Foolish American Newspaper "Onion" Selled to Glorious Chinese Fishmonger

Glorious news from printland as today foolish American newspaper “Onion” announce sale to Chinese leader makinghouse Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corporation. Some may call sale side effect of American weak economy, but purchase actually prove China strong economy. Focusing of newspaper “Onion” will still be latest newsing of weak American, but share of also given to goin-ons of glorious People’s Republic. Inferior American press make lot of comment about Onion sale and claim that were duped when true new owner announced today, but this only shows inferior view of economy china. Remember, all time is Fish Time.
ETA: I have merged in a second thread that was started in MPSIMS (posts #7-10). [twickster, MPSIMS/Cafe Society moderator]

That’s racist. And hilarious!

Balderdash! T. Herman Zweibel would never sell off his beloved brain-child, and certainly not to any wily Oriental junk-pilot who would only pay up, if ever, in putrid mackerel or baskets of weevil-infested rice. The whole thing is out-right pre-varication!

Mr. Therman zweibel show same resist at first, but soon change tune after payinged in something other than worthless America money. As can see, he also know that it Fish Time. With Yu Wan Mei, robustness is unavoidable.

Guess again. Even the Honorable M. Zweibel can be swayed by sufficient quantities of opium, I mean, yuan.

I really want to try the frozen eel milksicles.

The entire new issue is hilarious.

My personal favorite: American Children Like Me Are Lazy And Insolent And Must Try Harder

American Voices is also a highlight.

My favorite.

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nothing_at_all_happens_to_28?utm_source=a-section

这个新的世界的安排是非常令人兴奋!

(Google Translate: This new world is very exciting!)

I’m worried. Will the new owners keep Jim Anchower as a guest columnist?

I wonder what the Chinese think of this, especially the folks at the Beijing Evening News who reprinted Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built in their international news section.

This could take days to got through all the material

One of Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corporation’s subsidiaries is Freecreditreport.com (along with Hu-Hu Poisonous Treats).

I also like the Op-ed Know Any Good State Secrets? by “Dave Sampson”

How many times will this get passed around as serious, do you suppose?

A great 404 page. Even includes the little anime police officer I’ve seen on other Chinese Web sites.

My favorite part so far is the Corrections sidebar, listing all of the ‘inaccurate’ stories over the years that they now have to retract.

“‘China Girl’: Bowie’s Unbearable New Single”

Loved the interview on NPR’s “All Things Considered” yesterday on the drive home from work.