So, yesterday evening I began my Get Less Fat regimen. I decided, you see, that after three years of not exercising at college and work, I had become too fat. So I went to the nearby Bally’s which has a swimming pool, and signed up. I am now paying some ridiculous monthly fee to hop in a swimming pool. Being such a tightwad, I will be motivated to actually take advantage of my membership.
The only kind of exercise I ever really enjoyed has been swimming. That’s why I was a Professional Sexy Lifeguard for a while. This morning I woke up at 6:00 in the AM. I stuffed my bathing suit and towel in my backpack and headed right out the door for the subway. I had erroniously thought that the express service starts at 5:30, but unfortunately it doesn’t start until 6:30. Which means I had to take the icky 7 local all the way to Times Square. Then I took the 9 down to Penn Station which is next to Bally’s. I gave the lady my Official Membership Card, which she swiped through her card reader thingamahoogie, and I went on my way to the locker room. I was surprised how many nekkid men were in the locker room at ten 'till seven. There I learned that this was the type of locker room where you must bring your own lock; they don’t give you a key, so I got changed and shoved my clothes and watch into my backpack and brought it with me.
Into the pool I go. It’s not a very wide pool but it’s 25 yards long, which is standard. The water is a nice temperature and it’s not overly chlorinated. This is actually the first time I’ve gone swimming in about four years. I do 50 yards and I’m fucking exhausted. I used to be able to swim 400 yards without breaking a sweat (as much as one can actually break a sweat while immersed in water.) Now I was panting and holding onto the side and feeling my heart thump through my chest after only 50. I waited it out and swam 100 more yards before deciding that I was about to drown and got out. Took me a nice, warm public shower and got dressed and headed to work.
So, I’m even fatter and more out-of-shape than I thought. I have decided I will continue to wake up at 6:00 AM and swim in the mornings until I’m in shape again. At this rate, that should be sometime in 2004.