For this I like to look at the parable of the prodigal son in a Schrodinger’s cat sort of way. In that was the son actually on his own - yes. Was the son never on his own - also yes. Both realities existed at the same time while the son left till the point when the son returned (or decided to return - your pick). Once the son returned one of the realities collapses into non-existence and the son was never on his own but just learning under the father’s wisdom.
That is how I see our salvation, once we make that choice to accept Christ have that unconditional acceptance, and our ‘on our own part of living’ is washed pure white as if we were never on own own.
Looking at scriptures that have us preexist the womb:
Eph 1:4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love
Jer 1;5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
Ro 8:29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
Also note the use of the words ‘knew’ and ‘foreknew’ in the above 2 verses in the context of
Matt 7: 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’
Also I have found the duality here interesting. In this I ask if the inmost being what God was knitting here, or what that just a body for it that God was making for a preexisting ‘soul’. Was our inmost being not made in the womb but ‘secret places in the depths of the earth’. Also considers our body a ‘tent’ which will one day be discarded according to Paul.
PS 139:13For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful,I know that full well.15My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
So it would seem like there is a case for pre-destination, but there is also independence where God does not know us. Again the Schrodinger’s cat can allow this duality. I also do believe in universal reconciliation based on many verses including :
Colossians 1:19–20 : “For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.