From Clickhole: runner puts injured competitor out of her misery

New meaning to the term “gun lap”.

I’ve heard of using guns to start a race…

That’s awful, there should be laws against this sort of thing. [frowny face]

Okay, now we have reached Onion territory?

Is the real or not?

Ever since the diaper wearing astronaut killer story I don’t know what to believe anymore.

I’m wondering if the weight penalty is worth carrying over long distances. Besides, what about the chafing issues with the holster?

Parody: Clickhole Wiki

Absolutely not. A runner loses (appx) 2 seconds per lb. per mile.
A knife is better plus easier to conceal.

I admire that girl. Stopping to shoot her competitor could have allowed another runner to win. It was a selfless act that we don’t see enough of in sports anymore.

Number one with a bullet?

She did give up the win to deliver the final act of kindness.

Literally The Onion. It’s their parody of Buzzfeed and Huffpo and other clickbait listicle nonsense.

Sportsmanship. Pass it on.

I missed that. Now I’m on the verge of tears. There just is no compassion in this world anymore. While I was starting to really think Bernie Sanders was a guy who did belief in social justice instead of just another politician pandering to the communist voting bloc I now realize if he was really the kind of guy I could vote for he would have pulled out one of the guns he fought so hard to protect and put a bullet in Martin O’Malley’s head before the poor guy had to humiliate himself by pulling out of the race.

Sounds like a ripoff of this Onion story:

Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg

Clickhole is an Onion site. Specifically satirizing clickbait sites.

The Onion should do a story riffing on this.

You win the thread.

Clickhole should do a list of Onion stories that would make good Clickhole stories.