The mother of invention
Weasels Ripped My Flesh
Prelude to the Afternoon of a Sexually Aroused Gas Mask
Burnt Weeny Sandwich
Freak Out!
Free and clear
Absolutely Free
Free as in freedom, not free as in beer.
Freedom’s just another word.
Freedom isn’t free.
But it can be yours for the low, low price of nine payments of $19.95 each, plus shipping and handling.
But wait, there’s more.
On sale now!
Operators are standing by.
Please hold
You are being charged 99 cents a minute for this call. Please continue to hold.
To speak to an actual person who cares, please press … hahahaha just kidding. Continue holding.
Your call is very important to us. Your estimated wait time is… tomorrow. Please continue to hold.
The number you have reached is no longer … (AAAAHHHHGGGGRRRHHHH smashes phone to bits)
Congratulations! You can have a free new phone with the purchase of a 7-year phone plan through Vonge/Verizon/Cricket. For more details, stay on the line…