"Friendly" retailers make me stabby

The BBQ Pit
81

I’ve grown used to overly friendly but not actually helpful workers in retail and restaurants, and I worked for 10 years in a department store so I try to be as polite as possible to them.

But what threw me was, this past Wednesday I had to go to the ER and I was laying on my little cot waiting for the doctor to get around to me and a lady from their registration department was coming around to every bed to double check personal info and insurance.

So she pops inside my curtained-off area and says, “Hi, I’m Whatsername from the registration department, how are you today?” :smack:

“I’m just walking on fucking sunshine” is what I wanted to say, which emerged as a sheepish “Ohhh I’ve been better.”

82

“Welcome to Costco, I love you.”

83

I went to Arhaus to look at furniture once and had been there about two minutes when I got “Are you enjoying your visit with us today?”

I was standing in line at Macy’s and the cashier asked the woman at the head of the line if it was still raining outside. She said that it was. Then a couple of other people got rang up, and then it was my turn. The cashier asked me if it was still raining outside. I told her that according to the woman buying the orange sweater, it was, but I wasn’t in a position to corroborate it. Busted, lady. Did you want to know, or do you just ask the same questions of random customers to make you seem all chummy?

I have told the Giant Eagle corporate folks through their web site that I will no longer be using their deli because of the incessant upselling. If I buy turkey, they ask me if I want cheese. If I buy cheese, they try to sell me cole slaw. There’s not going to be a light going on over my head to tell me “OMG, I really suddenly have a craving for three-bean salad!”

84

I’d never been in a Macy’s before yesterday. On a lark, I stopped at the mall on the way to my parents house because I thought “I really could use a couple new short-sleeved shirts!”. Man, the greeting/welcoming/chatting you up mania was strong in that place. It was pretty annoying.

I made several trips between displays from different clothing manufacturers and the fitting room until I found two shirts I liked and wanted to buy.

Then I waited forever while a checkout employee tried to negotiate some kind of pre-purchase with a nearly deaf old man.

A very nice lady strolled by, came to my rescue and offered to check me out at the other register at the station. Then she proceeded to bombard me with a bunch of “how are yous” and “oooh, I like this shirt” and “do you have any kids”, etcetera.

I finally escaped her million comments and questions and fled to the store exit which dumped out into the mall parking lot. And then the security alarm went off when I tried to get through. I waited a moment, then tried again…same result. Other customers were walking by, some guy laughed and I said “Man, I just want to get out of here!” and he was like “Just go”.

So after waiting 4-5 minutes for security to arrive and harass me, I went ahead and left, setting off the alarm again. I’d just spent $75 on exactly two shirts.

I get home to wear the one I liked most and it still had one of those ink-infused security tags on it.
:smack:

I didn’t even think to check my items when the alarm was going off when I tried to leave as its a somewhat flustering experience.

How do I know the security tag had ink in it, you ask? Because I tried to remove it with some pliers (I didn’t know these things actually had ink in them) and ruined my $40 shirt. I live almost an hour from that store.

Motherfuckers, just do your job (remove the tags!) and leave me alone. If I want help I will ask you!

:mad:

85

I was just kidding with my remark about the registers. I spent a few years working retail, so I know how it works, and couldn’t resist a smart-alecky comment.
Target’s pretty good about opening extra lanes quickly when lines get too long. Food Lion, too.

86

This is exactly the right thing to do with your retail anger. If a store is too friendly, or not friendly enough, or aggressively upsells or doesn’t aggressively upsell – or if the melba toast is placed in a spot not to your liking, then please explain calmly and politely to the management why you will no longer be shopping at the store and then take your business elsewhere. When you find the retail store that actually does sell to you in just the way you want, be sure and visit that store often and reward them. Of course, also be aware that when you are basking in your retail Eden that the customer standing next to you is probably fuming over some malignant detail of the store that you barely noticed — and boy, is management going to hear about it!

It is easy to forget that this world is full of people not very much like you, and some not at all like you. These people have likes and dislikes and their money is good too. From my own experience, about 1 out of every 6 customers asked if they found everything will say “no”. About half of these times we will be able to find the customer their item or a suitable substitute. Now, maybe 1 in 250 customers really really (I mean really) hates being asked that question. If I’m in management, this sounds like a question I still want my cashiers asking.

