A friend of mine wrecked her car and is now in an ICU, at a hospital 50 miles away. I went to see her. Her Mom is in Missouri and she only knows a few people out here. What can I do, send, have sent, that will do any good. She’s immobilized by devices. She looks like she is in terrific pain, eyes bulging. I had to leave after a couple of minutes, and I don’t know if I want to go back. Will sending a card suffice???
I’m so sorry about your friend. She won’t be able to have flowers or balloons while in ICU. Visiting can be a problem depending on the rules in that particular ICU. Many only allow a few minutes per hours and only family. It seems harsh, but if your friend is seriously injured, the nursing staff has a lot to do. Its easier to do without stepping over visitors. That said, friend and family support can help in healing. If your can’t, either because of your own emotional state or the rules in the ICU, sending cards can keep one’s spirits up. She probably won’t be in ICU longer than a week. (That’s just statistical) Once out of ICU, visitors will be very welcome.
Hope all goes well, 
Best thing you can do is send happy vibes, and be there for the family.
I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed as well.
Make sure to send cards for now, and flowers later.
I really do not want to see a beautiful woman at her worst. Cards will be OK??? I can see her whenever, I have that smile. She looks like shit, and I had doubts with my 987.14$ cat.
Huh? I don’t get the bit about your smile and the cat.
I’m sure she does look like shit, and she might not feel like people seeing her in such a condition. But conversely, she might wish for a familiar face. I would try to put aside your distress and pop in, at least to reassure her that her disfigurement is NOT the be all and end all.
She is still your friend.
There is a frightened person in pain under the bandages and swelling and stitches and tubes. Please find the strength to look beyond them, to see the friend who needs you. Even if only for a few minutes a day. If you can’t get in to see her, ask the nurses to tell her you stopped by. Let her know that you’ll call her family. Give them whatever good news you can. Let them know that you are there for her.
What kambucta said.
I agree with the others who said you should try going back, for just a short visit. It might help her a lot to have someone there to distract her from the pain. Good luck. I hope she feels better soon.
Ask the nursing staff if there is anything she’s expressed a need for. (Don’t know if she can talk or not.)
Last time I was in ICU, I would have killed for some Carmex for my dry, peeling lips. They never think about parched lips…
Just got back from seeing my friend. What kind of juju magic do they do in ICU. She heard my voice and started yelling. OK. some of you posters sound like you have experience. Spleen removed, broken ulna, pressure on nerves that control eye movement, (she looks my siamese cat) Fingers and toes wiggle, good grip strength, on Morphine, vitals 122/88, 84beats, squiggly lines for the heart look like what they should.(like I know)They let her go to the bathroom, by herself…AMAZING…Now about the cat, last year I was circling the drain, bad pump, 18%EF, I come home and find the cat laying under the window, say her name, no movement, I look closer, see flies around her eyes, I see movement, and hear a faint meow, rush to vet. Next day she looks like death, vet wants paid, OK. Next day, go to see her and the staff is optimistic. The cat looks like shit, all puffed up and sickly. Paid the bill. next day, looking better, …Finally, I drop by see how she is doing, she lifts her head to get me closer, then she whacks me with a claw on my cheek. Three scars worth! 13 days at the vet, and 987.14$ out of pocket. Worth it…Another good day has been logged by me, money just makes it interesting