Friend of a friend of a friend

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So, a few night ago, I was headed out for a few drinks with some friends. Riding with my friend, T, we stopped to pick up a friend of his, J, that I had never met before. From there, we moved on to our watering hole of choice, and were walking in when we were approached by a panhandler. This wasn’t a totally down-and-out bum who hadn’t seen a bath in years; he was more just a tad raggedy, with a dirty shirt and nappy hair, and a strong, STRONG smell of alcohol. I was going for the stern “Can’t help you” and walk by without making eye contact, but T got sucked in:

panhandler: Hey, man, you know that school up there on the hill?

T: You mean K College?

panhandler: Yeah, man, look…I’m trying to get $1.50 for bus fare to get up there, you know, 'cause I got a test tomorrow I need to study for. You got any spare change on you to help a brother out?

J: Hey man, don’t I know you?

panhandler (turning to J): I think i do know you from somewhere…

J: What’s your name?

panhandler: M.

J: M…H? M H!

panhandler: Yeah, man! Where do I know you from?

J: You fucked a fat bitch on my couch!

Turns out not only did J know the panhandler, but he also had the dubious honor of seeing his drunken butt cheeks bobbing up and down in the heat of passion late one night after a party at his house. It was a totally unexpected turn of events, and hilarious at the time, and a little weird thinking of the kind of guy you do your best to ignore while walking past actually partying and having a social life.

I just had to share.

2

“Fucking a fat bitch”? You call that partying and having a social life? :rolleyes:

3

There’s a time and place for everything. It’s called college.

4

Didn’t you know “bitch” is the new “woman?” God but I hate that.

5

Is “fat” the new “hot”? I’d love that. Or is “fat” the new “phat”? I’m so confused.

6

See, this is how women think men talk about us while we’re not around. And that’s what keeps some of us from sleeping around. Which sucks.

7

I can assure you that most of us do not speak like that.

I’m embarrassed to read it.

8

I agree. I had crazy times in college and it was fun, but I definitely blush to think about it now. I was an idiot - but most of us were.

9

All right! Let’s gang up on the new guy!

W00t!@

10

Hey, pile on all you want. Those aren’t my words - those are between the panhandler and his buddy.

And besides, maybe “bitch” was applicable in this situation. Maybe she wouldn’t give the panhandler $1.50 for the bus fare home.

11

Yeah, but used wisely, it has a certain comic value.

“Mother Nature is a bitch, but she’s my bitch.”