Frito-lay can't count!!

OK, I had the salad for lunch (being all healthy and whatnot) and decided to wash it down with some Doritos[sup]tm[/sup]. Yup, opened up the bag of “Four Cheese” Doritos[sup]tm[/sup].

Hmmmm… I wondered, just what are those 4 cheeses?

Check back of bag for ingredients.

Here they are:

  1. Cheddar cheese
  2. American cheese
  3. Monterey Jack cheese
  4. Parmesian cheese
  5. Swiss cheese
  6. Colby cheese

OK, maybe we can lump colby in with cheddar; that still leaves five. I don’t get it. Why not advertise six cheeses? Perhaps Collounsbury can set me straight on this, given his desire to be an enlightened cheesmaker.

It’s not just you who’s confused, spritle. Here’s an item from this morning’s “Trivia Time” e-mail:


The Consumer Product Safety Commission reports that the five
most dangerous sources are: stairs, glass, doors, cutlery,
glass bottles and jars, and home power tools.

Maybe it’s a baker’s dozen kind of thing.

“Colby” and “American” don’t count. Remove those, that leaves four. Apparantly, Frit-Lay counts just fine.

spritle, the answer was right in front of you all the time.
They slipped in American cheese to see if anyone was paying attention.
American cheese is not a true cheese, it’s a ‘processed cheese-like food product’.
So, in combining colby with cheddar (as per your suggestion), and allowing .01 of 1% for American “cheese”, we get a total of 4.001 cheeses, rounding down since the amount of American cheese is rather negligible, we find the total is 4 cheeses in the “Four Cheese” Doritos[sup]TM[/sub].
Not a case of false advertising at all, just some playful math. :smiley:

[sub]And if I screwed up on the decimals, sorry.[/sub]

I don’t get it though. If they can claim to put 6 cheeses on their Doritos, why wouldn’t they? Are they scared someone will walk up to the bag in the grocery store and say “Six cheeses, huh? Well, three I could certainly understand. Four amalgamated lactose byproducts might even be enjoyable. Five cheeses however would be the pinnacle of artificial zestiness that I could handle from an processed flour substitute. Six? No way. Not only is that anti-climactic, but I’d seriously be concerned about my clogged arteries from the cholesterol packed chip. I think I’ll stick with the double fudge chocolate chip devil’s food cake mix thankyouverymuch.”

nice try screechy; I considered that too. However, the bag (back, not ingredients section) boasts Cheddar, Monterey Jack, American and Parmesian. They seem to lump Colby in with Cheddar (understandable) but why leave out Swiss? It can’t be for political reasons, can it? Do they consider it to be less of a cheese because of the holes? Is this a conspiricy? Should I contact Oliver Stone? Am I taking this too far? Is this the last question? Are all these questions too much? Should I stop?

I don’t think Frito can count either. I don’t care about the cheese number, just the “betcha can’t eat just one” thing.

They definately screwed it up, but here’s what I figure

  1. glass
  2. glass bottles & jars

Since both are glass >and glass was not specified as mirrors/windows/home-decor-statues, it could all be lumped into one major category glass. This would leave only five. Of course they weren’t smart enough to figure that out…

Luckily, they don’t list the head, dick and between the toes types.

I thought maybe there was an extra comma between “glass” and “doors” and they were looking for glass doors, which are notorious for people walking into them.

I owe an immeasurable debt to the Frito-Lay corporation. Because of them, I’m able to guarantee that I can be slapped on demand.

“Excuse me, do you like chips? Because I’m Frito-Lay.”

Ah, without you, I’d have to resort to more crude methods to get slapped, like gropes and leering. Those just seem too classless, though.

FTR, Frito-Lay is located in Plano, Texas, which is where I went to high school, and I most likely know some of the people who work there.

Taking that into consideration, I don’t doubt that they can’t count :smiley:


Yeah, we have a Frito-Lay factory over on John Young and Silver Star Boulevards. A few weeks ago, one of the trucks took the corner too fast and spilled a load of raw potatoes. Funny as 'ell.

Not exactuly sure what they did with the spilled potatoes, though…:eek:

Unfortunately no true cheesemaker has come to show me the way, and even so, I would never betray the secrets of the cheesemakers if they chose to reveal them to me.

did he say “blessed are the cheesemakers”?

Okay, here we go. We delve into the mind of Frito-Lay.
The official list:

  1. Cheddar cheese
  2. American cheese
  3. Monterey Jack cheese
  4. Parmesian cheese
  5. Swiss cheese
  6. Colby cheese

Parmesan and Swiss are distinctive cheeses. That’s two.

Then we have Cheddar. That makes three.

American cheese is of course just a blend of Cheddar and other kinds of cheeses.

Now then. It was my understanding that Monterey Jack was just a kind of cheddar.

Then there’s Colby cheese. It was also my understanding that Colby cheese was also just a kind of cheddar.

However, it evidently depends on who is making the Colby cheese. You can make it another way, and then it’s NOT a kind of cheddar.

“Cheddaring” refers to cutting up the curd.

So, I would say that Frito-Lay’s list actually means this:

  1. Swiss.
  2. Parmesan.
  3. Cheddar (cheddar, American, Monterey Jack).
  4. Colby.

Sneaky devils. They label it prominently “FOUR CHEESES!” and then you look at the ingredients and see, “Oh, wow, there’s actually six cheeses in here!” and you’re SO impressed, but actually you’re only getting three cheeses–Swiss, Parmesan, and cheddar, basically, because Colby is awfully similar to cheddar.

I love Duck Duck Goose

I would guess that it’s because, of all the cheeses mentioned, Swiss is probably the least popular. They don’t want a whole bunch of picky eaters to reject the product because it has “Ewww…Swiss cheese!” I don’t know why they put it in anyway…but, my experience with picky eaters tells me that what they don’t know won’t hurt them.

This whole thing sounds cheesey.