For the love of all that is holy...why can't you *BATHE*??

The BBQ Pit
1

We’re going through an audit right now, and I’ve apparently got some karmic ass-kicking coming, because the area that they’re focusing on right now is one I’m responsible for. That’s not really the bad part, though. The problem is that the auditor guy who keeps coming over to my cube to ask me questions has the absolute worst BO ever in history. I can’t figure it out. He’s a young, seemingly hip sort of guy. He dresses well, and from a distance would appear to be perfectly clean and respectable. But man…the stench.

He just left my cube, and I wish I had Lysol. The funk was emanating from him in waves that were practically visible to the naked eye. I think the air in my cube has the faintest tint of green now.

Urp.

Guys, please. I’m begging you. If you get up too late to shower before work, putting on clean clothes and slapping some gel in your hair isn’t fooling anyone. You still stink. Trust me.

[sub]…Is it time to go home yet??..::insert abject pleading whine and vomiting smiley here::…[/sub]

2

Assuming no medical problems, such lateniks should take daily showers in the evenings. Then, when feasible, keep the A/C running and the bedroom cool at night to minimize night sweating.

3

Have a chat with his supervisor. In my experience (four and a half years working for a major bank), auditors actually are pretty sensitive to the fact that their presence causes a big disruption in the functioning of the business unit, and the supervisor might agree with you that this kind of thing is stepping way over the line. Be polite but firm: if this guy is causing you to be physically ill because of his hygiene issues, say so. But, for God’s sake, make sure you take it up with the supervisor and document yourself. If you just talk to him, there’s no telling how things could come out.

4

Oh man, that happened to me at a movie once. I met a friend for a film festival, and as soon as I sat down I started smelling this reak. At first I thought it might be my friend, because he was veggie at the time and claimed he didn’t need to shower as much as a meat eater. Then I realized it was a guy right behind us who came in the same time I did. I had to breath shallowly through the whole first feature, then at intermission, thankfully he left.

I wonder what the people sitting next to him thought.

5

What if they thought it was YOU! :eek:

6

Apparently this guy must not have any really good friends – or else he’s really deluding himself.

Hate to admit this, but when I first met hubby he had a not-so-quaint odor all his own. Of course, he claimed he couldn’t smell it, and since he thought he didn’t smell, he never wore deodorant. He actually didn’t believe me until I stopped calling/speaking to him for about a week. That seemed to fix the problem real quick.

Maybe he is just underequipped in the olfactory department.

7

Last week I was walking down a hallway at work that someone stinky had apparently just walked down. The whole hallway stank, and the culprit was nowhere to be seen. Just my luck, at that moment, someone else comes into the hallway. I’m betting they assumed it was me.

Second-hand reek. Ugh.

Geeks in particular have a problem with this. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a comic shop with someone who has been stewing in his own juices for some time. Game stores too. I call it “geek reek” and it can clear a room.

8

Recently, I worked with a gentleman who took a shower about once a week, on weekends. At least, I assume he showered on weekends, because his gawdawful funk was less gut-wrenching on Mondays, and damn near debilitating on Fridays. He also had long hair and a severe dandruff problem. His work area was covered in grime and flakes. Grotesque. I think the entire lab cheered when his contract expired.

Of course, there’s always one… Now there is a guy whose odor is a little more subtle, but could be even worse than the last. Imagine faint wafts of week-old sun-cured roadkill that never go away. The other guy’s miasma was at least localized. This new guy’s stench pervades the entire room.

Ick.

Of course, I have a very sensitive sense of smell, so it may not be as bad for other people.

9

Ahh, we had a guy with a once-a-week shower policy (I assume of Sunday). Come Thursday/Friday, I found I had no critical issues with the website that required a face-to-face.

The thing that irrated the piss out of me was the fact he had the nerve to put up signs complaining about perfume, hairspray, etc. I asked him if he was allergic or asthmatic but he wasn’t. He just didn’t like the smell of fruity things.

10

Y’know, my dad is a very clean guy. Bathes every day, always wears clean clothes, uses deoderant regularly, just generally tidy. And he puts off a stench that could stun a buffalo at twenty paces. There’s quite simply nothing he can do about it. No mortal cologne can cover up this stink, unless used in quantities that would qualify him as a toxic dump according to current EPA guidelines.

If the guy in question is generally clean looking (clean clothes, non-greasy hair, lack of mysterious stains when he touches stuff) there’s a good chance that he’s in the same boat as my dad (and wouldn’t you hate to be stuck on that boat with 'em?) He might even be aware of how he stinks, and is probably already more than a little embarassed about it.

