I had a doozy of a customer today. She had called our central call center to order a service that will not be available Tuesday, or Monday at the earliest. The she called me (I work at a branch office) to order the same service, saying she absolutely needed it today. I told her it would not be available until Tuesday, or Monday at the earliest. She sounded very surprised, and said she still needed it today.
At some point I should have said goodbye, since I was giving her consistently correct information and she didn’t seem to understand, but she asked me to call the central call center and ask them for the service. I didn’t do that exactly, but I did call a company help line and ask them to try to expedite the service. The problem is, the computer is programmed with certain delays, and nothing short of new software will speed things up, as far as anyone knows. After being bounced around a lot on the phone, some indulgent technical people tried to help me expedite the process in ways I think we all knew were useless. After these ways failed, I called the customer back and told her that there was nothing we could do.
Three hours later, she called me back, saying that what the central call center had done for her was useless. They gave her a different service which was available today, and she claimed they told her they were giving her the service she originally asked for. So the whole time, she was calling at least two different numbers, hoping to play us off against one another. Apparently the person at the call center misunderstood what she wanted and promised her the service would be available. So the customer asked to speak to a manager, and I found one, who told her exactly what I had been telling her over the previous several hours.
The epilogue is that an employee from our office is going to call the call center tomorrow (she doesn’t work weekends, she’s just being generous) and see if the service can be activated. I give this a 2% chance of success.
There are some totally annoying customers out there. Case in point: the customer who wanted me to put all the ingredients of his Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit in a Cinnamon Roll box, each separated by wax paper, so he could eat them separately. He didn’t want them exchanging food germs. :rolleyes:
But then again, there are some marvelous customers out there, too. They nearly made coming to work a joy. In a million tiny different ways, they made my job easier. I’ve had more of this type, and I think so have most of us who have done time in service-oriented jobs.
I have to agree. When I worked in retail I had to deal with some horrible customers, but I also had many who somehow managed to cheer me up during a bad shift. In my experience, the good customers always outnumbered the bad ones.
I do have quite a few stories I could tell about the bad ones, though.
I know this is kind of petty, but I am seriously annoyed with customers who refuse to look for a book themselves. The people who walk in and directly come to the counter and ask where a specific book is. Now, a lot of the time this is understandable, because maybe it’s a a very obscure book. But there are people who come in and want to know where the new Stephen King book is. Hello, it’s on display on that table you just walked past.
Today a woman came in and wanted to know where Barbara Kingsolver’s new book, The Poisonwood Bible is. This is an Oprah book, and it’s super popular, a huge bestseller. You think we’re hiding it somewhere? So I pointed out the huge sign saying “New Fiction”. So she walked over there and a few minutes later, she started gesturing wildly to me. It’s in alphabetical order, lady! If this is too difficult to figure out, I don’t know if you can read the book! So I go over and find the book in less than two seconds.
Now, I like most of my customers. I really, really do. Even this brain-dead lady was quite nice. But come on. Open your eyes!
In my days on the front lines (cashier at a grocery store), the “Could you check in the back” game always seemed to come up at times like this:
Customer: “You’re supposed to be having a special on Item X, but there’s none on the shelves.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir. People have been asking for it all day but we sold the last one in stock this morning. We’ll be getting more in the first delivery tomorrow morning, at the same price.”
Customer: “Are you sure you’re out? Couldn’t you check in the back?”
First off, we’re not hiding it. Think the manager would stand for pissing off customers by hiding a special? That’s no way to make money. If we had any, we would bring it out or lose our jobs. Second, no, <i>I</i> cannot go check in the back; I have a register to run and there are other customers already in line.
