Four-year olds in strollers?

In My Humble Opinion
41

[QUOTE=carlotta]
Was there any chance the older child had a disability not apparent to the casual observer?
[/QUOTE]

There was that possibility. I have no problem with older kids in strollers if they need to be (I helped out in my Aunt and Uncle’s classrooms as a young adult, and accompanied them on a trip to the zoo because they needed people to make up the numbers of supervisors/aids.. they work with mentally disabled teens, I was paired with an experienced caregiver and one of their students who wasn’t a huge handful), the incongruity lay with the older child being in an expensive style of stroller that was much, much too small while the younger lagged behind and grew cranky.

I’ve seen older children in strollers before, that was the one that struck me as off though, especially as there were other adults with them and if they didn’t have an extra stroller they could have easily rented one, or a wagon.

42

[QUOTE=Flutterby]
I’ve seen older children in strollers before, that was the one that struck me as off though, especially as there were other adults with them and if they didn’t have an extra stroller they could have easily rented one, or a wagon.
[/QUOTE]

Perhaps they brought only one stroller on purpose - so the kids would get some exercise - and allowed the older one to take a turn riding when she got tired.

Really, isn’t this about overscheduling your kids more than coddling them? Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to do only one or two errands a day, or spend only two hours at the museum and leave when the kids get tired. When you’re packing all your “quality time” and your “shopping time” into two days a week, you tend to extend activities past the point where the kids are really having fun and getting into tired time. But dangit, you’re going to get your admission fee’s worth or you have to go to just three more stores, so into the stroller and quitcherwhinin’.

It CAN be about honoring your child’s emotional or physical needs, like **CrankyAsAnOldMan **used it, or it CAN be coddling or it CAN be ignoring your kids’ needs in favor of your own. No way to really tell by looking, so judgment is probably neither wise nor useful.

43

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
I hate the stroller, except that, as mentioned, it’s a great place to store stuff. But it’s bulky and a pain in the ass and I can’t get where I want to be while pushing it, and you can’t get around me easily, and yes, I do think she should be walking more, since we’re not exactly athletic types and we don’t have a good yard for playing in.

But there’s that hyperextended arm from hand-holding thing, and the wandering slow-walk thing and the ironic running off when you’re “too tired” thing…

So yesterday I went out and got a Kid Leash. Terrible parenting, I know. But the thing is, she loves it. She doesn’t have to get into the stroller or the cart or walk with her arm up over her head. I love it, I don’t have to try and hold onto a sweaty wiggling itty bitty hand while shopping, nor do I have to chase her.

Mostly, she and I both hold the handle, so it’s like we’re holding hands, but I don’t panic and drop things if she lets go and darts, 'cause she’s only going 4 feet. Plus, it’s cute.

(Anyone see the tragic design flaw? That’s right, the buckles are on the kid’s front. :smack: I see this working only as long as she likes it, which is probably just as well.)
[/QUOTE]

My sister LOVED the kiddie leash. She used to wrap it around displays.

44

[QUOTE=WhyNot]

So yesterday I went out and got a Kid Leash. Terrible parenting, I know. But the thing is, she loves it. She doesn’t have to get into the stroller or the cart or walk with her arm up over her head. I love it, I don’t have to try and hold onto a sweaty wiggling itty bitty hand while shopping, nor do I have to chase her.
[/QUOTE]

A cautionary tale:

I bought one for Eldest when he was a toddler because we travelled through two of the busiest airports in the world twice a year. It was to prevent me having a stroke mostly.

So I took him to the store and let him pick it out (though I had the good sense to get the one that fastened in the back. Still, he is little Houdini and as I discovered later, could get out of it when he felt like it). I failed to notice that he chose the same color as my neighbor’s leash/harness for her dog.

So there we are in the waiting area at Atlanta Hartsfield and my kid is on his hands and knees. Barking. Panting. Frolicking. Begging. Otherwise having a high old time making like a dog. Happily for me a nice older lady offered him a pretend dog biscuit (he sat up and begged no less) and a pretend dish of water.

But boy did I get the Looks.

He stashed it with his other dress up clothes – I think it’s still there – and has never shown any sign of awareness that it was anything other than a dog costume. Be warned, lol.

