ok can anyone describe to me in detail about giving birth, all the painful things, such as needles, etc and stitches after giving birth?? i have always been scared to have kids due to these reasons. because i think it is painful as hell. can u still urinate alright after? when u dialate it probably hurts. whats the best way you can describe the feeling? they probably stick tubes all in your body? umbilical cord does it hurt to cut it? the part between your vagina and anus, do they slice it if you dont dialate enough???i am so scared…sigh* i cant imagine many grandmothers who have had 8 or more children back in the day…
Could you please give your threads more descriptive titles, and email a mod about changing the title of this one? Thanks.
well… I had two kids, one in the hospital and one at home… the one at the hospital was more painful overall cause I was so scared and nervous and etc. etc…plus (and this is not the place for it) I have a real beef with many hospital birthings…
urniation is usually kinda painful right after, but honestly you prob’ly won’t even feel the need for a few hours, minimum. My midwife made me go about 3 hours after, and it stung like fire, but that didn’t last too long. the dilation didn’t hurt a bit, but the contractions sure weren’t a fun day in the park.
it doesn’t hurt anyone when the umbilical cord is cut, and they don’t cut the perineum if you don’t DILATE enough… if you don’t DILATE enough and are in a hospital, chances are you’re gonna have a c-section. They WILL do an episiotomy if it looks like you’re going to majorly tear… the vagina is quite stretchy, but baby’s heads are generally HUGE… A lot of things can affect whether or not this will be done, including head size, position of mom, breech birth vs head down, etc. with my midwife, no episiotomy, a little tearing but that healed quite nicely, and more quickly than it would have had I had stitches.
The only time you get tubes and needles put in you is if you’re in a hospital (ie if you get an epidural, you generally get catheterized…)
as far as the best way to describe the feeling of a contraction… umm… for me, (it’s different for everyone) it was like a really really strong menstruel cramp. That didn’t ever completely go away… the first time, I felt things even when things weren’t happening, mostly cause I was so uptight. The second time around I worked on relaxing and keeping my mouth shut. I’ve noticed a lot of ladies like to yell and thrash quite a bit, and I can’t see how that could possibly help them feel any better.
Relaxation is the key to pain-relief…drugs are fine and all, but you tend to have more complications with them, and besides, a lot of those grandmothers with eight kids didn’t have the “miracle” of an epidural. I’m not trashing epidurals, in fact I liked the one I got quite a bit… but I would’ve done just as good relaxing in a warm bath, and I would’ve been able to walk after that.
hehe fujerica thanks so much for answering all my questions i always really wanted to know more about it, but was hard to find on the net anything detailed about the pain anyway, so thanks so much
“because i think it is painful as hell.” For me, I didn’t find childbirth as painful as all that. There are easy births as well as harde ones. I had a very easy delivery with my first. I was only in labor for 7 hours and, as I said, it wasn’t so very bad.
“can u still urinate alright after?” Sure, I could. It stung a bit right at first, but after a few days I was good as new.
“when u dialate it probably hurts.” I couldn’t feel the dilation at all. My first clue that I was in labor was when my water broke – which didn’t hurt, either, BTW. By that time, I’d been dilating for a while, apparently, and didn’t even know it.
“whats the best way you can describe the feeling?” Contractions felt, to me, like strong mentrual cramps. The ‘strength’ of the contractions, increased, BTW. At first, they were milder and they became stronger and stronger until the actual birth.
“they probably stick tubes all in your body?” Not for me. I didn’t even have an IV. But I was well hydrated when I came in and had, as I said, a short labor.
“umbilical cord does it hurt to cut it?” Couldn’t feel that at all.
“the part between your vagina and anus, do they slice it if you dont dialate enough???” I did have an episiotomy. I couldn’t feel the cut at all – I suppose because the tissue was stretched taut by then. The episotomy wound was the worse part of healing, BTW. It hurt for several days and itches for a few days longer than that. Still, it wasn’t agonizing, and the discomfort I had only lasted a few days. BTW, my mom had some tearing with me (her first child) and she said recovering from an episiotomy was much better than recovering from tearing.
“i am so scared…sigh* i cant imagine many grandmothers who have had 8 or more children back in the day…” Well, it is scary. But, if you’ll allow me tje cliche – you forget the worst of it once the baby actually born… I never believed in love at first sight until they handed me my son almost 17 years ago.
