My dad was in the military, and I take advantage of some of the services (e.g. insurance through USAA) that cater to military families. Over the past 10-15 years I’ve seen a shift in the assumptions people make when faced with my insurance info, etc. They used to correctly assume that I was a dependent, then they started assuming I was in the service myself, and now they assume I’m a former servicewoman.
I’m not sure if that last one is based solely on my age or if it’s also because I’m not in very good shape anymore, but either way it’s depressing.
People front load a compliment with the words “You’ve still got…”. As in, “You’ve still got great legs” or “You’ve still got great hair”. Cause the rest of you…is not great.
When you were young, you’d laugh to see your grandma, in her recliner in front of the TV, dozing off late in the afternoon. Now, you only wish your recliner was as comfy as grandma’s.
You go shoe shopping and notice that Dr. Scholl’s actually has some not unattractive footwear!
Elastic waist on pants? Whyever did you think it was a bad thing???
You’re watching several episodes of a TV show with your visiting 20 year old stepdaughter. The episodes feature a particularly attractive actor in his late 20’s. Stepdaughter’s reaction: “He’s hot…I’d hit that.” Your reaction: “Aww, he’s adorable!”
It was when I watched Lynch’s version of Dune. I thought that the actor who played Paul was cute, but the one who played Leto was more attractive to me.
I kid you not, I once had a person in my care whom we had to untuck her breasts from the high waisted adult briefs we put on her. She had a significant crying problem… like cried for hours on end, sometimes went days without stopping. Personally I would cry too if my nipples fell into my diaper.
And its corollary. You introduce a teenage girl to the awesomeness of Doctor Who and when you ask, ''Isn’t David Tennant dreamy?" the girl replies, ''No way. He’s old!"
Ooh, that reminds me. I was at the hairdresser’s a couple of weeks ago, and asked if she had caught the series Sherlock. She hadn’t, so I called up an image of Benedict Cumberbatch on my iPhone, thinking she might think he was hot too. She looked and said, “Oh, yeah, I know about him - my mom thinks he’s good-looking.” Hairdresser is about 35.
She then called up an image of who she and the other hairdressers were aching for at the moment: Tatum somebody-or-other. She showed me the image and I thought he looked like a greasy thugpunk.
Sigh. And here I thought Cumberbatch was the young woman’s heartthrob of the moment. Apparently he only appeals to us crones.
Your new doctor’s assistant asks if you are on any medication, and when you say “No,” she’s impressed and compliments you on not having to take any daily pills. Yet.
