Free But Read The Fine Print

In My Humble Opinion
1

Recently I purchased a new bedroom set and wasn’t sure what to do with my old one. It is in fairly decent condition but I didn’t want to deal with the hassle of selling it and maybe getting 200 bucks for the effort. I decided to post it on Craigslist under the free section, took pictures and had 50 plus responses in the 12 hours between posting and checking my email. The free was unconditional but I found myself responding most to the people who told me what they needed it for rather than the responses of “I’ll take it. When can I pick it up?” As I type, a man who stated he just got custody of his daughter and could use it is loading it on a big pick up truck.

It reminded me of folks that have posted items on free and specifically requested a story as to why the person should be deemed worthy of the crap that the poster no longer wants. For example, I recently read an ad for a man’s winter coat that requested an email stating why they need it and why the giver should pick that person. For some reason that annoys me and yet, I guess I wanted to feel altruistic as to who I gave my set to.

The question is, do you feel it is okay to offer something for free with strings attached, such as an essay of someone’s worthiness or should free be free to the first person that answers the ad and shows up?

2

You have every right to be picky about who you give your stuff to. It’s your stuff. When I make charitable contributions of my hard earned cash…I make discernment of who I give it to…not just the first 501c3 that asks for it. Your belongings should be no different. It’s up to you.

3

When I wanted to get rid of my old plasma TV I decided to put it on Freecycle. In order to join I had to email the mods and tell them why I should be allowed to join their group. I felt stupid doing that. I don’t think I’ll ever post anything there again. Next time I have something big to get rid of I’ll just try craigslist.

4

Agreed. If I am giving something away I would MUCH rather someone who genuinely NEEDS it get it rather than someone who simply wants it to re-sell it.

5

Foxy40, next time you get around to giving away some cash, count me as the first person that asked for it. PM me for details on how to get it.

6

I have the same heartache each time Celtling outgrows a set of clothes/shoes/coats. I want them to be used - they’re in great condition, and lovely little things that I chose very carefully. But I want them to go to someone who will use them, not some store that will re-sell them for a profit.

It’s surprisingly difficult to achieve this, however.

7

Don’t count on that. However, my son is real big on “volunteering” to sell things that I would otherwise give away on Craigslist. He deals with the emails and lookers and gets to keep the money. The situation of the bedroom set had a time constraint as I had to get it out before the new stuff was delivered so my son couldn’t offer his services this time. Last year he sold my old living room set for 500 dollars and offered to deliver it for another 75. He got a few friends together and had a really fun weekend that only cost them two hours worth of labor. To this day, I can’t believe he got so much for a 10 year old couch, loveseat and set of end tables.

8

I suspect some of this is simply to discourage eBayers.

I’m giving it away free because someone out there needs it more than me, and I want them to have it for free. I’m not giving things away to provide inventory for a middleman.

9

You can look in to donating to a women’s shelter, or a church that works with a shelter. Often times shelters are “hush hush” and you can’t give donations to them directly but a local church will be able to pass the items along. The church might also sponsor local families who would be able to use the stuff.

When I was giving away firewood on Craigslist, I was actually dubious of people who wrote me a sob-story. I immediately assumed it was fake so they could get me to put them at the top of the list. If you required a story how could you even verify it? The winner would be the best writer, not the worst off.

10

The problem I’ve had with putting things with disclaimers and requests on Craigslist is that it doesn’t cut down on the number of emails. Nobody reads that stuff (which is why someone assumed you wanted a sob story). I will generally go by the email address as the measure of legitimacy.

  1. hotmail - nope never going to get it
  2. gmail/yahoo with a seemingly random string of letters or other nonsense for a name - never gonna get it
  3. Bob Johnson <jiangqin@gmail.com> - not gonna get it
  4. Shawn@localUniversity.edu - can have it if the email seems “responsible”
  5. BobandMaryLouJohnson@comcast.com - probably getting it

But I often put things for $5 or $20 on craigslist just to weed the “freebie grabbers” and then tell the emailer “If you come and get it in the next 2 hours tonight, it is yours for free.”

11

That was my thought. If you want someone who needs it, all you’re going to get is the person who can tell you the best story.

When I put something on freecycle, my only requirement was that it was out of my house that day (and that was stated in the post). The first person that told me they already had a pick up truck and tarp (it was raining) and said they could be there within 15 minutes got my address. Once he was at my house I stopped checking that email address.

For me it was about not putting this giant electronic device in the garbage and the only requirement for getting it was my convenience. The people that said they wanted it because they needed a TV and they couldn’t afford one but they couldn’t get it until next month didn’t work for me. The person that wanted it as a spare and could pick it up tomorrow wasn’t fast enough.
But the person that emailed me and said “Hey, I’m at work in the same city as you, I’m taking my break at 2:30, if you email me your address, I can be there by 2:40” won.

12

I voted “other” because I don’t see this as a ‘should’ kind of question. I think the giver is certainly entitled to look for deserving recipients, but personally I never bother. If I’m giving something away to an unknown party, it’s because I don’t want the item and can’t be bothered to try to sell it. If the person who gets it can make a profit on it, that doesn’t bother me at all. I have personal issues with the Salvation Army, but I drop off bags of clothes there once in a while, because it’s better than filling a landfill and easier than any other way of getting them out of my closet. That said, there’s nothing wrong with the opposite position, outlined so clearly by Omar Little above. (I mean I don’t equate “stuff I no longer want” with “cash donations to charity”, not that I give to whichever 501©3 hits me up first)

13

Also as a ps, I don’t claim those “donations” as deductions on my taxes either. Probably because I see the free disposal as a benefit I received? Dunno.