Now, as I said, I had a very easy birth experience with my son. Some people have a much harder time. Just don’t go thinking that a c-section is a great way to avoid dealing with labor. I had an emergency c-section with my daughter (second child) and, while it was completely neccesary and saved her life, the recovery was much, MUCH worse than my recovery from my son’s birth.
I’m sorry. I don’t actually have any children yet but can I also ask a question? How soon afterwards can a couple have sex again? Are things changed in anyway afterwards in this regard?
I know I can find this sort of thing out from a book but I would trust someone who’s actually been through it more and isn’t trying to ‘sell’ the idea to someone who’s already pregnant if you know what I mean. I know this is kind of a side issue and having a child is the main object but I’m still curious as to how this can affect a couple’s relationship nonetheless.
I’ve had two kids, one unmedicated delivery and one delivery with gas that probably didn’t help much anyway. I’ll try to explain what’s going on and add some comments from my own experience. Keep in mind that labor is a very individual experience - the same woman might have two very different labors.
The part of your body that dilates during labor is your cervix, which is at the bottom of your uterus. You might be able to just feel it by sticking a finger as deep as you can into your vagina. It feels a bit like the pad of cartilege at the tip of your nose. Don’t worry if you don’t feel anything there, not all women can. The first, and longest, part of labor opens the cervix until the opening is about ten centimeters (four inches) across. Many women say these contractions feel like menstrual cramps, only a lot stronger. I didn’t think they did, to me it felt more like my pelvis was caught in some sort of vise that was tightened and then released. They tend to get gradually stronger and closer together, though even at the end there’s usually a break between them.
If your cervix doesn’t dilate, your doctor or midwife is likely to try a medicine called pitocin first. Pitocin is a synthetic version of the hormone that controls most of the labor process. It can speed labor or re-start a stalled labor, but it also makes contractions stronger and less predictable. If the medicine doesn’t work, then you’ll probably have a C-section. But actually, I’ve never heard of an emergency C-section for that reason.
Once your cervix is dilated, labor switches over to what’s known as the transition phase. Most women find that this is the hardest phase. The contractions are at their hardest, and the hormones are raging. Even your mind goes a bit nuts. This is the stage when women shout nasty things at the men they love, or say they don’t want to have this baby after all and they want to go home. (The delivery room crew has heard it all before.) Fortunately, it’s also the shortest part of labor.
Then it’s time to push, and this really varies from one woman to another. With my first, it didn’t even hurt. I just got mad at the midwife, who was trying to tell me when to push and when to breathe even though it didn’t match up with what my body was making me do. I decided to ignore her. I had a small episiotomy (cut), which this midwife said she did for every first-time mom. I did not like this midwife. With my second baby, born at the end of a long and unpleasant pregnancy, I couldn’t wait to get this over with. I pushed hard and often, harder and more often than I felt the urge to do really, and it hurt something fierce - “the ring of fire”, it’s called. I also tore pretty badly, in two directions (backwards and sideways). Getting sewn up seemed to take forever, and the whole area hurt like a nasty brushburn so I didn’t want the midwife to touch me at all. She was gentle and encouraging, though.
The umbilical cord has no nerves, so it doesn’t hurt when it’s cut. The placenta (the part that attatches to the uterus) comes off on its own. Once the baby has made its way out, everything is “open” so far that the placenta and the rest of the afterbirth just slides through. I was so preoccupied with the baby I barely noticed it either time.
The only needle I had either time was a shot of pitocin after the baby was out. This is common, to help the uterus contract and prevent heavy post-partum bleeding, which is a nasty situation. No tubes, no IVs, they’re not standard procedure in Norwegian hospitals. Some hospitals don’t want the mother to eat or drink, and in that case they’ll give her an IV.
Peeing hurt for about twelve hours after both kids were born - not that you feel much urge at that point! Actually that first bowel movement was a lot worse. It wasn’t extremely painful but it feels very close to pushing the baby out and it’s just WEIRD. The nurses will probably tell you how to press against the perineum (the area between the vagina and the anus) if you had stitches, so you don’t accidentally rip anything when you push the poo out.
