STFU already....

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I don’t know what mental midget of the marketing world came up with this jewel, but it is annoying as hell.

It seems like the new whizkid idea is to have every frickin’ employee in the store greet you, even if they just walked past you one aisle over and greeted you there. I can’t go into the grocery store or the bookstore or wherever without thinking I have walked into a birdhouse full of parrots, all squawking “Hi! How are you today?”. You want to greet people? Fine - make like Wal-Mart and hire an old geezer to give a generic greeting at the door, then leave me alone unless I ask for help.

Yeah, it’s a minor rant, but it irritates me no end.

2

Moved from The BBQ Pit to Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share.

Gfactor
Pit Moderator

3

Hi, how are you today?

4

I got that at the grocery store a few weeks ago. Didn’t get it the last time I went there, though. Maybe someone complained, or the employees revolted.

5

Whenever I go to the Men’s section of a department store, I feel like I’m walking through the Valley of Death and the besuited old salesmen are vultures, wishing to God something would die.

6

“Welcome to Costco. I love you.”

[/Idiocracy]

The one that I see increasingly, and that bugs the livin’ shit out of me, is checkout personnel rating my purchases. “Ohh, Raising Arizona! I love that movie!”. “Hey, lettuce, celery and carrots! You’re eating healthy!” Someone actually said the latter to me the other day. Just stop it.

7

At my local grocery store the cashiers and baggers have been programmed to mindlessly repeat the phrase, “Would you like help out to your car?” They each repeat this at least twice each time I’m checking out. I say “No” each time but they really aren’t listening and ask again.

8

It seems like a few banks have jumped on this bandwagon too.

Teller: “Good morning! Welcome to (bank). My name is Carl and I’ll be handling your transaction today, blah blah blah, what can I do for you?”

PKK: “I would like to deposit twenty dollars, here is my money, here is the pre-filled deposit slip”

Teller: “Thank you, have you heard about (insert lame program here)? Would you like to sign up for it or speak to a financial specialist?”

PKK: “No, I just want to deposit twenty dollars.”

Teller: “Okay, well have you hear about (another lame program)?”

PKK: “Yes, and no I don’t want it.”

Teller: “Ok then. Would you like a balance with this?”

PKK: “No.”

Teller: “Okay, is there anything else I can do for you.”

PKK: “No.”

Teller: “Have all your banking needs been met today?”

PKK: “FFS, yes.”

Teller: “Thank you, and I went ahead and included your balance on your receipt for you. Have a nice day.”

Needless to say, I hate going into this particular bank. Depositing twenty dollars with a prefilled slip takes 10 minutes, after you are done waiting in line. I tried going through the drive through, and one of their financial specialists actually came to the intercom and started offering me products from there! I guess you have to appreciate their determination, but no is no! Leave me alone!

9

“Can you show me where the measuring cups are?”
“As you wish.”

Pleasant chitchat at the checkout counter doesn’t bother me. But I don’t need everybody in the store to greet me, fast-talk me and act like my friend. I do not go to department stores and hardware stores to meet people, I go there to buy some shit I need and then get out. Why did it have to be turned into a first date? It’s fine if these people are friendly, but I don’t want these people to be my friends, I want them to do their jobs. If they are friendly, that’s a bonus, but it’s not a substitute.

10

In some stores you will find they do this because they are trying to prevent theft by making sure you know that everyone who works there is acutely aware of your presence. I think other stores saw this and thought they were trying to be friendly and copied an anti-theft technique thinking it was a customer service technique.

11

Tis the season to be grumpy. :stuck_out_tongue: Jeez people, what’s wrong with a little courtesy? I went through this at Best Buy the other day. The checkout lady was so bubbly that I asked her if she took her happy pill today, this caused her to laugh even more.

It made my day anyway.

12

I don’t mind a little chit-chat at the checkout - as long as the cashier doesn’t stop what he/she is doing and start rambling on about something - but there are a couple parts I really don’t like.

Don’t address me by name, especially by my last name. (Yes, I know that Corporate surely requires it - to the corporate hacks who require this, knock it off already.) My last name is really hard to pronounce and the poor cashier flails there for a bit, wondering if I’m a secret shopper sent by the head office who is going to get him/her fired if they don’t manage to get something appropriate-sounding out.

Don’t ask me if (random item) is good. I know that a particular store requires their cashiers to do this because they ask me about a single item each time I go there, and I’ve heard it happen to other customers. Furthermore, each time that I can recall, they’ve coincidentally asked about something that I’ve never had before, and it’s just weird to keep saying, “No idea, I’ve never tried it before.” Plus it seems to confuse the cashier about what they’re supposed to say from there, if anything. Finally, you’re going to annoy someone who is going to insist that it’s an awful question because all of your merchandise should be ‘good’ (for some unquantifiable measurement of good).

13

No ATM available?

14

This is why [del]God[/del] IBM invented ATMs.

15

The personnel at the grocery store can talk all they want. I’m pretty good at ignoring people. Just so long as they don’t rearrange the store or otherwise impede my speedy progress, we are cool.

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“While your transaction is being processed, here are some of the financial services we provide” video starts

17

Picard Kills Kirk, the bank tellers at your bank probably have to meet a certain number “customer service points” each month. When my wife was a bank teller, they had to have something like 10 or 20 points each month. A point was anything like changing an elderly person from a regular account to the Senior Citizen’s account, or getting someone to sit down with a financial planner.

For the record, she HATED that part of her job.

18

Hey be glad you don’t live in a college town.

I swear, every time I go to the grocery to buy beer. In about a thirty foot walk from where I grab the beer to the cashier; I’ll have about two or three young punks (who freak’n work there) say to me something like: “Dude party!” or “Dude! Only the essentials huh?”

NO, NO, NO! Stop trying to identify with me you punks! It’s not like I’m going back to my place to do 'Keg stands" and “Bong hits” while listening to whatever crap music you kids listen to today.

I just want to go home, drink my beer and watch my current favorite sitcoms. (Gary unmarried, Modern family)

19

Genuinely happy retail workers aren’t the problem, it’s the creepiness that is every person saying hello, even if it’s clear to both parties that the exchange is unwanted by both sides.

20

Unfortunately, debit/ATM cards aren’t available for all types of accounts. But like someone else posted, I’m sure they would get me there too if they could.