I finally decided that working fulltime, trying to raise a human child, finishing my degree, and keeping a hold on sanity was a wee bit too much to manage. So I asked to go to a 70% appointment, something that was granted to me reluctantly. My boss could see the writing on the wall, I think. It was this or quit.
Last week was my first week on this reduced schedule. I had planned on rejoicing. You know what I did instead? Felt guilty. Felt like a quitter. Felt like I was wussing out, letting my office down, schluffing off. I wondered why it is that some people manage work/school/family (and more) okay, whereas I was losing my mind. I fretted over my officemates deciding I was not valuable at work since I wasn’t there anymore. I fretted over accumulating less for retirement on my reduced salary.
I didn’t even enjoy it! What the heck is wrong with me? Has anyone else gone through this? I presume it’s just a period of adjustment and soon I’ll be sleeping in and giving the working world the merry ol’ finger on Fridays. But in the meantime, good christ! I didn’t see this guilt coming!
It’s hard to give up responsibility, especially one that you’ve had longer than raising a human. But, in the long run, the benefits of raising that human will be greater.
Don’t think of it as giving up or giving into pressure.
Think of it as letting go.
The fact that your boss has been more than willing to accomodate your request means that you are a valuable employee.
Here is something that will make you feel better: I worked for a small company. When I was about to have my son, my boss said that I did not need six weeks off, but only three weeks off. Quitting was very easy for me.
I have been petitioning my manager and her manager for a long time to go to a four day work week… I need the hours but also need more time to rest and get caught up with things at home.
70% sounds good and if you can afford everything you are accustomed to I don’t see a problem. You have no reason to feel guilty and I can picture you flying the bird come Friday when the rest of us are at work.
Why do I have time to spend on these boards? Because the company I work for is going out of business and I’m one of the “lucky few” who needs to be around until the end. Mostly though, I spend my time websurfing and I work a pretty short day.
And you know what? I feel guilty about it. There’s no reason I should, I know. The company is not dissolving because of me. I wouldn’t accomplish more by putting in more hours. I’m probably working harder than I need to, and believe me that’s an amazing statement.
Anyway, I understand that you feel you’re somehow letting someone down. Try to figure out specifically who that might be: your boss, co-workers, whoever. Do they understand? Your boss obviously does, since he was willing to let you shorten your hours. Are your co-workers understanding or resentful?
If your co-workers suddenly have to pick up your slack, that means that the office is understaffed, and probably was when you were there on a full schedule. THIS IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM!! It’s probably the reason you wanted the reduced schedule.
Cranky, I went from a five day work week to four days about 1 year ago. I now have Fridays off to run errands and spend more time with my 4 year old son.
DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!!! You are not a wuss. You have your head on straight and know what you need. I congratulate you on making your decision!
I know what you mean,Cranky. Mrs. ricepad works a 3/5 schedule, Mon-Wed. Unfortunately, her boss still assigns her work as if she were full time. He understands that she’s only there 3 days/week, and to his credit, he does not expect her to complete everything he gives her, but it puts her in a bad position nonetheless, because she’s got to decide which assignments will come in late. The boss doesn’t hold it against her, but still…it makes her assign job priority, whereas she thinks HE should be doing that.
So the FT vs. PT thing causes her some grief, but even so, she really likes having it, too. Thursdays are her days to herself, and she volunteers in the kids’ school on Fridays. The kids really like that part, and when your little one gets into school and he brings Mom to school, he’ll love it, too.
Take it from an old friend…you’re doing the right thing.
You go, Cranky! You know what’s best. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
A little more than 5 years ago I went to my then-boss and told him, “Look, you know that I’ve been doing freelance work on the side, trying to start a new career. Work has been picking up, and while I’d like to devote more time to the freelance work, I don’t have enough yet to fly solo. I need this job yet and you still need me [which was true], so I’d like to reduce my hours by dropping Sunday nights and coming in four nights a week, Monday through Thursday. And no more overtime.”
The boss was no dummy. I’d given him no illusions about the fact that I would be quitting eventually to start the new career. He could graciously accept the new job parameters and keep me on for a while longer (if only PT), or be a jerk about it and lose me right then. I worked PT for the next 6 months before taking the leap to full-time freelancing. I know the boss wished I had stayed (in fact, I heard through the grapevine about 2 years later that he still wished I hadn’t quit!), but in the end, it’s my life and my choice, not his.
You won’t regret your decision, Cranky. Who would you rather received the benefit of your attention – your boss and co-workers or your child and your mental health? No contest.