If you think you would like to have a baby but are scared about labor, talk with your doctor. There’s a lot that can be done to help you prepare and to help you deal with the pain when you’re actually in labor. It would be a real pity to deprive yourself of something you’d like to do because of something that can be fixed, y’know?
With my first son, the doctor told me to wait 6 weeks before resuming “relations”. I don’t know if things were changed from the male POV (tightness, etc.) but for me it was definitely a bit uncomfortable the first few times. It goes away though, and within–oh, I’d say three or four months–there was no lingering afteraffects.
As to the episiotomy–I had one and like Jess said you don’t feel them doing it at all. That was one of the parts I was most afraid of, and the only way I knew it was being done (other than the doc telling me he was doing it, of course) was that my husbands eyes got super wide and he turned white as a sheet. Later, he said there was a LOT of blood when the cut was made, but like I said–I didn’t feel a thing.
Contractions hurt. I won’t lie. I had an unmedicated birth, but I had to have pitocin administered after over 30 hours of relatively unproductive labor, so my contractions were probably a bit more intense than “normal” ones would be. Pushing, while painful, at least felt productive. You had a task to focus on, and it was exciting to know that all the waiting and wondering would be over so soon. The actual birth is impossible to describe. Getting the head out was the hard part, and once that’s done you’re so wide open that the rest pretty much slithers out on it’s own. A very odd sensation.
The one “surprise pain” I encountered that I wasn’t expecting at all was after my son was already out. The doctor kind of squooshes your abdomen to help expell the placenta and I actually kicked him in the arm out of reflexive shock.
Recovery–any stiches/tearing will be tender for a while. You have to be really careful to wash well after urinating (they give you a little squirty bottle to use) and sitting for long periods isn’t recommended for a few days. Also, your abdominal and pelvic muscles are very sore. Imagine doing 600 crunches, 400 squats, and running a marathon all in the same day–the next day you’re going to have some serious muscle ache. But it all goes away fairly quickly, and you’re so busy those first couple weeks being enchanted with your new baby that it goes by pretty fast.
Too many young women have been scared by completely irrelevant horror stories. As you’ve seen by these posts, actual delivery bears little or no relation to all the nonsense you see in movies and television. These days, between the preparation you can get in Lamaze and similar classes, and the medications available to be used when necessary, you really do not have much to worry about. Remember that all the dramatic accounts you hear and see on TV and in the movies are just that – drama.
Sometimes people who want to scare you or make their own experience dramatic will brag about having spent a long time in labor. What they often don’t tell you is that during the vast majority of that time they were completely comfortable. I’ll give you what my timetable was. Around 6 p.m. one night I started feeling some cramps every 20 minutes or so. Each contraction lasted only a few seconds. Very mild, hardly noticeable, nowhere near as annoying as a menstrual cramp. But it was technically the start of labor. By midnight the contractions were a bit longer and maybe 10 minutes apart. It was at this point that my husband noticed that I was writing stuff down (I was recording the time & length of each contraction), and that’s the first time he realized things might be getting down to business. We finished watching the late show around 1:00. About 2:00 my water broke and we went to the hospital. Later the contractions increased to about 20 - 30 seconds in length, every 5 minutes or so. This is what I mean by being mostly comfortable. For 4 1/2 minutes nothing, no discomfort at all, then maybe a half minute of a contraction. This gradually increases until the last phases where the contractions are quite close together. But usually you get at least a slight “breather” between them. It is not a time of constant pain. My baby was born around 6 A.M. I didn’t need any drugs at all except for a local anaesthetic for the episiotomy, which I didn’t even notice.
As far as pain goes, I can think of several things that are much worse, which people don’t make such a big deal over: A three-day sinus headache. A toothache. An ear infection. All of these are really intense pain that goes on and on, and doesn’t stop for a minute. Childbirth? No comparison, and you get a wonderful result! Afterwards, I felt tired, but then I had been up all night and worked hard. But I was so exhilarated and happy I could not sleep all day!