45

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
(Anyone see the tragic design flaw? That’s right, the buckles are on the kid’s front. :smack: I see this working only as long as she likes it, which is probably just as well.)
[/QUOTE]
I don’t think it’s terrible parenting…better than getting a toddler lost in a crowd!

You are right about it working only as long as she likes it. I got one for my daughter when she was about 2 and decided she didn’t like being confined in the stroller anymore. It worked until she figured out that she was confined by the leash (didn’t take long). She couldn’t unbuckle it, so what she did was drop to her knees and refuse to move until I took it off.

I do think it’s about overscheduling. Even in a stroller, I think it’s tough for a toddler to be out all day long…they tend to get cranky even if they’re riding.

46

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
So yesterday I went out and got a Kid Leash. Terrible parenting, I know.
[/QUOTE]
Terrific parenting, IMHO. My Mom had one for me and I will use one for my children (if they ever happen). She has freedom - but not too much, you are aware where she is all the time, and you aren’t getting a back ache from leaning over trying to keep hold of her hand. It’s a win-win for both of you and I really don’t see the downside to those.

As far as the strollers go, as long as you are not the “I am the only person on the earth. I am oblivious to all others. I own every inch of walking space in this museum, mall, etc” type, I don’t care if the person you are pushing in it is a toddler or a teenager, quite frankly.

47

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
I hate the stroller, except that, as mentioned, it’s a great place to store stuff. But it’s bulky and a pain in the ass and I can’t get where I want to be while pushing it, and you can’t get around me easily, and yes, I do think she should be walking more, since we’re not exactly athletic types and we don’t have a good yard for playing in.

But there’s that hyperextended arm from hand-holding thing, and the wandering slow-walk thing and the ironic running off when you’re “too tired” thing…

So yesterday I went out and got a Kid Leash. Terrible parenting, I know. But the thing is, she loves it. She doesn’t have to get into the stroller or the cart or walk with her arm up over her head. I love it, I don’t have to try and hold onto a sweaty wiggling itty bitty hand while shopping, nor do I have to chase her.

Mostly, she and I both hold the handle, so it’s like we’re holding hands, but I don’t panic and drop things if she lets go and darts, 'cause she’s only going 4 feet. Plus, it’s cute.

(Anyone see the tragic design flaw? That’s right, the buckles are on the kid’s front. :smack: I see this working only as long as she likes it, which is probably just as well.)
[/QUOTE]

I have exactly the same leash for my 22 month old.

At first I was sort of embarrased to walk my kid on a leash. But you know what? He likes it!

It gives me a wonderful feeling of security. Now I can walk him down the sidewalk without worrying that he’ll suddenly slip out of holding my hand and dart out into traffic chasing after a butterfly or something - at 22 months, he honestly knows no better (though he’s starting to learn that he must stay on the sidewalk and hold daddy’s hand crossing the street - but not so as to bet his life on it).

This way he can explore and exercise, and I don’t get a combination heart attack from anxiety and a bad back trying to grab hold of him.

And I used to think other people would hate it … but the only comments I get from people are “I love it! Where did you get that?”

48

[QUOTE=Sarahfeena]
I don’t think it’s terrible parenting…better than getting a toddler lost in a crowd!

You are right about it working only as long as she likes it. I got one for my daughter when she was about 2 and decided she didn’t like being confined in the stroller anymore. It worked until she figured out that she was confined by the leash (didn’t take long). She couldn’t unbuckle it, so what she did was drop to her knees and refuse to move until I took it off.

I do think it’s about overscheduling. Even in a stroller, I think it’s tough for a toddler to be out all day long…they tend to get cranky even if they’re riding.
[/QUOTE]

Yeah, my dog does that sometimes when he doesn’t want to go somewhere. I keep walking. He moves eventually.

49

[QUOTE=Zsofia]
Yeah, my dog does that sometimes when he doesn’t want to go somewhere. I keep walking. He moves eventually.
[/QUOTE]
I don’t know your dog, but I have never met a dog that is as stubborn as my daughter is! And, anyway, even the people who don’t mind kids on leashes might have something to say to me if they saw me dragging the kid down the street. :slight_smile:

50

[QUOTE=Sarahfeena]
I don’t know your dog, but I have never met a dog that is as stubborn as my daughter is! And, anyway, even the people who don’t mind kids on leashes might have something to say to me if they saw me dragging the kid down the street. :slight_smile:
[/QUOTE]

Reminds me of seeing a poor soul attempting to walk his cat on a leash.