Another thing that bugs me to this day: If a customer asked, we would give them money back for their coupons rather than deduct them from their order. No big deal. The problem is that one family would take advantage of this. They’d pay for their order, bag it quickly, and then she’d run out with the kids, the groceries, AND the receipt while he handed me a big pile of coupons… for things they often hadn’t bought and sometimes even things we didn’t carry. I’d always call the manager and he’d say to give them the money for anything we carried. I hated to do that - this is theft! And the manager was telling me to let the customer steal! The reason I’d call the manager was in hopes of embarrassing the hell out of the guy, but it never worked.
just the other day a guest called my store (target) and wanted to return something (don’t remember what). fine, we do this all the time! we told her that we would be happy to return this if she could stop in, produce the receipt, and still be within the 90 day return policy. she was within the 90 days and she had the receipt but she refused to return to the store for her refund. “no, i will not come to the store because you sold me a defective product. you should come here and pick it up!” uhhh! when has even the 99 cent store done this? we told her “i’m sorry m’am but we do not have the resources to come and pick up your items. you will have to come in and return them yourself. (duh)” then she replied with, “why should i have to go out of my way because you’re stupid cashier sold me a product that was broken. it is your fault and you will have to pick it up or i will consult my lawyer!!” come to find out, she only lived 200 ft down the street. she could walk over and return her items for free but she insisted on spending the money for a lawyer! if her picture isn’t under the word stupidity in the dictionary, then i don’t know what is!
i’ll admit that there are guests that do come in and they brighten up your day and nothing else in the world can break that! but karma doesn’t work that way. you could have the best day in the world and would be willing to do anything for the guest. but there are those that would come in and destroy and pillage everything you felt earlier. that is the reality of customers.
Oh, we had a REAL winner today. Some woman bought shoes, and there was a sale-Ashley Taylor flats regular 9.99 were on sale for 4.99. Okay. Well, this woman had grabbed one pair that was for 14.99 and she said they should be on sale. So she took me back and showed me the sign, and I showed her where it said it was only the ones that were originally 9.99.
She flips out and wants to see my manager. Ed was around, and he’s only 23 and totally cool. So I got him and she’s going on and on about how we had better take the signs down, because she’s going to report us to the Better Business Bureau, how it was false advertising, because if it said that they were regular 9.99 and they were ringing up 14.99 (um, hello, look on the tags, you old HAG!) and she was going to come back with a camera…
Good god, lady, cram it up your fucking ass!
…but did anyone else read this post and picture Al Bundy coming home and saying “A fat lady came in the shoe store today…”
I’ve done my time in customer service, and frankly I believe it’s made me a better customer. I’m sure I’m speaking to the converted, but here’s a hint to the general public: You’ll get a lot farther if you’re polite to the sales people. PARTICULARLY those who don’t work on commission. I agree that there are some incompetent and even rude salespeople, but I’d guess that these are less than 5% of the ones you’ll interact with. Probably a LOT less than that.
Since there seem to be a number of booksellers around, I offer a poem by my co-worker Brian:
Can you help me find a Book?
I think it’s here
I didn’t look.
I think I saw it on that show
The one that has
that host, you know?
It’s yea wide and twice as big
and on the cover
there’s a pig.
Published by the House of Swank
The title has “The”
and then I blank.
The authors name escapes me now
I think an "e"s
involved some how.
I saw it last night on the net
So how come you ain’t
found it yet?
My favorite so far is the woman who looking for a book, no title, no author, thinks it was “about photography”, and (holding up another book) it was “this big”. And she got mad at me when I couldn’t find it.
I worked at a bookstore for about three years; it was a great family-owned bookstore unrelated to any of the big chain stores (unfortuately, it’s now out of business).
How enlightening it was to work in that place and see how humanity operates in a retail setting. Now most people were perfectly fine customers, and I didn’t have much trouble with them. But at least once a week, there was that one that was so mind-numbingly stupid that this person would be the talk of the staff for days afterwards.
One of my favorites was the person who came in asking for a book that had been recommended to him by a friend. He couldn’t remember the author or the title, nor could he remember the subject matter. But he could remember one highly important detail.
The book cover’s color was blue. :rolleyes:
I looked at him and said, “I’m afraid I’m going to need a little more information than that.”
He replied, sincerely, “What, that’s not enough for you?”
This wasn’t the only time that someone came in looking for a book by the color of its cover.
My experience in the bookstore was one of the reasons why I liked the movie “Clerks” so much. There’s a great scene in the movie where Randal talks about the video store customers that annoy the hell out of him. The best one was a customer saying, “Do you have that movie, that had that guy in it, that came out last year?”