To the young lady who asked about marital relations after a birth: Timing will usually be advised by your doctor, but a wait of 6 weeks until things are healed up is usually advised. One of the real adjustments is not physical at all. There’s a big change adjusting to being a parent as well as a partner. You have to devote a great deal of time and energy to the new life you have created together; as a result you are often tired and you have to put off things you’d like to do instead. There is often an adjustment period where both parents learn to deal with this. In the best of circumstances you are both mature enough emotionally to do so. Sometimes men become jealous of the time and affection that used to be theirs alone and now must be shared.
Just chiming in to say that I can’t answer any of the op’s questions but I am pregnant with my second child.
I was all geared up for a vaginal delivery but the baby went into fetal distress and I ended up with a C Section. Baby number two will also be C Section for various reasons as well.
What I wanted to add is that birth is a very personal experience as everyone above has stated. Whatever you think is going to happen probably won’t. When they told me things were going bad quickly and I needed surgery I was terrified and really none of it was as horrible as my imagination made me think it would be.
When you are ready to start a family find an OB that you feel comfortable with and who is willing to answer all of your questions and explain things to you in a way you understand and feel good about.
Everybody’s given you great advice already, but I just wanted to add a couple of things (sorry if I repeat anything that’s already been said!).
I’ve had two children, both hospital births. The first time I gave birth, I had an epidural in the hospital, as it was quite a long labour. It worked brilliantly (I couldn’t feel the contractions at all, but could still move my legs), but I was told that it does tend to make your labour longer because you have more trouble at the pushing stage due to not being able to feel the contractions. This labour lasted about 27 hours from start to finish, although it was only 7 hours that I was in the hospital.
The best way I can describe contractions is that they are like severe period pains / cramps, but as someone mentioned earlier, warm baths are great for easing these pains.
I didn’t have an episiotomy with either of them, but did tear slightly during both labours - to be honest I didn’t even notice, and when they were stitching me up the first time I didn’t even feel it because of the epidural.
The second labour was only 2 hours from start to finish, and I didn’t have time to have any drugs, so I just did it naturally. This did hurt - I won’t lie - but he was almost 10lbs in weight! When I think back to both the labours now I do truly think that if I had another baby I would do it naturally again (with no drugs) - it was so much quicker and I was much more in control of my body.
If I had to define the worst bit, I think it would be when the baby’s head crowns - you do get a burning sensation, and it does feel like you’re doing a massive poo! But that doesn’t normally last long, and you know you’re near the end then.
As for recovery, if you’ve had stitches they will be tender - lavender oil in the bath works wonders, as does pouring warm water over the area while you’re urinating (I think someone already mentioned that). As for sex, I waited 6 weeks and it was a bit painful, but that soon stopped and it didn’t feel any different to before.
The main thing I wanted to say was that although childbirth is painful, it’s different to say, the pain you get when you cut yourself. There’s a purpose to it, and you know that it will end eventually. Also, by the time baby is about 6 months old, you’ve conveniently forgotten how bad the pain was - that’s why people go on to have more than one child!
(Now I’ve looked back on the previous posts, I can see I have repeated some of what the others have said, but it took me so long to write this post, I just can’t go back and change it all! 
I was terrified at the thought of labor a year ago when I first found out I was pregnant. So, I educated myself as much as possible. I took classes, read everything I could and in general prepared myself as much as I could.
The contractions were pretty bad, bad enough to bring me to my knees. I had read if you can relax and let your body do it’s job it will help, but I just couldn’t. Nothing really helped, not massage, not demerol and not the hot shower. I had intended to go drug-free, but after 16 hours of labor and I hadn’t progressed hardly at all I quickly changed my mind. Combined with no sleep I just couldn’t handle it. They gave me an epidural and broke my water. When that still didn’t move things along they gave me pitocin. When I saw the monitor I was very happy to have the epidural. The jump in contractions was crazy!
At around 10:00 pm (I had been in the hospital since 8:00 and contracting since the previous morning) they realized the baby was OP. this means instead of tucking the chin the baby was looking up (or out, depending on how you look at it). They opted, at around 2:00 AM to try forceps (the baby was fine, I was spiking a fever). When that didn’t work I had a C-section.
Recovery wasn’t too bad, as long as you remember what has happened to you. It’s not going to feel good, but it’s not too bad either. First pee wasn’t a problem, first poop was. The biggest thing? you can’t push, at all, so you have to just let it fall out. Also, carry a pillow with you for your first sneeze YOWZA!
