Fortune Cookies

Here in San Francisco, you can get them fresh and flat, and they are very tasty.

Just hold a flat cookie a second over a teakettle spout, and it’s soft enough to fold.

I like to make the up with my own fortunes for alumni parties, etc.

So, like, what the Hell are the numbers on the back of the fortune?
We used them once for a local IP address.

My Favorite Fortune

Oye.

Once I was at a Chinese restaurant for a cast party from a school play. I had a goal that night of getting my ex boyfriend to go out with me again. I was about to chicken out when my fortune cookie told me that “nothing is inpossible to me.” So I wound up talking to him and getting rejected again. I still have that fortune though.

(I have no idea why I just told that story.)

I usually like fortune cookies, both the taste and the cute, nice, little fortunes. But lately, while the cookie still tastes fine, the fortunes have gone to all to crap.
My last one was basically, “The journey of a thousand steps, begins with a single step,” only simplified. What the hell?!? I wanted a fortune, not a philosophy. Or something to make me feel good, like, “You’re fortitude is unmatched.” How am I supposed to play the “in bed” game with a philosophy?!? “The journey of a thousand steps begins with a single step in bed,” isn’t funny, or dirty, dag nabbit! It’s more depressing than anything.

ROFL! You must have some freaking LOUD ACTIONS! Or maybe they mean you’re clumsy and knock over stuff when you walk around?

No, no…I know what it means, but mine’s funnier.