“Walking” was a bit of a misnomer for the activity taking place.

51

[QUOTE=Marienee]

But boy did I get the Looks.

He stashed it with his other dress up clothes – I think it’s still there – and has never shown any sign of awareness that it was anything other than a dog costume. Be warned, lol.
[/QUOTE]

Ha! That’s awesome!

I’ve got a friend who is convinced I really wanted a dog and had a kid instead. There’s a series of vaguely incriminating purchases - the cheapest small inflatable ball for her play therapy was a dog’s ball. When we bought it, she also grabbed onto a star-shaped dog toy and wouldn’t let go, so I bought that too. Her second year camping, she needed a little sleeping pad to fit in her pop up tent, and the best, cheapest option was a travel dog bed! She needs a belt to hold her pants up, but they don’t make them in 18 month size (that I can find), so I got a little leather dog collar that fits through her belt loops, instead. So these all make sense (to me) individually, but the upshot is that I seem to buy an awful lot of dog products for my daughter, and my friend thinks it’s hysterical and weird.

I can’t wait to see my friend’s face when she sees the kid on a leash. :smiley:

52

As a childless adult I would just like to thank and salute those parents who use strollers/leashes/whatever means necessary to keep children contained and safe. I really hate going places and narrowly avoiding stomping on or tripping over children because they are running around with little supervision. If you have also found a way to keep them fairly quiet without instilling a sense of the “gimmies” I will nominate you for sainthood.

53

I like the leashes too. If I ever had a little one (not bloody likely) I’d get one of those leashes.

I have tried to walk a cat on a leash. In my defence, I’ve never had cats and my friend thought her (admittedly very friendly) cat would love to walk on the leash. Yeah, pull the other one, it’s got bells on.

seems I went really brit with this post…

54

I’ve got an almost 4yr old. I’d say the stroller depends on the kid and the location. At the science center, I wouldn’t bother. The day is meant for exploration, running around touching and checking things out.
At the mall when I’ve got a mission and a time liming or I know we’ll be walking the length of the mall to achieve our goal, I would bring a stroller. If we had unlimited time or weren’t going far, I wouldn’t.

There comes a point when the convenience falls either on the side of “must cart slow, whining child around while achieving mission” or “don’t feel like dragging along and maneuvering a stroller.”

I fail to see what is developmentally detrimental to allowing your child to ride in a stroller past the point where they can walk, though. I’ve yet to see a kid who doesn’t eventually fight at the mere suggestion that they ride in a stroller. Eventually they want to be grown up and decide strollers are for babies.

55

I don’t really understand what the rush is anyway. I don’t have kids, so I may be dead wrong, but why not let them take a little longer on potty-training or stroller-riding if they need it and if the parents can? To make little ones stick to some sort of strict schedule makes it seem like you’re not realizing they’re people after all, and have their own needs/wants/wishes.

56

We just got back from Disney World - the original land of “kids who are ready to go off to college riding in strollers.” This was our first completely strollerless trip - my kids are eight and nine. Last trip they were six and seven and we used a stroller. Yep. Seven. We wouldn’t have used it for my seven year old that time, but my six year old was a low stamina whiner, Disney is HUGE, we were there a week, and we want to be able to move quickly from place to place. Which meant he was in the stroller as well.

And we certainly saw plenty of four year olds in strollers last week. And six year olds. And I suspect a few kids who were either very big for their age or around ten (a Disney double stroller will hold 100 pounds, and parents of older kids will put one older kid in it).

You have a choice with kids:

  1. When they start walking, stop putting them in a stroller. You’ll limit the amount you are able to do, you’ll have to run your schedule according to how much they can handle. That may mean that your eight year old can spend all day at the science center, but since you have your three year old along, sorry kid, its a two hour day cause that’s all your little brother can handle before melt down.

  2. When they start walking, stop putting them in a stroller and tell them to suck it up. To me, this sounds like a miserable time for the kid and for mom while they whine and you listen to it. There are probably kids who learn to suck it up and stop whining, I haven’t figured out how to get mine to behave it that fashion. I suppose I could beat the whine out of them, but being unwilling to go that far, I listen to whine - with a limited tolerance for whine, I pick my battles for the stuff I think is important.