Sex the very first time was uncomfortable. Keep in mind most nursing moms tend to be dry, so prepare by having something handy.
the next time was great, and the times after that.
:smack: Forgot the most important thing-
The very next day (still sore and swollen, memory fresh) I looked at my daughter and knew I would do it all again, right then if I had to.
It’s just so worth it
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good for you for asking. The best thing you can do is educate yourself.
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Consider hypnotherapy. Not only is it good for resolving fears (!!), it is also very good for pain management, to the point that it is recommended by the Harvard Medical School for all surgical procedures (as a standard offering, not necessarily mandatory) - in their clinical study, it reduced need for pain meds, reduced side effects, increased relaxation, reduced post-surgical (in your case, post-birth) pain, reduced actual quantities of anesthesia meds needed, and so forth. Many women go into a natural hypnotic state in labor anyway, might as well be able to control it!
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As everyone has said, everyone is different. Every labor is different. Every mom is different, and so is every baby. The combinations are pretty well endless. So, if you are going to read other people’s stories, or listen to them, listen to many, not just a few. And keep in mind that the people who need to talk most about their experiences are those who have healing still to do, either emotional or mental or even spiritual. So you’ll hear the worst more often than the best. Even online.
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Relaxing does help. But keep in mind that all the natural coping methods are not ‘just up and do them’ things at this point - we are too reliant on drugs to have developed the near-instictive reactions you need in labor. My advice is to train for natural, and really train for it, even if you want meds. We’re talking take the long classes (4-12 weeks), and practice at least a few times a week. Meds don’t always work, and they do carry small (but sometimes serious) risks, so being able to shorten the time you have to rely on them is ideal. Train means practice, and not just from the hospital’s ‘lamaze’ class. Get a certified Lamaze class (many sessions and lots of practice), or do hypnotherapy (fewer sessions but also lots of practice), or Bradley (many sessions, lots of practice), or Birthing from Within (also lots of practice, and also very good for dealing with fears). Even if you practice your behind off, you may find that it isn’t enough. Being scared and taken by surprise by the forces taking over your body can really throw you, as can the unexpected in your labor process. Be prepared for whatever you end up needing (meds included), and you’ll find yourself in way better shape, mentally and emotionally and physically and spiritually, no matter what you end up experiencing.
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Hire a doula. Please, please, please, consider this strongly. They do really help, they reduce your tension and fear, answer questions, provide physical help and support, and allow your partner to focus on just being your partner, not the ‘expert’. Your chances of a c-section drop significantly with a trained doula - and having a nurse at your side does not have the same effect (clinical trials have shown that).
My experience:
First labor, used Bradley Method. Long slow labor, not terribly intense most of the time, as long as I stayed relaxed. And I mean not even a crinkle on my forehead or the back of my hand tensed. UTTERLY relaxed. Tense up, and ‘OW!’ Relax, and ‘effort’, hard work, enough to make me sweat, but not OW! But it still didn’t work right, because my son was not lined up properly. After 66 hours of managing just fine but ending up exhausted, we looked at our options and chose an epidural. I don’t regret it at all, though I did end up with scads of side effects, including increasing heart tone problems in my son (went to zero briefly, though bounced back with scalp massage). The meds didn’t take everywhere, made my legs numb logs because the drip didn’t work and they had to top me up every 2 hours, and many other things (itching, swelling, the list is pretty long). Still, it permitted me to sleep, and permitted me to turn my body in ways that had been too uncomfortable to consider before, which got my son to turn to the right position, and voila! Vaginal birth at 80 hours along, thanks to medical intervention (all other interventions having been properly tried). Mighty tired later, but a very good birth. Pain was a 6 out of 10 (10 being breaking my ankle) for labor, unless I tensed, when it was about an 8-9 out of 10. Good support during the pushing stage plus somewhat stretchier-than-average tissues meant no tear, and no episiotomy (My mom has had both, and swears tears, even big ones, hurt way less than episiotomies - at least for her, 3 tears, 3 episiotomies, and one neither, IIRC). Afterwards, peeing was difficult (I recommend leaning forward) and burned slightly, like washing a scrape with medication. The first poop is pretty fierce - like leaning hard on a badly bruised and torn muscle, plus a bit. Stool softeners are your friend!!! Rinse often with warm water (they’ll give you a squirt bottle), and it helps. Sitz baths also help (sitting in hot medicated water). Breasts were inflamed like a fever, and pretty sore for three days. Afterpains (cramps to reduce uterus to original size) were noticable but not bad. Oh, and the epidural was nothing, feeling-wise - your back has remarkably few nerves at the surface.
