Having worked for two years in a retail store, and, more importantly, having successfully lived through the holiday season, I wish to share what I have learned.
I can smile pleasantly while explaining to the 50th customer today that the oh-so-cleverly disguised Customer Service desk I’m standing behind(and under the HUGE “Customer Services” sign) is in actuality … Customer Services and NOT a register. Now I realize a curved desk containing two computers and two phones is easily mistaken for a register, but can you really ignore the line of 20 people holding items waiting under the “Please Pay Here” sign? Yes, I can take your money, but you still need to purchase the item at the register. No, I’m sorry, we don’t have a special register for newspaper/magazine buyers.
I am able to direct people to the DVD section(“straight back under the DVD sign”) and the children’s section(“Straight back under teh children’s sign”) without sounding snotty. I can tell them with a perfectly straight face that Yes, I have a bathroom, and Yes, I actually do know where it is.
I can commiserate with them that the brand new book that came out yesterday is not available in paperback and will probably take 6 mos to a year (or more) until it does. And I’m sorry, but telling me that the book is new, was featured in a magazine/newspaper/morning show does not tell me what the book is. No I do not watch these shows/read all the magazines/newspapers and/or keep back copies of them.
Yes, we have a bestseller/new book display. No they are not every new book that has come out in the past 6 mos. No we don not have a list of the NYT bestsellers, but I will gladly sell you the Sunday NY Times.
But mostly what I have learned is this: Just when you think you’ve seen it all, some asshat comes up and proves that yes, there is always someone dumber in this world.