Another great line from that movie: “This job would be great if it weren’t for all the f***ing customers.”
After spending my high school years working behind the counter of a little family-owned drugstore, I noticed that the more trivial the purchase, the more obnoxious people get whenever there’s a snag. People coming in right out of surgery with prescriptions for pain medication would usually just take a seat and wait quietly for their order to be filled. Granted, they were probably still too dazed and nauseous to cause much commotion. Cigarettes and lottery tickets, though, were another story.
If we were out of someone’s brand of smokes, the look of stunned horror on their faces was as if their doctor had just said “You just have a case of the flu, it’s nothing to worry about. I will need to amputate your left leg, though.”
The accusations that I was hiding an extra carton of (whatever this particular jerk’s favorite brand was), followed by the insistance that I check behind the counter for a fifth time.
People who would shell out $50 for instant tickets, scratch them all at the counter (always brushing the little silver shavings into the candy display), then blame me for giving them losing tickets. Yep, we know exactly where all the winners are and just save them for our friends.
The nightly lottery drawing was at 8:00. At 7:35, the state’s central central server stops accepting bets. The flood of obscenities, threats (I’m gonna sue you for my winnings!) and accusations I’ve received from customers whose bets were rejected would make the most dedicated BBQ Pit trolls blush.
My favorite, though, was the regular customer who would buy his lottery tickets, then hand me his old losing tickets and say with a smile, “take these, and shove 'em up your ass!” I gained some small degree of satisfaction when I learned that he was an unmarried 55-year-old who had never moved out of his parents’ basement.
And my girlfriend asks me why I’m so polite to clerks. :rolleyes:
okay, i know that everyone here has heard of the exciting new miracle that GOD has graciously granted to all of his beloved children. that miracle being PLAYSTATION 2. it’s as though everyone is in a hurry to spend their $300 before the guy next to him. i can’t wait 'till my 2 weeks are up at TARGET and i will never have to hear those irritable customers conversating about PLAYSTATION 2. for 3 weeks every friggen phonecall at work has been about PS2. everybody from a 5yr old (which i doubt has $300) to a woman who wouldn’t know the difference between a playstation and a chevrolet. i’m sick of it and i’ve gotta vent!
ring…ring…ring!
me: ELECTRONICS, how can i help you?
them: hi, i’m wondering about playstation 2.
me: ok. (keep in mind that i work for a very large and successfull corporation that prints out a weekly ad so simple that a blind whino can read it)
them: when does it come out? i don’t see it on the ad.
me: it’s on the front page next to the large bold letters saying “PLAYSTATION 2, $299.99. OUT OCT. 26”
THEM: oh there it is. how much is it going to be?
me: (.DUH.)
them: how many do you have?
me: (again, keep in mind, i’ve been saying this EXACT line for 3 weeks. you can imagine my patience)i have no
idea, sir
them: do you have reser…
me: no, we are NOT taking reservations. it’s strictly first-come, first-serve.
them: oh ok, well i was just wondering (HERE WE GO!!!) because my little nephew, who just turned 5 last thursday, wanted a playstation and i didn’t get it for him. well, he got good grades this year and his parents wanted to get it for him this christmas. he is such a good little boy. we went to the movies the other day and he didn’t want to see the movie i wanted to see. so we ended up seeing his movie instead. i really felt bad but i liked the movie we saw anyway. you know what i mean? (click) hello?
this really did happen. (except for the “click” part!) damn all those who worship sony videogame products! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!! ahhhhhhhh, i feel better!
Anyone who worked in children’s retail during the Christmas of the Tickle-Me-Elmo knows exactly why interactions with customers can suck harder than any other type of interaction in the world.
One woman, who mail-ordered one an entire week after the company’s deadline for guaranteed Christmas delivery had ended, called me bitching and ranting. That, I could deal with–I had been for weeks–but this charming example of humankind put her crying five year old son on the phone and had him ask me why Santa wasn’t going to be bringing him the toy he wanted since he’d been good all year. I wanted to explain to him that it had something to do with the fact that his mother is a repellent, soulless, consumer-driven douche bag but in the spirit of the holidays, I just said, “Because your mommy told him not to.”
