Fuck everyone at work's idea of "cyber-friends" and DopeFests

The BBQ Pit
21

I too, have been meeting online folks IRL for ages so my family doesn’t have a problem with it. I’ve had two relationships with folks I met online. It’s gotten to the point where I get a kick out of the looks on people’s faces when they ask ‘So where did you meet your boyfriend/fiance/husband’ and I tell them we met online, thru chat. Next Q is usually ‘oh, internet dating?’ and I say no, we met thru technical interests. Hell, online life in most ways has a lot of parallels to non-virtual life (I’m searching for a better term than ‘real life’ because it tends to imply that online life isn’t real and people ‘fake’ it… which is not the case for most of us, though I express my personality better thru realtime such as IRC than an MB…) Ie. most folks don’t meet their spouses thru dating services, so just because you meet online is not a reason to assume that you have done so. However, one guy I work with DID meet his wife thru such a service and they’ve been married 15 years or so.

I am babbling. Needless to say, I don’t have problems telling folks I have had good friends whom I’ve never met (Jolene, this means you. Miss you.)

22

Of course, part of the problem is that the know-nothings see all of these stories about real-life Internet meetings and assume everyone on there is a certifiable wacko.

I had been online two weeks before I decided to meet someone, and even then I had to drive 12 hours. But hey, I had my reasons! She was drop-dead gorgeous. I showed her pic to the people I worked with and got much the same reaction as you did - you’ve only known her a short time, etc. Well, two weeks talking to someone online is more like two months or more in real life, because you get to know so much more about the person.

And now I’ve met about 150 people, so nyah nyah nyah to all the not-with-it people.

23

[LaurAnge’s mom]: “Now Daerlyn, you take care of her!” [/LaurAnge’s mom]

24

It will be a cold day in hell before I touch scott evil’s valuables.

And you’re lucky we were on the same team, imthjckaz, or I would have taken you down to the ground.

25

The assumption the people like scott’s coworkers make is that somehow, only murderers, rapists and child molesters inhabit the online world. Or that maybe we all become murders, rapists and child molesters when we spend time online.

::cackles maniacally and rubs hands together gleefully:: [sub]Come here, my pretty[/sub] I don’t know where they’d get such a crazy notion.

26

Don’t worry. I’m scared of you enough as it is. :stuck_out_tongue:

27

Don’t worry about it scott. Just remember that Maegs is really ticklish right… BANG
erk

slump

28

You asked for it.

29

My mom’s a lot like the other moms in this thread. I haven’t stopped telling her that I’m meeting people from online, however.
I just pointed out to her that I’m nearly 35, and I’m not living with her anymore so I don’t HAVE to tell her anything.

This usually shuts her up nicely.

30

I gave up telling them who I’m meeting. Yep, I’m heading to Atlanta. To see a friend. End of story. :>

31

That was Wicked Blue, and it was indeed the Internet Friendship Program. Funniest thing I heard all weekend.

32

Oh! I’m now famous in Montreal! :smiley:

33

I submit Analog Life

34

While traveling for work some time ago in Albany, NY I had an interesting conversation with someone about meeting people over the internet.

Knowing this person was from California, I asked how he got to be working in Albany, NY. He responded that he came here to visit some friends he “met online” and was eventually offered a job by them.

I didn’t ask anything further at the time, but often wondered if he was a doper. I was new to the boards then, and didn’t ask for specifics. But, the pride with which he managed to say he met people “online” while my co-workers were laughing at him of course, always made me wonder.

If he wasn’t a doper, are there other boards like this one out there where normal, not-psyco, intelligent, career-oriented people share thoughts and friendships? I always thought this board an anomaly. Or, maybe he was a doper after all.

35

how 'bout “obnoxious I can’t just turn off the computer and make it go away” life?

:smiley:

36

Well, if we’re talking about good things happening by being online, let me add this:

I left a job in early 1999 and spent most of the summer doing nothing and getting stoned with my boyfriend at the time, while collecting unemployment. (I left voluntarily, but on the form you need to submit for unemployment, my work made it look like I had been canned - plus they gave me a nice severance package and benefits for a few months.)

Come January 2000, my unemployment benefits were about to run out. I had been looking for a job, but nothing seemed appealing, or would pay what I deserved.

One evening, I was in #gaymontreal chat, and I just blurted out, “I need a job.” Someone msg’d me asking me what I did. I told him, and he asked me to send my resume, for a tech writing job. I got an interview, sent in my university transcripts, and got hired. I’m still there, two and a half years later (but my ex-boss isn’t - he got canned exactly a year ago today).

So my conclusion is that online people and things can be good as much as they can be bad. Had I not gone on IRC that night and typed “I need a job,” I might have ended up working for a printing press (one place that contacted me, since my previous job was as a graphic designer).

As I’ve said before, even though I bitch about my job, it’s still the best job I’ve had, and it pays well. On top of that, if I were to leave (or get canned - knock wood), the company I work for is well-respected, as was the company I worked for before, so that would give me an advantage.

37

If you are going to be touching scott’s valuables, make sure you . . .

uh, never mind.
:wink:

38

Confession:

I have been good friends Ginger of the North for gasp more than ten years. When she told me she was getting married, and to a guy she met over the internet, my first reaction was to have the men in white jackets here for when she visited me.

Then, she tells me that her first full day here in sunny Vancouver she wants to go to a DopeFest on Granville Island to meet some more total strangers from the internet. I say to myself, “Self, she is nuts. And she’s taking me with her.” And we go. And I meet some really cool people, and realize that it is possible for my very perceptive friend to determine who on the internet is going to garotte her in her sleep, and who will make her happy for a lifetime.

I still don’t know WeirdDave. But I don’t have to, so long as Ginger does. But I am happy to be a doper, and prepared to get to know other human being in such a faceless way.

39

I was shocked and dismayed at first to learn that Ginger’s friend was someone she had met in the “real world.” After all, I know what those people are like-- I get CNN. But we got through the whole afternoon, and she didn’t shoot anyone, or toss any kittens or barbeques, or anything-- in fact, she seemed reassuringly normal and non-threatening. I guess I learned something that day-- the integration of analog and digital types may not be an impossible dream after all.

40

The bottom line is, people you meet on the internet are just that. People. Just like you meet people face-to-face and some are wonderful, some are crazy, some are weird and some are boring or pretentious. It is the same basic thing when you meet people online. I actually think it is easier to weed out the nutcases online, at least on this board or the UB. Not that we have any scary people over there, because we don’t. You see someone around these boards who shares your interests, or maybe they seem like someone you want to know better, so you take it to email or PM and get to know them. Quite possibly you get to know them better than you would if you met them in person first, because many people find it easier to share their real self when they don’t have to look at you while they are sharing.

I had never been involved in a message board when I first came here, but I know people who have participated in other message boards and from what I can tell, many of the MB’s out there DO seem to attract people you wouldn’t want to meet face-to-face. I think that the level of intelligence and the intolerance for baloney is so high here that most people who aren’t “REAL” get banned or can’t take it and leave.

I have never met a Doper face-to-face who wasn’t exactly who I thought they would be from their posts. And I have met more than several. I met some of my best friends here, and I bless the day I found this board for many reasons…but most of all for that.

When I explained all this to my family, they were a bit sceptical, but they trust my judgement and figured I knew what I was doing. My father couldn’t quite “get” it, until I said it was sort of like being “PenPals” with someone. Then he said “Oh, okay.” Now, he asks how Shayna or Grace are doing, (except I use their real names…I don’t want to confuse him THAT much!) and wants to know how so and so’s mom or dad is doing. They are real to him, just like you all are real to me.

It’s all good.