

@lost4life

You’re the one who wants things their way.

You think I was having my way when I deliberately inconvenienced myself by driving instead of flying with small children because I knew that they create an unpleasant atmosphere for those around them? You have a very strange definition of selfishness.

[otternell]

@Balthisar

Well, just to play devil’s advocate, one could always leave a bus or walk out of a restaurant. And if you’d rather not leave, then you can always get another seat on the bus or ask for a new table in the restaurant. Once you’re on the airplane, you’re pretty captive. There’s no getting off, and and most flights on my particular frequent routes, there’s never another seat to move to. Then there’s the consideration that as a paying passenger, well, I’m paying passenger. That baby is riding free, so, yeah, my comfort and rights are more important than the baby’s.

Now the reason I indicated that I was playing devil’s advocate is because in practice, I’ve never been on a flight where a baby has ruined it for me, despite being on many, many flights with babies. I have been on flights where evil, irresponsible parents have let their toddlers and young kids destroy my flight experience, and I always wish for a plane crash so that the tragedy would be on the news, would except for the obvious point of my not wanting to be involved in a crash.

Gonna second this - babies are generally ok. Even when they cry, I can usually just think to myself that they don’t know any better, its just a baby, etc. However, when its a 12 yr old kicking the back of my seat, I just wanna come unhinged! Can’t of course, but boy I wanna!

[PeskiPiksi]

@smaje1

I think the earplugs are a fantastic idea, if even just to make the surrounding passengers look upon the situation with a sense of humor. It’s true that you could just take the attitude that “It’s a baby, people. Deal with it!” but flying is difficult enough already for some people, and infusing a potentially bad situation with a little humor and humanity will go a long way.

Agreed. My husband and I were on a flight once (before we had kids ourselves), trying to get home for Christmas. Crowded airports, long layovers, you know what flying at Christmas is like. So we make it onto the plane and one of the last set of passengers to come on is a family: Mom, Dad, and four little ones who must have all been under the age of five. You could just feel the tension in the cabin growing as everyone, already stressed and tired and frazzled, eyed those potential little hellions. Then Dad stood up, turned around and announced, “Don’t worry, everyone. Drinks are on me!” A ripple of laughter through the plane, tension diffused.

And as it turned out, those kids were little angels. Sat quietly in their seats the whole flight, coloring and eating their snacks.

[Eyebrows_0f_Doom]

@pseudotriton_ruber_ruber

When my little ones were little

@pseudotriton_ruber_ruber

For the record, i consider parents of very young children to be among the most self-centered asswipes on the planet, generally speaking–their attitude is “Hey, I have to put up with this annoying little fucker 24/7, and I’ve lost all perspective as to having a normal quiet life for a few more years, so I’m bound and determined to share my discomfort with all of you.”

Hey, just cause *you *used to behave like that, doesn’t mean most people do.

[pseudotriton_ruber_ruber]

What’s “like that”? I was considerate of other passengers. Is that too much to want of other parents?