Fuck Beds.

We should all have setees in our bedrooms. Beds are crap. I can get to sleep on a setee much easier.

In fact I could probably sleep better on the floor. (I have been tempted in the past, but all the clothes, magazines and plates have put me off)

And while we’re at it. All music should be good. There should be no adverts. Beautiful women should sit around me and caress me. I should be able to write better than tolkien. Gary Rhodes should cook anything at my whim, even fries and a cheeseburger (no fancy shit Gary). And I should have the body of a gymnast. (a male one. Or a female one if you re-define ‘have’)

I sleep in a hammock. It’s much better than a bed (although I was looking foward to learning about the fuck beds from your title)

Damn! I thought this thread was about something they sold at sex shops. If you enunciate the title wrong, it creates an interesting impression…

And I thought there was a new kind of bed out on the market that improved sexual relations & positions with your partner…damn…

Lobsang, you’re all right. :smiley:

However: I suggest we ban from the board all British-type usage that us Merkins can’t understand without the aid of a helpful and sympathetic Commonwealther…in other words, what the hell is a “setee”? :wink:

(FTR, I currently choose the couch; I like the location)

I also slept on the floor in my room for about a year; I preferred the durometer

You people are weird! I love my bed. Love, love, love it. Sometimes I get in in the middle of the day and just roll around and enjoy it. Unfortunatly, so far as I know, it is not a fuck bed.

“Fuck bed” would be a good product name.

Only in The Sims. :wink:

I just ADORE my bed. It’s nice and soft, but not TOO soft-the mattress is firm enough. And I have those foam egg crate padding thingies. Ideally, it should be cold enough to pile on four blankets on top of my top sheet-two comforters and too afghans. There is NOTHING like burrowing down under those blankets with my pillows and stuffed animals-it feels like I have my own little cocoon. It’s so cozy and warm.

I can’t understand how people can fall asleep on floors and settees and chairs. I can NEVER fall asleep unless I’m in a bed, or on a big enough sofa.

I know I fucked up the spelling and you know what a settee is, but for those that don’t…



Chaise longue




An old friend of mine once fell asleep in the foot-space of a coach seat.

This same friend can and did often swim with his legs tucked behind his head.

I’m so worn out these days, I can sleep anywhere.

But my bed has about a dozen pillows of the velvet, satin and soft variety, a black canopy that goes to the floor, a soft mattress pad, and thick gold and black cotton and cashmere blankets with linen sheets.


What were we talking about again?

Now, that does sound like a “fuck bed”…

Uh, what was I saying… :o …oh, yeah—

Actually, Lobsang, I didn’t know the difference spelling-wise, and well, you’re half-right—I could’ve guessed. I just saw fit to make a joke, and I was being an ass…sorry. :stuck_out_tongue:

Don’t let me hijack—I believe we were talking about various models of fuck-beds…?

Mr. Amanita would love to spend $2500 to get one of those Tempur-Pedic mattresses.

Thank gods we’re poor.

I was in a Fuck bed once. Unfortunately, it was someone ELSE’s Fuck bed, and it was a tad… odorous.

I’m taking up a collection for the very worthy “Buy Junie a Featherbed and some 600 Thread-Count Sheets” fund. I’m tired of cheap bedding to the point that major donors can help me test out the new stuff.


I was given a set of 650-threadcount Egyptian cotton sheets once. Very smooooooooth, soft, wonderfully luxourious (see, they were so nice I can’t even type!) Until my bed was used as a fuck-bed…ever cut yourself with thread? The mesh was so fine my girlfriend was pulling little luxourious cottony fibers out of her back for a week. I’d recomment no higher than 400TC for sheets, unless you only want to sleep on 'em.


Pronounced “Shays Long-yoo”

I want to get me one of those Craftmatic Adjustable Beds.

Now THAT’S living…


Ah! no you weren’t being an ass. I know you were making a joke and I saw the funny side. (damn words and their inability to make meaning seem more serious than it is)

I just wanted to show off that I knew how to press ‘synonyms’ in MS word. My reply was meant in jest too.

Now what’s a durometer?