14

Usually I just choose the person who can come the soonest and is the least creepy. I don’t care what they do with the stuff, I just want it out of my house; however, I don’t want it out of my house enough to have Jeffrey Dahlmer’s brother coming to pick it up, ya know.

That being said, I think as the giver you’re free to select whomever you want to give your stuff to an if a sob story helps you make that decision, so be it.

15

I voted “other” because it depends on what I’m getting rid of.

Clothes and small household stuff that’s still usable: Goodwill gets a donation on a regular basis. This is for stuff I can carry down my steps only.

Furniture / big stuff: Whoever will haul it away the quickest.

Memorabilia / collectibles: Someone I know will enjoy it as much as I did at some point.

16

I don’t think ethics enter into it, but I find it ill-advised to go with the sob story. In fact, in my experience, it is best to go with someone without one and I make it a personal rule to avoid them.

In general, I have strings – the person must follow the request in the ad. This is to send me their first name, contact info, and a firm pickup time or window.

Email without this info: summarily deleted.
Email without this info, followed by a flurry of more emails that include some of the info I asked for, in random fashion: deleted.
Email with this info but begs for item please please please: deleted.
Email with info but sob story about their terrible life: deleted.
Multiple emails asking about the item over and over: deleted.
Terrible grammar/spelling (I’m talking vaguely incomprehensible): deleted.
Email asks me to deliver the free, heavy item to them: Oh, hell no.
Email asks a dozen questions about the free, adequately-explained-in-the-ad item, wants me to try to sell them on taking it: Goodbye.
Increasingly desperate and angry emails saying they’re driving around the vague area listed in the ad despite no contact from me, send address now, I need it now now now now!!!: Never answering this ever (and yes this has happened, multiple times).

Whenever I’ve avoided these rules, I’ve ended up with a lot of time-wasters. I’ll cave a little bit if I can’t get a taker, but I realize I’m likely in for a pain in the ass and waiting around for them to show up. Still, I’d rather pay to get something hauled than deal with the sob-story people, because they are generally ‘users’. Even if they’re normal on the first message, once they “win” the item, then it’s “Okay, great, but now I can’t come get it because I’m disabled and I can only go within a mile of my house because I ride on my dog, and he can’t carry the free TV, so could you please deliver it? Also could you please bring stuff to hook it up to my cable box for me because I’m blind and I have no fingers? Also do you have a free DVD player and some DVDs because I live off $4.21 in food stamps every month? PLEEAAAAASE”

I give a lot of stuff away on Craigslist and Freecycle. It’s generally fun and a rewarding experience. There are also a lot of fucktards in the world and it’s way easier to screen them out on the initial email. A few times people have come by who were clearly in need and I gave them other stuff, too, and they were nice and appreciative. I don’t need crazies at my house.

17

:eek:

18

I give away (and get) stuff on freecycle regularly- If you’re choosing between several people, there isn’t a strictly ‘fair’ method. There’s some people who appear to live on there and just apply for everything- personally, I’ve found the very first people to reply are those who are less reliable. I normally pick someone who bothered to write in actual sentences, preferably with some relevant comment which shows they actually do want what I’d offering.

I don’t appreciate a pathetic sob story; but, for example, when I was giving away a load of rolls of gaffer tape, the guy who said it’d be really useful for the local scout camp summer fete- yep, top of the list; the ‘Ooh, I’d love your old bookcase, I just moved to an unfurnished flat, and it’s a bit bare still’- happy to pass it on; the simple response of ‘YES PLS CONTACT ME’- I think not.

Also had quite a few that say ‘I want this, phone me’: you’re asking for something free off me, you’re bossing me around, and want ME to pay for a call??

One of my friends, giving away a fully functional laptop on freecycle, did a ‘guess my date of birth’ contest, knowing there’d be a load of responses- whoever got closest got it. :smiley:

19

I was just checking the rest of the emails since I have taken the ad down. This was one of the “requests”:

I had a set like this years ago and the top ball on the headboard kept comming off. Their are scratces on the top of the endtable. Is this the picture or are their damage. I need it but don’t want to pay for a truck if their is damage. Please please please call me and let me know.

Might picky for something I was giving away for FREE. Wow.

20

Crazy, no? I put up a box of dishes and silverware just a few weeks ago, and you’d think I was offering free briefcases of money by the response. No big deal of course, since all they have is the anonymous email, but I did laugh when I got the final snotty email telling me I needed to “get serious”.

Prior to “the rules”, I agreed on the phone with a woman to let her dad come pick up the boxes. He reallllllly needed them, so badly, she was thrilled to find them, he has no money and needs boxes to move, sob story et cetera.

Note that the ad said:

“Free, good sized load of cardboard boxes for moving. About half large moving boxes, the rest assorted shoe-boxes and smaller boxes. Just moved and don’t need them. Must take all.”

The guy showed up and hemmed and hawed, he didn’t like the quality of the boxes. He wanted me to tell him more about the boxes and what they were used for. (???) Then he wanted the big boxes, but not the small boxes, but he wanted to pick through all the boxes and spread them out everywhere, and pick out any that had damage. “Some of these boxes are junk!”, he argued. Finally I said, “Dude, they’re boxes. Free boxes, must take all is what the ad said. I just used all of these boxes to move MY stuff, now I just want them to be gone. I do not want to try to haggle with you on these FREE boxes. Do you want them or not?” Him: "<exasperated sigh> FINE. " huff huff huff, sloooowly loaded the boxes while giving me the evil eye, then peeling out without the customary “thanks, bye”.

That said, ever since practicing a bit more discretion during the setup of the meet, I’ve generally only had good experiences.