OK, I had the salad for lunch (being all healthy and whatnot) and decided to wash it down with some Doritos[sup]tm[/sup]. Yup, opened up the bag of “Four Cheese” Doritos[sup]tm[/sup].
Hmmmm… I wondered, just what are those 4 cheeses?
Check back of bag for ingredients.
Here they are:
Monterey Jack cheese
OK, maybe we can lump colby in with cheddar; that still leaves five. I don’t get it. Why not advertise six cheeses? Perhaps Collounsbury can set me straight on this, given his desire to be an enlightened cheesmaker.
spritle, the answer was right in front of you all the time.
They slipped in American cheese to see if anyone was paying attention.
American cheese is not a true cheese, it’s a ‘processed cheese-like food product’.
So, in combining colby with cheddar (as per your suggestion), and allowing .01 of 1% for American “cheese”, we get a total of 4.001 cheeses, rounding down since the amount of American cheese is rather negligible, we find the total is 4 cheeses in the “Four Cheese” Doritos[sup]TM[/sub].
Not a case of false advertising at all, just some playful math.
[sub]And if I screwed up on the decimals, sorry.[/sub]
I don’t get it though. If they can claim to put 6 cheeses on their Doritos, why wouldn’t they? Are they scared someone will walk up to the bag in the grocery store and say “Six cheeses, huh? Well, three I could certainly understand. Four amalgamated lactose byproducts might even be enjoyable. Five cheeses however would be the pinnacle of artificial zestiness that I could handle from an processed flour substitute. Six? No way. Not only is that anti-climactic, but I’d seriously be concerned about my clogged arteries from the cholesterol packed chip. I think I’ll stick with the double fudge chocolate chip devil’s food cake mix thankyouverymuch.”
nice try screechy; I considered that too. However, the bag (back, not ingredients section) boasts Cheddar, Monterey Jack, American and Parmesian. They seem to lump Colby in with Cheddar (understandable) but why leave out Swiss? It can’t be for political reasons, can it? Do they consider it to be less of a cheese because of the holes? Is this a conspiricy? Should I contact Oliver Stone? Am I taking this too far? Is this the last question? Are all these questions too much? Should I stop?
They definately screwed it up, but here’s what I figure
glass bottles & jars
Since both are glass >and glass was not specified as mirrors/windows/home-decor-statues, it could all be lumped into one major category glass. This would leave only five. Of course they weren’t smart enough to figure that out…
So, I would say that Frito-Lay’s list actually means this:
Cheddar (cheddar, American, Monterey Jack).
Sneaky devils. They label it prominently “FOUR CHEESES!” and then you look at the ingredients and see, “Oh, wow, there’s actually six cheeses in here!” and you’re SO impressed, but actually you’re only getting three cheeses–Swiss, Parmesan, and cheddar, basically, because Colby is awfully similar to cheddar.
I would guess that it’s because, of all the cheeses mentioned, Swiss is probably the least popular. They don’t want a whole bunch of picky eaters to reject the product because it has “Ewww…Swiss cheese!” I don’t know why they put it in anyway…but, my experience with picky eaters tells me that what they don’t know won’t hurt them.