  3. Baby them and let them ride in a stroller all the time, never let them walk because it might inconvenience you or others or might not be a safe as having them in a stroller (it isn’t, a three or four year old unrestrained in public can be a frightening thing as mom looks away to pay for lunch, looks down and discovers the child has wandered off).

  4. Use a stroller when appropriate, let the kid walk when they want to. Long day at the zoo might involve pushing a stroller with Mom’s purse in it while the kid walks for an hour or two, followed by an hour of pushing a kid in a stroller, followed by some more walking. Eventually, they walk more, get pushed less until you have a kid who can spend five days at DisneyWorld strollerless!!!

57

I meant to add that I believe it was **Dangerosa **(since she showed up in this thread) who does always say “Just because it works for one kid, it doesn’t mean it’ll work for the next.” Do parents who like to keep their kids to a schedule (potty-trained at 1 year or whatever) find it works from child to child the same way? I don’t think it does!

58

[QUOTE=Anaamika]
I don’t really understand what the rush is anyway. I don’t have kids, so I may be dead wrong, but why not let them take a little longer on potty-training or stroller-riding if they need it and if the parents can? To make little ones stick to some sort of strict schedule makes it seem like you’re not realizing they’re people after all, and have their own needs/wants/wishes.
[/QUOTE]
For me, as soon as it was possible I potty-trained my kids. After two+ years of changing diapers and the attendant hassle, I was ready for it to be over. It is so much easier to know that the kids need to have a potty break every couple of hours and schedule for that than to worry about messy diapers.
You know, IMO, sometimes it’s okay for me as a parent to make the kid do something that’s not going to hurt them in the long run, for the sole purpose of making my life easier. They are people with feelings and whatnot, but you know what - sometimes it’s more about me.

My 10-yr old keeps trying to ride in her 3-yr old sister’s stroller. It’s a really cushy jogging stroller and she does actually fit. Sometimes I’ll push her in it just for fun, I’m sure other people think I’m crazy for letting her ride in it. We really only use it when we’re going for a really long walk or somewhere where I know the little one will need to take a nap at some point. Or if I’m going to need to cart around a bunch of crap. Other than that they walk. I really don’t care what other people choose to do about kids and strollers. So long as they aren’t running over my toes.

59

[QUOTE=grayhairedmomma]
For me, as soon as it was possible I potty-trained my kids. After two+ years of changing diapers and the attendant hassle, I was ready for it to be over. It is so much easier to know that the kids need to have a potty break every couple of hours and schedule for that than to worry about messy diapers.
You know, IMO, sometimes it’s okay for me as a parent to make the kid do something that’s not going to hurt them in the long run, for the sole purpose of making my life easier. They are people with feelings and whatnot, but you know what - sometimes it’s more about me.

[/QUOTE]
That’s why I added “…and if the parents can.” I admit freely I don’t know much about parenting; I was just musing that trying to shoehorn them all into one…er…shoe might not be the best idea!

60

[QUOTE=grayhairedmomma]
For me, as soon as it was possible I potty-trained my kids. After two+ years of changing diapers and the attendant hassle, I was ready for it to be over. It is so much easier to know that the kids need to have a potty break every couple of hours and schedule for that than to worry about messy diapers.
[/QUOTE]

Of course, that depends on it actually being a couple of hours between breaks. When the frequency is more like “every hour in the morning, increasing to every half-hour after about 2pm” then it’s possible that a different decision wins the “most easy option for Mum” stakes.
Getting back on topic … count me in as another stroller-user. Not-So-Small-Girl is four now, and I can and do get all three kids in the double-stroller (two inside, one riding on the hood). We regularly walk about 2 kilometres to some of our scheduled activities - that would take a long time with little four-year-old legs and make the whole deal much less fun for her. Her preferred option would probably be to ride her bike, but I don’t feel able to monitor the safety of that well enough, with the other kids to corral too.

She still does a fair amount of walking (especially when we find nice wide front fences to walk along). So does the Smaller Girl. But the stroller is still great to have when they get tired and I want to get a move on (or when someone’s not doing as told - “walk nicely with hands now or you’ll have to go in the stroller with your seatbelt on” - big threat!)