You may find it hard to believe, but a significant number of customers will say, “Hmm, three- bean salad does sound good. Give me a pound of that too.” They really do.

Stores are trying to make the maximum profit. They are going to behave in the way that makes the most profit. Nothing is wrong with that. So if the way you want the store to run is not the way they think will make the biggest profit, you are probably (and should be) SOL.

87

Bolding mine. Sometimes there is something wrong with that, when they are maximizing profits in illegal or unethical ways. We all agree that sawdust in the deli meatloaf is wrong, even though it might help the store’s profit margin. Personally, I feel that manipulating people into buying something just so that they don’t (consciously or subconsciously) feel rude is unethical. Your mileage may vary; I’m not the ethics police.

88

Obviously we agree that unethical behavior has no place in business. Unethical behavior should not be tolerated in any business.

But are we really talking unethical behavior here when we ask about extra three-bean salad?? Come on, now. Are we really manipulating the masses in some insidious way any worse than traditional advertising? Does anyone (subconsciously or not) really think they’re being rude when they refuse the offer of extra three-bean salad? Seems like a stretch to me.

And, where do we draw that line? Can I advertise at all? Can I show smiling healthy people in my ad eating unhealthy foods. Should the person who actually benefits from the offer of three-bean salad not have that offer because someone else is going to feel somehow compelled to purchase a cold multi-legume side dish that they don’t want or need? These are deep waters indeed!

89

Actually, yeah, I do. I know it’s my problem and not yours, but you asked. I have to actively avoid the deli counter because my anxiety level goes through the roof if I have to say no to a smiling stranger who I know is working hard to keep her job.

What can I say? Mom raised me to be a people pleaser to nearly pathological levels. :frowning:

90

"Is this your first time in TOWN? " What kind of store asks that?? Do I have an accent? Am I dressed in some kind of colorful native costume of a foreign land? Do I just look like I’m not from around these here parts? I’d be inclined to say, “My name is Sali, So-and-So, what say I wait for you to get off work so you can drive me around your marvelous city to see the sights?”

I don’t mind a little friendly conversation with a cashier, even if it is canned and insincere, since that’s often the only conversation I’ll have with someone all day. My favorite line is usually from some 17 year old who will ask, “did you find everything you were looking for?” and I’ll have to bite my tongue not to say, “Sonny, I was shopping in this store long before you were born, I think I know where everything is by now.”

91

At Trader Joe’s last week:
Checkout kid: “Heyyyy, so you’ve got some bratwurst and onions here. Looks like SOMEone’s grilling tonight…”

*Me: *“Uhhh, yeah. I am… Not that it’s any of your business…”
Yes, I finally said it. And since I did it with a conspiratorial smile, it came off as not-too-angry.

92

“Well, great to know we weren’t sold out of anything you were looking for. I hate it when that happens. Shoot, it’s even worse when they discontinue products we’ve stocked for years! Thankfully, every customer leaves here perfectly content every day and I have never really have to help anyone with anything. Since I already knew the answer to my question, I guess I have to admit it was just rhetorical. Have a nice day!”

93

I used to work in a combination convenience/deli/liquor store, usually in the deli portion. If someone got a sandwich, I’d suggest some cole slaw or potato salad or a couple of devilled eggs. Someone wants a pound of corned beef? I suggest some Swiss cheese to go with it, and maybe point out that we have rye bread available. I didn’t do this because I’d been trained to do it, but because I knew a lot of our regular customers, and I knew what they liked. If I was working the cash register, I’d ask them if they needed a pack of cigarettes on this trip, and I’d have a pack of their brand in my hand. If I just asked, maybe they’d buy the cancer sticks and maybe they wouldn’t. If I had the pack in my hand, in their sight, they’d usually buy. Suggestive selling works. And my sales numbers were usually the best of everyone’s. A lot of my regulars were actually kind of grateful, because they’d just gotten off work and they were completely wiped out, to the point where they couldn’t even remember that they needed cigarettes for tomorrow.

A lot of people are not concentrating on what they’re doing when they’re shopping. They’re worrying about something, or they’re just on autopilot. So suggesting some salad to go with that sandwich works, on a lot of them. Even the “Would you like fries with that?” phrase, as much as it’s mocked, works.

