Chortle 
Dude says the fox ‘was like a wild animal’
I have a few toilet terror tales of my own and I’d love to hear yours.
I live deep in the country and in the spring, I leave all the doors and windows open at night. So around 4 AM one morning, I get up to pee. No need to turn on the bedroom or bathroom light-some things don’t need illumination. I’ve assumed the position on the toilet and am doing the necessary when I feel something brush my leg. 'OK" thinks I, “it’s just one of the dogs”. I run my hand over it’s back and realize that the fur doesn’t feel right. I jump up and flip the light on. It was a huge possum that had somehow gotten it’s head behind the toilet.
:eek:Absolutely the one time when you need to be seated on the toilet.
No, er, shit.
And then, from the same site, there’s Dartford mother grows strawberry in shape of a penis.
Southeast London. In the city but not of it.
This is what happens when you stop hunting them.
Well, when you put it that way, I feel they’ve earned the right to a little revenge.
Excellent sequential posts. 
“We were concerned for our neighbour’s baby next door.”
Next: fox vs. dingo.
Not so crazy, as there’s been at least one baby in London seriously attacked by a fox: http://http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21399709
Foxes are pretty harmless round these parts usually just tear open unattended bin bags and scatter the contents.
Meh. Man bites fox, now that’s a story.
Ah, thats nothing. One night my mom heard a noise in the kitchen and ordered my father to get the burglar.
My father found the burglar. It was wearing a mask!
It also was scarcely a foot tall and had a brushy ringed tail and was availing itself of our groceries.
I told my parents “You shouldn’t have installed a cat door in raccoon country”
When I lived in the country I learned to turn on the light before sitting on the throne. One night I had a rat swimming in my toilet.
Fortunately when I flushed he went down.
Between that and the snake in the living room I stopped walking around in the dark.
A dark shadowy blob on the inside rim of the toilet. I’m half asleep, wondering how I missed cleaning that up and how it got there anyway. I’m about to say oh whatever and take my seat when something tells me to wake up and turn the light on. I grab the toilet brush.
The lump moves, a leg stretches out. It’s a Cuban frog.
Shudderrrrrrr! The funniest part of this story is retelling it, I’ve had friends jump up and run across the room at the thought, or kind of bounce really, their legs held together at the knees 
I was half expecting it to be this guy.