I have this seemingly normal, nay, even BRILLIANT friend who has come up with a hairbrained scheme for a protest. He’s personally behind and being taken advantage of with child care payments by an ex-wife. Fine.
However, he’s somehow mananaged to roll that into the fact that soldiers currently overseas are being completely SCREWED by the system to allow mothers to divorce them and take custody of children without any chance of response from the father. The long and the short of it is that the mother files suit, and even if she’s a crack whore, if the father in Baghdad can’t show up in court within 90 days, she automatically gets custody.
So, this friend has a GREAT point and a terrifically written up presentation, explaining with statistics how unfairly women are given custody of minor children some ENORMOUS percentage of the time. And how the man’s payment to those families doesn’t reflect reality…it is rarely based on his actual income, rarely takes into consideration his ability to be able to afford to visit those children or buy them Christmas gifts once he’s paid support, etc.
And alongside this, a really great diatribe about how this is hurting the morale of soldiers, the males of which are losing their children in record numbers (it really is staggering) while they’re off fighting this quagmire.
Being a war-protester in general, his solution: Get himself ARRESTED (if he’s caught he’s going to go to jail for being behind in child support payments anyway) and then start a hunger strike, which he is convinced will draw attendion to the plight of soldiers, get George Bush himself involved, and both get him out of jail AND start some protest and change in the way custody hearings are done with both soldiers and regular guys at home.
Errr…okay. He’s my friend. I actually believe he’s RIGHT…about the ridiculous ways the divorce courts award custody and child support and the ways that it harms…well…EVERYONE, not just the over-paying father.
However…his fantasy of how he’ll be treated in jail (Oh, they’ll get me right in to the psych ward once they know I’m on a hunger strike) and how he’ll handle it (Oh, I won’t be bored in jail…lots of attention once people find out what’s going on) are just…fantasy. I’m scared for him.
When I mention to him…“err…honey, are you aware that you might not be able to SHOWER? THey may not give you UNDERWEAR? You could actually DIE before anyone notices you’re on a hunger strike?” Or when I say, “What about your new girlfriend? What about your job? What about custody of your son you’ve been fighting for for so long?” He stops me and says, “Well, if you’re not going to support me in this, and just be a downer, I can’t talk to you about it.”
I don’t want to be a downer, I just want him to think about REALITY.
In spite of the weirdly written, typo-laden ramblings above, I’m a professional writer and have been for almost 20 years now. So he’d like me to look over some presentations he has (I’ve done that), write up some op-ed stuff, letters to editors, purpose statements, and things like that for him. Honestly, I WANT to help and believe he has a good cause. And on the one hand, I think taking the middle of the road and letting things go by without dramatic action is no way to get things accomplished or to live your life.
On the other hand, I’m afraid for this friend. As smart as he is, I don’t think he knows what he’s getting into by stepping into a JAIL cell…he smugly thinks everything will go his way.
His story IS newsworthy and he does have a couple of contacts that can help get it into the public eye.
What do you say, Dopers, do I get behind him wholeheartedly with a shrug and a “Whatever you decide I’ll stick by you” or do I give him a sound lecture about what a mistake he’s making?