11

Miller, maybe your dad should try spraying Ozium air sanitizer on his clothes. It’s not a cover up, it really destroys odors like magic, and comes in a tiny pocket size spray can. I keep a can in my truck for emergencies.

12

my mother use to be like that, extremely clean, showers twice a day, actually quite paranoid about it, but boy did she reek.

in the end her doctor, after a whole host of medicated sprays failed to help, suggested surgery, something to do with removing the sweaty glandy things in her under arms. she now has two lovely scars under her arms but doesnt smell.

13

I was going to bring this up. I new a guy who fortunately didn’t have a bad odor, but he would have to change shirts at least twice during the workday because his underarm sweat glands were like Niagara Falls. No matter how cool it was, you’d think he’d been working on a chain gang in a South American jungle. His sides would be so soaked even the top of his pants would get damp (that’s if he didn’t change his shirt).

He always brought 2 or 3 extra shirts, a towel and rubbing alcohol to wipe down his armpits and sides to cut down on odor and help evaporate sweat. This is probably why he didn’t smell bad despite the litres of sweat – the alcohol killed the stink-making bacteria.

He had that surgery to remove sweat glands and it solved his problem. (I always wondered how he managed not to get dehydrated back in his supersweat days.)

14

Just in case a really smelly police officer stops you?

That’s NOT the way to prevent getting ticketed young man

15

This reminds me of a schooll concert I went to last friday. Someone in the audience was reeking to high heaven and my friend and I were trying to find the culprit. And this stench had the slightest tinge of urine. Great, we get to sit next to someone who has both a B.O. and a bladder problem :rolleyes:

16

I remember this girl back in school who stank so bad, that it was hard to concentrate when she was in one of your classes. She was the sweetest girl you could ever meet, very pretty, helpful whenever someone asked (but we rarely did). I’m convinced she wondered why she didn’t have more friends.

Not an easy task but a friend and myself decided to talk to her, for her and for us. Finally sat her down, and we asked about her hygiene regimen. I was shocked to discover that she took a bath once a week because that’s how it’s done in her family, and she washed her hair once a week. The worst part was that it was two per bathwater (4 kids and two adults). I heard stories like that in my grandparents time, not nowadays.

We gave her tips on how to take care of herself, explaining that a bath/shower a day was the norm but every other day would be a big improvement. We made sure we were as nice as possible when we told her. She cried, we felt bad but she did thank us later on… and there was a big improvement!!

17

We got two issues here, boys and girls:

1) Bad hygiene
OK, we all agree this is sad, whether through carelessness or ignorance. Not everyone needs to shower daily, but certainly everyone should shower/bathe/whatever frequently enough to not offend those around them. For some, that might be a minimum of every couple of days (if they catch the pits in the morning and any other especially stinky bits). For most, every day or every other day. For some, more often than that.

2) Bad biology
Some folks have overactive sweat glands. Some folks have some weird biochemistry that just makes them reek no matter what they do (I had a boyfriend once who, for about 4 months, stank to high heaven even right after a shower) If they’re lucky, it’s temporary.

But some medical conditions can cause distinctive and nasty odors. Kidney disease, for instance, can manifest some impressive stench. So can cancer. Certain skin disorders can result in body odor strong enough to stun a rhino (John Merrick used to bathe at least twice a day, yet his personal atmospheric effects were frequently commented upon by those around him - and that in Victorian England, where bathing once a week or far less than that was common and deodorant unknown). A cut, rash, boil, or infection in the skin under the arms can make it impossible for a person to wear deodorant, which may cause problems for even those who normally smell quite acceptable. (I’ve occaissionaly suffered from underarm skin infections, which makes me extremely paranoid about odor, which just makes me sweat more… I wind up washing the pits at least twice a day and trying very hard not to engage in physical exertion)

And, for those unfortunate enough to have a olfactory disfunction, they may simply be unaware of their objectionable miasma.

I think, sometimes, when a person appears to have adequate grooming one must simply stand upwind in order to maintain civility. Unless you have a close enough relationship to be able to discuss the problem but man, you have to be REAL careful about that!

18

I use this stuff I get at the health food store called ‘Lavilin’. Its a once-a-week deodorant that works (supposedly) by killing the bacteria under your arms that causes the stench…

You put it on at night before you go to bed and wash it off in the morning - works all week. I love it.

19

It’s not nice to assume that the guy doesn’t bathe. I shower every morning and I pretty much reek to high Hell by 11:30 a.m.

20

Scylla are you involved in any dangerous/laborious activity
(e.g. smuggling diamonds/porn-marketeering/pro-bodybuilder/athlete)?