Birth 2: Used hypnotherapy (trying to get a shorter labor, for some strange reason… 
). Initial contractions were not noticable (didn’t realize I was in labor, really, thought they were just practice, but had already gone to 4.5 cm before I could really feel them). Was treated poorly by the staff at the hospital, given pitocin, and even with the extra tension and the pit, NO PAIN for labor. And I mean NO PAIN. Hypnotherapy worked really well. This is not to say that there was no work involved. It is still really hard work, period, no matter what way you go. But it was mental work, intense and focussed, all the way. Only pain was crowning burn, which was not terrible, but definitely there (had that for the first, too). Total labor time, 4.5 hours from first ‘okay, time to pay attention’ contraction to birth, and that ‘no pain’ thing included progressing from 4.5 cm to 10 cm in 40 minutes - usually that’s a super-intense ride, and while it was intense, when I hit transition I asked for an epidural because I thought I couldn’t relax my back enough to dilate… not for pain, mind you. :rolleyes: Fortunately, there were sane people present, and I was checked for dilation before they proceeded.
I will never ever ever ever do labor without hypnotherapy again. No side effects from the meds (because I didn’t have any), and no pain, too. It doesn’t work perfectly for everyone, but it works very well for most (so far, all the other classmates I spoke to said it worked as well as meds or better, comparing labors - except for the one who had back labor, and even then it helped a lot). Afterwards, felt punched between the legs - swollen and bruised, but not battered. Peeing still burned, and the first poop wasn’t fun, but was over soon. Afterpains were a bear (way worse than labor). Breasts inflamed for two weeks instead of three days, ouchies (advil is my friend!). Again, didn’t tear, wasn’t cut.
Learn what you can, now. It will help. Good books for reference include “A good birth, a safe birth” and “The Birth Partner”. Both will give you strategies to apply for different situations (the latter is for your partner/coach, really). And trust your body. If you let it, it can really help you. They’re really amazing things, our bodies. We really are evolved critters, and labor is not ‘designed’ (as inappropriate as the term is) to be a terror and a torment. Uncomfortable, yes. But not normally traumatic. We just have not developed the skills as a culture, and as individuals, to ease the process, because we rely on our tools - but the tools have issues, too. Using both is best - learn to use your body as it was designed, by using your own endorphins and relaxation and capacity for altered states of mind (that ‘labor zone’), and supporting any dysfunctions that occur in your specific case with the medicine side if you need to.
Good luck, and feel free to email if you want more specifics about hypnobirthing - I even have info on how to tell if you will be a good candidate for hypnotherapy.
Well, I am an epidural girl, both times, so I can tell you that I had no pain during the actual birth. My early labor hurt, a lot. Breathing helped my stay on top of the contractions for a little while, but then it stopped working and it hurt a lot.
I have no trouble peeing, and I am not incontinent. Sometimes when I think I’m done, I have more, though. That didn’t happen before the kids.
My epidural was already in place when I had my episiotomy, never felt a thing. Afterwards, I sat on an icepack for the first 24 hours and it healed nicely, though not without some pain. The stitches dissolved on their own in a couple of weeks.
We could have sex again 6 weeks after the birth, which is normal for a delivery with no complications. I think both docs gave me an extra sticth when they closed the episiotomy, because wow! Talk about “like a virgin!” Enough said.
Setting the epidural hurt, especially during contractions when I wanted to squirm. An epidural is not a spinal. Let me say that again- an epidural is not a spinal. I know so many women who were scared of a needle in their spinal column that they chose not to have it. My epidural was lovely- no more pain but I could still push and be present for the whole experience without cursing it. I was numb from the waist down.
There are no nerves in the umbilical cord. Unless someone announces the procedure, you won’t even know they’ve done it.
Passing the placenta doesn’t hurt at all. I donated mine to a research study and donated my cord blood as well.
