My partner and I use the word Screwtapian constantly, to describe aspects of our modern state that seem designed by demons specifically to torment mankind. A common fun example is listening to a corporate telephone robot while you wait for a human. The worst part of the experience, I’ve decided, is the falsely cheerful chirpiness of every voice actor they hire to record the sentences. It would be far more humane, ironically, to have a flat toneless voice that actually sounded like the robot it is, but instead we get a simulacrum of a person who is just absolutely delighted, just thrilled to their fucking TOES, to force us to listen to them go on and on while you waste your life on hold.
Hi, thanks for calling Walgreens …. At the NE corner of ______ and ________, in __________.
Para continuar en espanol, oprima nueve.
Just to let you know: stay up to date on your Covid vaccines. Make an appointment online, or stop by your Walgreen’s pharmacy. Now: how can I help you today?
[PHARMACY.]
OK. You can say: “Refill a prescription, prescription status, get the pharmacy hours, or say ‘help me with something else.’”
[HELP ME WITH SOMETHING ELSE.]
OK. I’ll get someone who can help. Just so you know, the pharmacy’s open from 8am to 8pm today, and tomorrow, from 8am to 8pm. By the way, they’re closed for a meal break every day from 1pm to 2pm.
[hold music begins, interrupted with “your call is important to us” approx. every 30 seconds.]
Of course the entire experience is designed to make you hang up. When I remember this, it helps keep my rage level in check. Don’t ever let the bastards win!
Yeah, I’ve seen people look over their left shoulder when they hear me. I never pass so close by someone that it becomes a problem. I’ve also had people jump off the trail to their right, as if they heard an out-of-control freight train coming up behind them. That’s not necessary, either.
Personally, when I say “on your left” on a bike trail, what I would like you to do is absolutely nothing. You’re entitled to be on the trail, and it is my responsibility to pass safely. If you’re walking, just keep walking. Bicycles are quiet. I say “on your left” so I won’t startle people when they suddenly see me in their peripheral vision.
There are exceptions to that, like people with their dog leashes stretched across the trail, or people walking five abreast so there’s no room to pass.
On that rant, every one of these darn things says, “please listen to all of the options as our menu options have recently changed”. Yes, when you first put up that recorded message your menu items had changed that’s why you had to put up a new message, but that was 5 years ago, so no they haven’t!
At one time in my career I designed and implemented voice response systems (put down those pitchforks!), and the “menu options have changed” script was date dependent: it only played when the options actually had changed, and for a limited time. It’s not that hard to do, but it playing constantly is consistent with one of my favorite axioms about IT: “If builders built buildings the way most programmers write programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.”
One of my pet peeves is something along the lines of “let me look up that account” followed by keying sounds. I know you’re a pile of silicon and gallium, stop trying to pretend you’re anything else.
People in the US pass on the left. Slower folks be it whatever transport should stay to the right. Saying “On your left” is a courtesy saying that you are overtaking them.
Bicycles can be fast, and silent. Speaking out is a courtesy warning that other riders and pedestrians should understand.
When I first heard “on your left” or “on the left” (maybe 10 years) ago I had no idea what it meant or who’d be saying it to me from behind me for what reason.
“Passing on your left” would have been a far better choice of terminology. But it’s too late now.
I’m not sure that “on your left” is really intended to be heard, parsed, interpreted, and then acted on by the person who hears it. It’s kinda like on the autobahn when you’re in the left lane and someone behind you flashes their headlights. No one thinks “I wonder what that person behind me wants.” Drivers on the autobahn are supposed to know the rules. Flashing the headlights is just a means of saying “I’m here”, and the the driver in front does what they already know they’re supposed to do.
Bike trails are similar; keep to the right unless you’re passing someone, be aware of bikes and walkers around you, be predictable.
I usually go with “Passing left” (or, on one or two occasions, “passing right”, and once “passing center”, the latter with the subtext “how rude”).
I’ve only seen people confused by it a couple times; once was an obviously new biker who I was giving a wide berth to anyway. His dad was there to straighten him out.
I’m getting tired of trying to log onto websites and not being allowed in until I enter an authorization code which they will either text me or email me. I suppose I should be grateful that they (usually) give me the option of how they will send it to me.
What’s really annoying is that after doing this on one particular website I am told that I have now been verified for the next four months. And then three weeks later I have to get re-authorized again.
That probably means they left a cookie on your computer with a 4-month expiration date. And after 3 weeks somehow some process on your computer deleted that cookie. Maybe a “cleaner” app, maybe a hard reset, maybe a browser upgrade, etc.
In fairness to them I’d note that it’s only right after your pet has died that those questions can be asked. If even a day or two passes it is already too late to decide you want a paw print (for example) so those folks have to butt in at that most inconvenient time.
Not too different from when the folks from the eye bank or other body part bank call you and ask if they can harvest parts of your just-deceased parent, sib, or spouse.
There’s no good time to ask that question, but the fact it’s gotta be while the body is still warm is especially troubling.
Regarding the paw print, it wasn’t the timing that bothered me – it was the $40. It just stunk of Get 'em for as much as you can while they’re still vulnerable.
We’ve had four dogs euthanized at our current vet’s (no, not all at once), and they’re never asked anything about that – only if we wanted the ashes. The first time we had to ask, and they said to pick a place that fit for us. They didn’t push us into anything. They didn’t even have us pay for Max’s (our last dog) euthanasia. He had a lot of health issues, and as they said, we were frequent flyers there. All they’ve ever asked with subsequent dogs is if we want to be in the room with him. Which, of course, we did. And, again, with Max, they didn’t have to ask. I understand the timing issue with the pawprint thing, but bringing up the money is just tacky.
I’m not sentimental so I would say ‘no’ to this service, in any case. But a paw print, for US$40?
It is basically like a potato print, something a 4 year child can do, let alone a qualified vetinarian or vet tech. For a grieving owner, it should be offered as a free service. 30 seconds of work with some ink or paint, and a piece of paper… US$40?
No, it’s a 3D imprint into some substance that hardens (or is fired). Still requires no skill, but probably $3 in raw materials (including the lovely frame).
Still a bullshit ripoff that should be included in the price of euthanasia. They probably figure they’re doing you a solid by making it an option rather than something they automatically charge you for.
And yeah, I hate the idea anyway, but my wife might have gone for it.
