Freaking out over Alexa

In My Humble Opinion
1

I am seriously upset over an Alexa feature, and an curious if SD posters understand or think I’m overreacting. Let me try to explain succintly(ish) - feel welcome to ask for details if you need them in order to assess the situation.

Okay - my husband and I are long-time expatriates, but as we reach retirement age we are gradually moving our lives over to our house in Hawaii. As part of that, I’m currently moving to Hawaii essentially full-time - I’m pretty much retired from my consulting work and can work on line from home if I get any assignments I can’t refuse. My husband hopes to spend a few more years working abroad. He’ll visit me and I’ll visit him as much as possible. Meanwhile, I’m kind of on my own in Hawaii.

Last time we vacationed at our house, CairoSpouse set up Alexa. I am not overly technology-enthralled, but okay. It’s cool to be able to say “Alexa, turn on NPR” or “Alexa, what time is it” or “Alexa, what is the temperature outside” or “Alexa, turn off the lights in the master bedroom.”

So now I am in our house alone, setting things up for actually living here. I arrived yesterday. Today, suddenly, out of nowhere, my husband’s voice (he is in Indonesia) - with no warning at all - came over the Sonos speakers we have set up: “Hi CairoCarol, can you hear me?”

I screamed and cursed. He heard me scream and curse.

We already had (thanks to my husband’s love of being an early adopter of all techonology) Nest cameras that showed all movement in the house. I had told him those cameras were going off as soon as I arrived - and indeed, I unplugged the cameras on arrival, so to the best of my knowledge there was no visual footage.

BUT. It seems that because we have Alexa installed, HE CAN HEAR EVERYTHING ANYTIME.

I’m seriously disturbed by this. It’s not because I have plans to do anything he can’t hear - it’s just the principle. I don’t want ANYONE, even my husband, to hear me or see me when I am theoretically “alone” in the house. It reeks of control-freak nastiness.

I’m especially upset because when I was a kid, my parents specialized in spying on me and making bizarre assumptions about my behavior. Not with the technology available today (they would have been those parents who track their kids’ every move through cell phones, I am sure), but with whatever means they had available. Two examples:

  1. They installed walkie-talkies between my bedroom and the downstairs when I was a teen. Ostensibly this was to make it easy to call me for dinner. But the walkie-talkie would randomly crackle when I was in my bedroom with a girlfriend, just talking. They were definitely listening in, or at least trying to, on my private conversations.

  2. They were always inventing really weird theories about my innocent behavior. Case in point: there is a dry cleaner (still in business, I just googled it) called E&R Cleaners. While a high school freshman, I had a crush on a guy my parents did not like, and the license plate of his car included the letter PNR. One night my dad brought home some dry cleaning from E&R. My parents accused me of lighting up because the E&R wrapper supposedly reminded my of the PNR lettering on my crush’s license plate. Ohhh…kay?

To be sure, my husband is NOTHING like my creepy parents. However, I make no apologies for being sensitive about being spied on or misinterpreted. As far as I am concerned, it is completely unacceptable to have any surveillance, audio or video, of what I am up to while living alone in our house. And while I am not having an affair, even if I were I don’t think suspicion of such would justify the “Big Brother” stuff. Goddammit, if he distrusts me, we need to talk, not enable spying.

2

What is your plan? Will you uninstall the Alexa?
My issue would be, if he can spy on you can someone else?

3

My plan - which I shared with Cairospouse just before writing the OP - is to insist that Alexa goes.

AFAIK, no other person can spy on me via Alexa, but I have scanned (as opposed to perused) news stories suggesting that Alexa is technically capable of spying on conversations and gathering personal data. Not good :frowning:

4

Have you asked Google how to switch off the “watch from away” features? It’s a specific one, it should be possible to switch it off.

5

That would be a deal breaker for me but then I’ve never consider those devices as offering anything I want and certainly not anything I need.

I value my privacy very highly and I want as much control over who hears what I say and who knows what I do. I

6

Novelty? NOVELTY!

7

He’s perfectly fine. A normal human typing with his human hands.

8

I would not be okay with my spouse hearing me when I’m alone in the house. I mean, just take the issue of farting! The bloom would be off the rose quick if he could hear how i fart when he isn’t around. :slight_smile:

That’s just one problem I would have with it though.

9

Why don’t you ask your spouse what feature he was using and disable that?

10

I would tell him that I understand he has good intentions and is motivated by enthusiasm for technology but because of negative experiences, that kind of thing makes you uncomfortable.

11

So you object to your husband listening in but it’s okay if Amazon spies on everything you do?*

Alexa isn’t a solution to any problem I care about and it is potentially a cause of many problems I don’t want to have. I would throw it in a box and set it on fire. I don’t have enough faith in just clearing the settings and it would already know my wifi password, my Amazon password and much more about me. Of course, I wouldn’t be in your situation, because my wife and I discuss decisions that will affect both of us ahead of time and make them jointly. Neither of us is paying to install spyware in our house.

  • I know in theory it only transmits voice data to the Amazon server if the Alexa word is spoken, but: (1) I expect that it awakens sometimes in response to the wrong word, (2) I don’t know how long it keeps transmitting data after I say the wake word, (3) I don’t know what other Alexa “skills” also rely on ever present audio recording to work right, (4) it transmits lots of other data in regular use I feel no particular need to share, and (5) I am certain Alexa is not immune to hacking.
12

You don’t have to insist on anything, just go over and unplug the thing. Lol. You’re living there, he’s not, so if he’s so in love with early adopting you should ask your spouse if he wants you to ship it to him. This seems like it will only be an issue when you are living together again and he can’t live without ordering toilet paper by voice command.

13

“Alexa, turn off remote spying feature.”

14

FWIW, that feature of Alexa that acts like an intercom is called “Drop-in”. It’s part of the update that lets Alexa be used as a voice-over-internet phone. You have to enable it deliberately. Tell your husband to turn it off and it won’t hassle you any more.

I find it useful, or I would if everyone in my household wasn’t clutching a phone at all times. But if a piece of technology isn’t meeting your needs, there’s no reason to agonize about it. Sometimes you can’t know until you try it.

15

Your problem isn’t with Alexa or Amazon, but with your husband.

16

I know this was a joke, but what you actually say to disable Drop In is

“Alexa, turn on do not disturb.”

17

:confused:

something’s gone over my head here.

18

My precise reason for not wanting Alexa or Google home, or related devices. I don’t need to invite the NSA into the house, even if they may be there already.

19

Sure, disable the feature. It is interesting how concerned people are with privacy and eavesdropping. These can be issues, but they will be fixed or will have options to shut off features you don’t like. Not surprisingly I love my Google assistants and am looking to add a third one with a screen. But getting back to privacy, every cell phone, computer, tablet and now TVs- have built-in cameras, speakers, and microphones. So an Alexa is really not very different, nor less secure.

20

A friend of mine has cameras all over his property. If he hears a noise outside, he can look at his phone and see the output from all his cameras; front door, back door, driveway, various outbuildings, etc.

He loves his system so much that he gave me a camera. I set it up downstairs, so that I could look in on our dogs when they are home alone. My gf was creeped out over having a camera in the house, so I unplugged it, only plugging it back in when the guy who gave me the device visits.