I’ve consulted my fellow Albertans and we’ve decided to turn off the taps to you impertinent ingrates.
Granting some mercy, we give you fair warning of what lies ahead for you:
day one - your houses are getting cold (or hot and humid if you live in southern Ontario)
day two - grocery stores no longer have fresh produce as delivery trucks have no diesel
day three - all fast food restaurants close down
day four - people notice that Amazon deliveries are no longer showing up on their doorsteps
day five - Walmart shelves are getting pretty bare
day six - plastic production plants shut down. 99.99% of manufactured goods cannot be made anymore.
day seven - everybody’s cars have run out of gas so they just sit at home in the dark. However your bicycles have free reign on the city streets.