Having your water break can be kinda gross, especially if it “goes a gusher!” Some people have a big rush of fluid, others a trickle, still others like me never have it break at all. They broke mine in the hospital, it didn’t hurt at all, just a push and a tug and I was all wet!
Tubes- I had one IV with two shunts, one for saline and one for pitocin just in case. I couldn’t get the IV out until I had gotten myself to the bathroom twice, which was a long time because my epidural wore off really slowly.
Having your cervix dialate is no picnic, but it’s not as scary as you think. Lots of women get very nauseous, which is how they know it’s happening. My first baby, I didn’t dialate at all, until I’d been in labor for about 20 hours (not pushing labor, don’t worry!). Once I dialated, I pushed three times and the baby fell out. The second time, I was only in labor about 6 hours and pushed maybe four times.
If you are scared of the process, try practicing first. Do you have a relative or friend who will let you be in the delivery room with her? My sister-in-law was totally freaked out by the idea of birth, so she came in for my second delivery. She was fascinated and it went a long way towards aleiviating her fears.
A normal vaginal delivery is not scary, it’s awesome. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
A coworker once told me that when her cousin had a baby she was allowed to take her own placenta home, boil it, season it, then eat it. She said because it’s healthy for you.
Realized I missed a few:
Dilation of the cervix feels like… hmmm… boy, that’s a hard one. for me, something like the type of sensation you get when you try to stretch a muscle that is cramping (like a foot cramp or calf cramp), but not nearly so painful.
If you mean crowning (head actually exiting the body), as it starts, the head is pressing on a nerve so you can’t really feel a lot (usually), but as the head gets farther out, you get what is called a ‘ring of fire’ - if you grab the corners of your mouth and pull, eventually the stretching feels like a burning sensation. You get that in a ring.
Head going under the pubic bone (the tightest part of the squeeze) is for me the most intense part. It is a lot like someone leaning a bony part against another part of you that is bony - sharp sense of focus on that place, though the pain is more of a HEY QUIT IT than a AHHH RUN AWAY! for me.
IV lines - I hate them, but one time was good, one time was bad. Depends on who you get. Otherwise, I didn’t much notice any tubes and such. (And clearly YMMV on the epidural placement - it wasn’t an issue at all for me, but was certainly for others here!)
Umbilical cord question has been handled in an earlier post.
Perineum = the part between your vagina and anus - they slice it only if A) they are in a hurry, or generally prefer to do them because they learned to do it that way, and you didn’t explicitly tell them not to, B) they feel you are going to tear in a way that will be very bad (like upwards or sideways), or C) they need to get baby out fast for a valid medical reason. Generally, if it is B or C, you won’t care. But you can also handle B by changing positions and/or changing support - if you are not too medicated to feel the ring of fire, you can tell if something is burning too much (there’s burn, and there’s too much burn), and you can also tell if there is a location that is burning more than the rest (precursor to tearing), which they can then put counter-pressure on to reduce the risk of tearing. Good support during the birth (physically supporting the tissues, like with a warm compress), and perineal massage from 34 weeks of pregnancy really reduces the risk of tearing and the need for cutting.
Oh, and it really is worth it. Even after that long first labor, when I was wiped out, I’d have done the whole thing again RIGHT THEN, for my son. It is so much more than worth it!
(Also, ditto on the ‘having to learn to be a parent and a partner’ and the reworking of your partnership to handle the needs of a baby and the intense love that occurs - it is hard to keep track of your partner’s needs under those conditions, but it is important to do so - not sex, but love, affection, and a recognition that you are in this together.)
So General Question-wise, are we pretty much done here?
Yeah, I can’t imagine popping out 8 kids either. But it’s not like they had a choice back then.
A sidenote: two of the reasons I had such a bad labor (besides my OB being an ESB, see above), was because I sat on my ass the whole 9 months. I didn’t exercise. You have GOT to walk! Another reason I was so unprepared is because I thought the epidural would take care of everything – so I didn’t bother with lamaze or any other coping mechanism. Big mistake. Exercise lots when you get preggers and go in there armed with every coping strategy you can think of. Don’t assume that the epidural will completely numb you – it might, then again it might only numb you halfway, and then you might be really lucky and have to turn it down because it’s weakening the contractions.