This doesn’t mean that I always like it, when I’m the target of it. But I recognize that usually the worker is required to spout certain phrases. What I really hate is the way that some workers do it so mechanically.

94

“Hi! Can I help you find anything?”

“No, I’m good… but if I need help, I’ll look for you, OK?”

95

That’s a good point. Advertising is, to an extent, manipulation, and I agree that advertising is perfectly ethical. There’s a continuum from gentle advertising to outright coercion, but I don’t know where exactly to draw the ethical line. In my opinion, if a customer has voluntarily entered your retail space to shop, further manipulation is not good. As to whether it’s rude, annoying, or unethical manipulation, I’m no authority. All I can say is that I don’t want commercials blaring at me over the sound system, scripted inanities flowing from employees’ mouths, and I really think mindless upselling is unethical. [I may be inconsistent here as well, because I think “upselling” a new product to introduce it is perfectly legit.]

I grew up in retail, and worked it for many years. I had really good training, and my parents’ business and my various employers were by and large very successful without resorting to tricks and gimmicks. They kept the stores stocked and clean, stocked quality products and made sure employees knew about them. I have a lot of respect for that way of doing business, and consequently little patience for those who are trying to mindlessly shovel in the maximum profits. You can be successful without squeezing every last penny out of everyone who crosses your threshhold. (To be fair, this was before the internet, so it may be that it isn’t possible to be successful like that anymore. If customers always buy only the very cheapest, these are the consequences we’ve brought upon ourselves.)

96

In a related scenario, after the clerk scans one of my items, she studies the package and asks me “Is this any good?”

:confused:

No, sweetie, it tastes like crap, but it was on sale and I just can’t resist a sale!! :smiley:

I never actually said that. And I understand the clerk wasn’t familiar with that particular product and might be interested in trying it. The question just doesn’t quite work. And I do respond civilly, either “Yes, it’s one of my favorites” or “I have no idea - I just decided to try it today” - no biggie. As long as I don’t feel like I’m being judged…

Just kidding about that last. Spare me the editorials about my purchases, I don’t care if you judge me or not. But I have spoken with some people who really worry what the clerk must be thinking when they see the diaper rash cream, the diapers, the baby formula, and the condoms… I get the feeling that the clerk is more concerned about finding the barcode than analyzing the whole of the cart contents, but who knows?

97

Different kind of business altogether, but a few times I’ve mentioned something about improving signage to train station or airport employees and been asked “would you mind putting that in writing? They wouldn’t listen if we mention it ourselves or report a verbal complaint/suggestion, but they do take the ones in writing very seriously.”

Putting things in writing says “this was important enough for me that I bothered ask for a complaints form, sit down, fill the page and hand it in. Now imagine what I’m telling my friends and family about your services.”

FTR, the four locations to which I’ve returned got better signs.

98

Bricks and mortar retail you have a problem. For many years you have worked on the principle that you can pull all this irritating psychological shit on me because while it might be a nuisance, it puts up sales and reduces shrinkage or whatever and in the end, I had to buy from you. I had no viable alternative.

Sorry bricks and mortar retail stores, our relationship is over. I could break it to you easily and give you some spiel about how “it’s not you, it’s me, and I’m sure we can stay friends”. Fuck that shit. You suck. I’ve started a relationship with the internet. It understands my needs. It doesn’t play silly headgames. I will not be seeing you any more than I have to from this point on. Goodbye.

99

:::hijack::: just the other day I had a comical purchase combination at the checkout which fortunately went uncommented on. My two only purchases were Cheerios and windshield wiper fluid.

100

Which is just but one reason why brick and mortar stores are now pretzel-twisting themselves to please their customers. Not just the internet, but there’s also the warehouse stores, Walmart, Target, other chains, you name it. Anything that distinguishes itself from its competitors – great customer service, say, or a wider product selection – puts them one-up with their direct competition.

There’s a supermarket chain in my area which is on its last legs. It’s particularly sad because it started as a local chain some 60-odd years ago. I worked for them close to 15 years before they were first bought out. They’ve since changed hands twice, and now they seem to be just hanging on by a thread. It does nowhere near the business it did say 10 years ago :shakes head: