Have signs with pictures of George Burns that say “Knock it off, Fred, you’re embarrassing me” and “I don’t hate anyone, Fred”
Who is Fred Phelps?
Anyway, my propsed reaction is the same I recommended to Anne Coulter: ask him bizarre questions that have nothing to do with his field of expertise ("Why is it hard to juggle pianos? Where are the huge cheese mines of North Dakota? Why did Ed Zotti slander a great American?) It’ll be hilarious to see the reaction.
What have monkeys ever done to harm you? May I suggest you use the term ‘F***ing Morons’ instead?
[thread edited per request of poster-Czarcasm]
Dammit Annie, you’ve gotta stop using your time machine to plagiarise me. 
He’s expecting a backlash. Don’t feed into that. He will just twist it to use against you.
I think the worst thing you can do to him is completely ignore him. Have no reaction to him whatsoever. Show him he is irrelevant.
EEK! Mods - I’m really sorry to have used such language here; I honestly thought I was in The Pit. Please delete or edit my post if you feel it is appropriate.
Mods, that’s okay. I can take an occasional “Dammit.”
Oh, his other post? That’s mild language for talking about Fred Phelps?
Hell, I’m STRAIGHT and I might be convinced to participate in the kiss-in. I LIKE that idea. I could even carry a sign – “They turned me into a lesbian!”
I’d go for the silly approach, if you must do anything at all. Part of me agrees with the giving him any attention is a bad idea crowd, the rest of me wants to hear about him being publicly, hopefully mercilessly, mocked.
Maybe you could get a bunch of people to carry around placards that were completely blank or carried ridiculous nonsensical messages. Get them to mingle with Phelps’ crowd and take photographs.
It’d be great if you could get a big group of people together beforehand and rehearse a dance routine. Something Busby Berkely-esque. Fred starts ranting, a song starts playing in the background, and a couple of hundred people in the audience start dancing about like it was a sound stage for a 1930s musical.
Sign reads: “Visit Mr. Phelps’ more popular website: www.****.”
(Where the url points to the most notorious page in the Christmas Island top-level domain.)
Or maybe “And there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body; and the young men laid hold on him: And he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked.”
(IMHO, the naked guy following Jesus in the garden never gets enough play.)
I’m starting to like the idea of the nonsensical placards (I would, wouldn’t I); signs with just a few words in big bold letters, stuff like:
ENTROPY IS WRONG!
GRAVITY IS IMMORAL!
NORTH IS BETTER THAN PURPLE!
FITNESS HARMS WELLNESS!
END APPLES NOW!
MAKE PAPER DUCKS!
etc…
FTR, I was the one who proposed the mass make-out session way up in the 2nd post.
However, now that I think about, the more inapropriate (sp?) it seems. While I still think it is a good idea for another venue, the fact that the play being performed is The Laramie Project indicates to me that a sense of decorum and respect is required. It is bad enough that Mr. Phelps chooses this particular forum to spew his brand of vitriol (not that it is acceptable at Big Gay Al’s Swinging Seventies Dance Review either) but I do not think that adding an air of frivolity is the answer.
king of spain, I still maintain that some action needs to be taken but, please, do not turn a viewing of this play into a circus, it is too important for that.
I apologize to anyone who was offended by my suggestion, it was not my intention.
How about a sing-in?
“Jesus loves the litlle children,
All the little children of the world.
Lesbian, gay or straight
He teaches not to hate,
Jesus loves the little children of the world!”
StG
Why is it you always see the spelling errors just as you hit “Submit Reply”?
Little children, of course.
Eye = Suck
StG
And then there’s the old favorites:
WHEN COME BACK BRING PIE
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
I DON’T WANT TO BE ELFSTAR
Fred is from Topeka, KS. I work in downtown Topeka and see him protesting at least weekly.
Conventional wisdom here is ignore him, he thrives on attention.
hummmmm…
Go to the “protest” in droves. Agree with him. Blow his tiny mind. Make him think he has reached you. Sign up for as much of his stuff as you can. Take as much stuff as he has. See if you can engage him for further dialog, maybe even accompany him to dinner or his hotel.
Claim he came on to you! 
Come on out of the closet, Fred! Your little secret is okay with us. No sense in trying to cover it up anymore. There, there. Let the tear clense your soul…
And now for the best use of the sig yet!
Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore.
Here’s another idea: organize another protest on another completely unrelated topic (like an anti-war protest, or whatever you like). Arrange it for the same time and place as Fred’s protest. Try to outnumber his group as much as possible. Ignore his group, or pretend they’re part of your protest.
Bury him.
Don’t underestimate Fred. He did very well in law school, was an effective lawyer, and for a while actually gained something of a local reputation as, of all things, a civil rights lawyer. Then he got disbarred, of course.
Michael Moore, back when he was doing the show The Awful Truth, showed up in Topeka driving a pink Winnebago, labeled The Sodomobile. He pulled up, put The Village People on the sound system, and had male go-go dancers perform. Then Moore went out and interviewed Fred.
http://gaytoday.badpuppy.com/garchive/entertain/041999en.htm
My point is, Fred is very used to dealing with opposition to his point of view, and don’t expect to do much good if you take him on.